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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Number Of The Beastly Coincidences

    | Uckfield, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Holidays, Money

    (I work in a small corner shop. It is Halloween and we’ve been busy on-and-off with kids making their way around the estate and trick-or-treating, and coming in to buy drinks. I’m approached by a kid I estimate to be in his early teens.)

    Me: “Hey, kiddo! Having fun?”

    Kid: “Yeah, not a bad haul so far. Just a bit thirsty; nobody hands out drinks!”

    Me: “No, I suppose they’re bulkier and more expensive, too.”

    Kid: “Yeah you’re probably right and th—” *sees the total on my screen* “Aww £6.67? Come ON! Could you give me a penny discount?”

    Me: “Er….

    Kid: “Guess my maths isn’t as good as I thought. I wanted it to be £6.66 for Halloween!”

    Me: “Well, I’m not authorised to give discount unless the items are damaged but [Similar Drinks] are a penny cheaper so you could swap out one of your [Original Items] if it really bothers you that much?”

    Kid: “Yes, please! One sec while I take this back and swap it!”

    (By this point there’s a small queue and the boy’s friends, who are waiting outside and clearly can’t hear what he’s doing but see him sprint back to the fridges, yell through the door for him to hurry up.)

    Me: “Okay, buddy! That’s now £6.66.”

    Kid: “Thanks! Can I get a receipt?”

    Me: “Sure, have a good Halloween!”

    (As the kid approaches the door he starts waving his receipt at his friends.)

    Kid: “Guys! GUYS! LOOK! Weirdest coincidence ever! I just grabbed some random drinks and the total was £6.66. How spooky is that?!”

    (The customer behind him turned to me and just raised her eyebrows!)

    The New Job Is Very Loki

    | Oneonta, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (I have been working at the store for a few months. I haven’t had the funds for a haircut, thus my hair is fairly long. I also am sporting a full beard. A couple and their young son come to my register and I ring them up.)

    Me: “That’ll be [total].”

    Child: *who has been staring at me* “Um… excuse me…”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Child: “Are you Thor?”

    Me: *trying not to crack* “Yes, son, I am. I’m actually on an undercover mission from my father, Odin, hunting for Loki. He may be in disguise. Let me know if you see him, all right?”

    Child: “YES, I WILL! WOW! WAIT UNTIL I TELL EVERYONE AT SCHOOL I MET THOR!”

    (It was the highlight of that job. I kept the Thor voice the whole time and his parents gave me the most grateful smiles!)

    A Thought For Your Pennies

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m a pharmacy tech working the drive thru. An older customer pulls up, and we go through getting her prescriptions.)

    Me: “Okay, your total will be $67.29.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (I go and grab her prescriptions from our waiting bin and come back to finish the transaction.)

    Customer: “Was that $68?”

    Me: “$67.29.”

    Customer: “$67.34?”

    Me: *now trying to not laugh* “$67.29″

    Customer: “Oh, 29.”

    (I looked back at my pharmacist and he’s trying to not crack up while in view of the customer. I finish the transaction and close the window.)

    Pharmacist: “Where on earth did she get 34 from?!”

    Must Have Really Needed That Food

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m working the drive thru this particular day, I have just handed a customer the last of her order and she seems a bit distracted by getting it all stowed away safely.)

    Me: “Have a lovely day.”

    Customer: “I love you, too.” *drives off*

    Keep All Your Baggage At Home

    | England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I am working on the tills next to my colleague. He has just finished ringing everything up for the customer. At this point we offer bags to customers to try and cut down on the amount we use.)

    Colleague: “That will be [total]. Would you like a bag?”

    Customer: “No, thanks. I’ve got one at home!”

    (After the customer paid and left, we just looked at each other trying not to laugh.)

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