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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Doing A Job On Having A Job

    , | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (It’s about 6:30 am. I’m working drive-thru near to the end of an overnight shift. The queue is pretty slow because we’re serving breakfast, and many people have complex grill orders that need to be filled. A customer pulls up to my window and pays without saying a word. However, as soon as I start to take another order, the customer yells at me.)

    Customer: “Why is my order taking so d*** long?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there is a fairly large order for the two cars in front. We’re rather understaffed today, too.”

    Customer: “Well, get them to move faster! It’s alright for some! Unlike you I actually have a JOB to get to!”

    Me: *stares down at my work uniform*

    Hope He Is Kidding

    | BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I work in a coffee shop that has a drive-thru, and we’re currently in the afternoon rush. I’m wearing a headset, making drinks for my manager who is taking the drive-thru orders.)

    Coworker: “Hi there, welcome to [coffee shop]; how’s your day going?

    Customer: “It’s alright. Get me a large black coffee.”

    Coworker: “For sure! Can we get you an oat bar to go with that today?”

    Customer: “A what?”

    Coworker: “An oat bar.”

    Customer: *angrily* “No, I don’t want a goat farm with that!”

    That’ll Cost A BUN-dle

    , | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am on the headset working the drive-thru, and my boss is near me bagging orders.)

    Me: “Hi, may I take your order please?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what comes on your #6?”

    Me: “Mayo, lettuce, and tomatoes.”

    Customer: “What?! No bun?!”

    (I don’t know how to react at first, and I can’t stop laughing for a second before I can respond.)

    Me: “No, ma’am, it comes with the bun.”

    My Boss: “You should have told her the bun cost extra.”

    Has Not Registered The Lack Of Pockets

    | UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (A customer brings some items to my register and I ring them up. The total is £5.50, and she hands me a £10 note. I’ve come across this scam many times, so rather than putting the customer’s money straight into the register, I always place it on top until the transaction is complete, and put it in the drawer at the last moment. It is summer, and I am wearing a light summer dress with no pockets.)

    Me: “Thanks, your change is £4.50, and here’s your receipt.”

    Customer: *staring at the money but not taking it* “I gave you a £20 note.”

    Me: “No, sorry, you paid with a £10 note. Your change is £4.50.”

    Customer: “No! I gave you a £20 note! You’re trying to short-change me!”

    Me: *smiling* “You gave me £10. This £10.” *I point at the note sitting on the register* “Your change is £4.50.”

    Customer: *red-faced and irate* “Get your manager!”

    (My manager is at a desk right behind me, and has heard everything.)

    Manager: “Can I help?”

    Customer: “She’s trying to steal my money! I gave her a £20, but she’s only giving me change for a £10!”

    Manager: *peering into my cash drawer* “Well, the drawer has two £5 notes, and about three £10 notes in it, but no £20 notes. Where exactly is the £20 note you paid with?”

    Customer: “Um… she must have pocketed it!”

    (The manager steps back, and makes a point of slowly looking up and down at my clearly pocketless outfit.)

    Manager: “Right… and where exactly would she have put it?”

    Customer: “Er…”

    Manager: “Right.” *to me* “Give her the change from the £10.”

    Me: “Here you go, £4.50!”

    Customer: “F*** you!”

    Manager: *to me* “I’ll make you a cup of tea. I think you need it.”

    Cold Customers To Calculating Staff

    | Ashford, Kent, UK | At The Checkout, Math & Science

    (Working on the till can sometimes get a bit boring and repetitive, especially when having to ask the same questions over and over again. To keep my brain busy, when a customer pays with cash I sometimes work out the change in my head before the till tells me what it is.)

    Me: “Your change today will be [amount].”

    (I enter the amount of money given into the till. Sure enough, I am correct with the change.)

    Customer: “You knew it beforehand? How did you know?”

    Me: “Um, mental arithmetic?”

    Customer: “No, no! You work in a shop! You shouldn’t know math! Honestly, what next?!”

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