November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Bitter About The Caramel

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work for a well-known coffee chain, and we have our fair share of crazy customers. One morning, a customer storms up to the counter where a relatively new coworker is running the register.)

Customer: “This is wrong! Remake this immediately!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry about that. Can you help me understand what you did want? I see here that we made you a white mocha with caramel.”

Customer: “I came through the drive through and I said I wanted caramel! You didn’t give me f****** caramel!”

Coworker: “I can fix that for you. Would you prefer caramel drizzle or the syrup?”

Customer: “I want caramel!” *she then thrusts the cup at my coworker, sending it skidding across the counter top* “There’s no caramel in my cup!”

Coworker: *opens the cup* “Oh, they put drizzle on here, instead of the syrup. I got you. Just a moment.”

Customer: “If you weren’t so f****** stupid and could do your f****** job right the first f****** time, I wouldn’t have to come back for such a stupid f****** reason!”

(At this point, I’m about to step in despite being tied up at the window, but my coworker bursts into tears and starts sniffling.)

Coworker: “I am genuinely sorry about this. Please, let me fix this for you. It won’t take but a minute—” *she goes to remake the drink, with the customer oddly quiet and hovering at the hand off* “—Here, please, taste this. I want you to be happy with your beverage.”

Customer: *takes the drink, takes a sip, shoves something into my coworker’s hand, and all but runs out the door*

Me: “Are you okay?”

Coworker: *turns to me, her eyes super red, sniffs once, and wrinkles her nose* “My allergies are wreaking havoc on my sinuses and eyes. Can I go take some medicine?”

Me: “You’re sure you’re fine?”

Coworker: *straight out grins* “Absolutely. I got us a five dollar tip! AND I gave her decaf!”

Never Sausage A Thing Before

| UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

Me: “Doesn’t look like these sausages are scanning. Where did you get them from?”

Customer: “In the freezer. I know you can sell them to me. I work for a shop, too, and you can just put the price in and sell them to me.”

Me: *goes to check for a price – no other items, no price, don’t even sell them* “Sorry, I can’t sell these to you. We don’t even sell them! I’m not sure how they got there”

Customer: “No! You can and YOU WILL sell them to me! And you can do it now! Stop wasting my time. I want them and you can sell them”

Me: “I’ve literally never seen these before in my life. I don’t have a price for them. I thought they were new, and they’re not. How am I supposed to sell you what we don’t sell?”

Customer: “Just put the price in and sell them!”

Me: “But, there isn’t a price! Well, fine, how does £2 sound?”

(And that’s the story of how I sold sausages we didn’t even sell, because I “had to sell them and could sell them.”)

A Noteworthy Customer

| Brighton, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(An eccentrically dressed man comes up to my till. I go to scan his items…)

Man: “No, wait! I can’t stand the beeping noise. It disturbs me. Hold on.”

(The man puts his fingers in his ears and nods to me. I scan through his items and he removes his fingers.)

Me: “That’ll be £4.49 please.”

(The man hands me a £10 note and I take a £5 note out of the till to give him as change.)

Man: “Could you check that, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry? What would you like me to check?”

Man: “The £5 note. I need to know it’s real.”

Me: “Um, okay.”

(I take out our note-checking pen and show him that the note is genuine.)

Man: “Thank you. You can’t be too careful can you? The banks like to keep some fake ones in circulation so that the public think there are crime rings everywhere. But there aren’t; it’s just the banks.”

Me: “Ah, I see… Well, you have a nice afternoon, sir.”

Man: “Thank you! And may all your wishes come true!”

Got Yourself Carded

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(After a long shift I decide to purchase some groceries from the supermarket where I work. The woman in front of me has her shopping rung up and presents my newly-trained coworker with a staff discount card. I don’t recognize the woman and assume her to be from another one of our stores.)

Coworker: *has attempted to swipe the discount card three times without success* “Um, just give me a second.”

Woman: “All right.”

Coworker: *she proceeds to swipe it two more times through the till* “Sorry, it doesn’t seem to be working.”

Me: “Let me have a look.” *my coworker hands over the card for my inspection and I’m dumbfounded by what I find* “Madam, this is my card.”

Woman: “No, it’s mine.”

Me: “Madam, I reported this card missing just yesterday. It has my name and employee number on the front.”

Woman: “Ah.” *she proceeds out of the store doing the fastest running walk I have ever seen*

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 45

| Canada | At The Checkout, Money

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to return these pants.”

Me: “No problem. Was there anything wrong with them?”

Customer: “No, they were just the wrong size.”

Me: “Oh, would you like to exchange them for the correct size?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time today.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I process her return. The lady paid credit, which means that it has to go back on the EXACT same card it was paid with.)

Me: “Okay, so you will get [amount] back onto your credit card. I just need to see it to make sure it matches.”

Customer: “Oh, could you tell me which one it was? I have a few.”

Me: “Sure, it was [last for digits of her credit card number].”

Customer: “Oh.” *pulls out card* “This one is cancelled, I thought I lost it.”

Me: *internal sigh* “Sorry, but I have to put it on the same card or I can give you a store credit.”

Customer: “But the card is DEACTIVATED! You cannot put it back on it! I DEMAND MY MONEY BACK!”

Me: “I know, but I have to give you a store credit…”

(She continues to fuss until my manager comes over and give me clearance to put it on her other card as long as her name matches, which it does.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

(She then walks over to the table where the pants she just returned style was and proceeds to dig through the stack there. I go over and ask her if she wants a hand as she is destroying our neat pile. I grab her size out and hand it to her to go try on. She asks if she could leave her many bags of popcorn behind the cash desk since she did not want to hold them while she tried them on.)

Me: “Sure, no problem! Just ask for them when you are leaving!”

(At this point her children are running around the store and have dropped their whole bag of popcorn on our floor. My coworker starts to clean it up while I am cleaning up the pants tables. Her child then goes behind our cash desk to grab more popcorn.)

Me: “Hey! You can’t be behind there!”

Customer’s Kid: “This is my popcorn!”

Me: “You cannot be behind there. You need to get out! If you want your popcorn you need to ask your mom if I can get it for you! But you CANNOT be behind there!”

(The kid finally leaves as his mom comes out of the fitting room and goes to the cash desk with her new pair of pants.)

Me: “Oh, do you have the tags?” *note, all tags, price tag, description, size all have been ripped off. NOT how I gave it to her*

Customer: “No…”

Me: *sigh* “Fine, I’ll go grab another pair.” *grabs the top one from the pile*

Customer: “That’s not my size!”

Me: “I know, but I can look up your size in the computer as long as I have the pant style!”

Customer: “OKAY.”

Me: “All right, your total is [Total].” *cheaper then the pair she returned as these went on sale*

Customer: “Oh, could I have another pair?”

Me: *thinking because it’s cheaper she wants two* “Sure!” *gets a new pair* “Okay, so your price is [double].”

Customer: “What? I don’t want both. I just want this one!” *the new one*

Me: “They are the same pair.”

Customer: “Yes, but this one is cleaner!”

Me: “YOU ripped all the tags off in the fitting room!”

Customer: “I want the cleaner pair!”

Me: *just wanting to get rid of her by this point* “Fine! Your total is [total].”

Customer: “On credit.” *holds up same card she got the refund on*

Me: “Okay, insert when ready.” *customer’s card is declined* “Do you have money on the card?

Customer: “Yes, I just did a return.”

Me: “It takes up to three business days for a return on a credit card to process.”

Customer: “Okay, try my other card.”

(I try her other credit card, it declines too. Finally she decides to pay debit, and that declines too!!)

Customer: “Okay, I’ll just come back another day.”

(Needless to say we were all happy when she left.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 42