October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Irritable Book Syndrome

| Greenville, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Health & Body

(A customer walks in already carrying one of our bags so I know it’s a return. Even worse it’s our Christmas bag and it’s currently June. She gets to the register, slams her bag on the counter and immediately jumps into a story. I pull the receipt out just to check the date and it says December 14th.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but the receipt says December 14th and I’m looking and these two books rang up to $100. If it wasn’t so much there—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “No. No. NO! I already told you these aren’t for me. These were for my friend’s birthday and he’s already got them and I have no use for them.”

Me: “I understand that but we have a two-weeks with a receipt policy and—”

Customer: “Focus! These aren’t for me, okay?! I have no need for them and you will give me my money back!”

(I attempt to speak again but she cuts me off again)

Customer: “I’m done with you. I want a manager. Don’t say anything else, just get your manager. Shush.”

(I call my manager, who threatened to fire me two weeks prior for returning a $20 book that was four days past the two-week policy.)

Manager: “Hi, what seems to be the issue?”

(The customer then explains how I’m an idiot, these books aren’t for her, and she doesn’t care about our policy and wants her money back.)

Manager: “Oh, oh, well, absolutely. [My Name]? Ha! I’m sorry he just doesn’t understand. It’s ok, buddy, we’ll have a training sesh on this later.”

(The manager walks away as the lady smugly stands there waiting for her money. A line has now formed behind her. The next person in line is a younger guy. I then pull out the books to ring them up. The first is called ‘Headaches in the Pelvic Region’ and the second is ‘Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Your Life.’ I then notice she used her discount card so I subtract the savings.)

Customer: “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, you used your discount card and got 10% off. I just subtracted that.”

Customer: “Well, how much were those books?!”

(I speak loud enough for the line that had built up behind her to hear.)


(The customer tries to shush me then angrily snatches her money. The younger customer walks up, lays his purchases on the counter, and then mumbles:)

Next Customer: “B**** would have IBS.”

Interruption Is Its Own Reward

| Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers

(One of my biggest pet peeves is when customers are on their phones during checkout. So much so, sometimes I don’t even bother asking for their rewards cards.)

Customer: *on the phone and as the receipt is printing out* “What about my rewards card?”

Me: *being passive aggressive, but still being nice* “I’m sorry; I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Refunder Blunder, Part 16

| WA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(It has been an insanely busy Friday in our store. I’m the only manager, so I have spent the last six hours running from one customer to the next, dealing almost exclusively with entitled idiots. This is probably my seventh no-receipt-return of the day.)

Me: “Okay, so you don’t have a receipt? Did you purchase this at our store?”

Customer: “NO. I bought it at the north store.”

Me: “Oh, unfortunately I can’t look up the receipt because our system only tracks transactions for our store.”

(I’m about to elaborate that I can call the other store, but she is glaring at me, and I’m already fed up with her tone.)

Customer: *huffing* “Well, can’t you do merchandise credit? It’s obviously unused.”

Me: “No. I’m sorry, but we still need a receipt for credit or exchang—”

Customer: “WHY NOT?! It’s unused. Look at it, it’s obviously unused. I’m not driving up to the north store just for a receipt.”

Me: *giving up* “Without a receipt we have no proof of purchase.”

Customer: “Well, that’s pretty lame. It’s obviously unused. It’s not my fault you can’t find my receipt.”

Me: “…It’s not our fault we can’t find your receipt.”

(She blinked at me angrily before declaring she would never set foot in our store again. Good.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 15
Refunder Blunder, Part 14
Refunder Blunder, Part 13

Trying To Re-Coup The Coupon

| Westland, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(I am working the return desk at a major department store. We offer a dollar-off coupon for every x amount the customer spends, to be used at a later date. If the customer returns products from the original purchase and the return brings the total under x amount, it makes the dollar off coupon void.)

Me: “Okay, you are going to get $35.76 credited back to your Visa, and it will deactivate your [dollar off coupon].”

Customer: “What do you mean, it will deactivate it?!”

Me: “The coupon will no longer be valid. By returning these items, it drops your purchasing total below x amount, which was what you needed to earn the coupon.”

Customer: “But I had PLANS for that [dollar off coupon]! I was going to buy my daughter new shoes!”

Me: “I apologize for that, ma’am, but I cannot override the system. Once you return products and the total drops below x amount, the coupon is no longer valid.”

Customer: “Well, I still have the coupon right here!” *waves the physical [dollar off coupon] in the air* “I’m not gonna give it to you, so I am just going to take it right up to the register and use it! HA!” *she actually laughed right in my face*

Me: “Well, it actually deactivated electronically, not manually, so the cashier would see that it does not have any balance on it. You can—”

Customer: “But, but… THAT’S NOT FAIR!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if you would like, you can make another purchase, and if that purchase and your old purchase combine to equal more than x amount, I can issue you a new dollar off coupon.”

Customer: “No, no, no! I shouldn’t have to spend more money. I already earned that dollar-off coupon when I made THIS purchase! You are just trying to rip us hard working people off so you can pocket more money! I was going to get my daughter shoes, so I guess you want my daughter to walk around barefoot, looking homeless, and catching some wild disease. You want my daughter to die!”

(She storms off, exiting our store for the rest of the mall, still raving about how I want to kill her child.)

Me: *to my coworker* “Well, if she needed shoes for her daughter that badly, maybe she shouldn’t be purchasing $70 worth of nail polish and fragrance.”

(That customer called to complain to my manager, saying I “threatened the life of her and her child,” and chased her out of the store. Of course, my coworker vouched for me about the threats, but even my manager didn’t believe that I chased her out of the store!)

Giving The French Stick, Part Deux

| Tilbury, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Language & Words

(I am about 18 and working at a sub shop. Two blonde beauties from Quebec come through the door. I live in Ontario and most of the people in my little town speak English; however, I went to French school.)

Me: “Welcome to [Sandwich Shop]. What can I get you?”

Customer #1: *in thick French accent, begins placing her order*

(As I cut the bread and start to prep, I start hearing them talking in French, looking at me but speaking to each other; they didn’t even have the decency to whisper.)

Customer #1: *in French slang* “That girl is so ugly. Look at her clothes.”

Customer #2: “I know. Like, why would she even go out in public?”

(This continues as I make their subs with a big smile on my face. They go on about how they’re worried that my touch will contaminate their food, among other slurs about the province and how much Quebec is better. After paying their total I say in perfectly clear French:)

Me: “Merci d’avoir choisi [Franchise]. J’espère que t’aime ton voyage en Ontario.” *Thank you for choosing [Franchise]. I hope you like your trip to Ontario.*

(Their faces turned white and they quickly exited the store, egos tightly tucked between their legs. I apologized to my mom that night for always giving her trouble about making me go to French school!)

Giving The French Stick

Page 9/284First...7891011...Last