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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    More Taxing To Some People

    | Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (A customer brings a pack of gum to the counter. The MSRP, 69 cents, is printed on it.)

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be 75 cents.”

    Customer: *practically yelling* “No, it says 69 cents right here!”

    Me: “Yes, and sales tax makes it 75.”

    Customer: “Tax is 8 cents to a dollar, and this is less than a dollar, so there isn’t supposed to be any tax on it!”

    Me: “That’s… that’s not how sales tax works…”

    (He left without buying the gum.)

    Making Universal University Assumptions

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, School

    (I am in college and working full-time as the receptionist for a car repair shop to pay my way. Because I don’t always have customers calling or coming in, the management allows me to bring my homework with me, provided I can put it down immediately when someone phones or comes in. I am 21 and look very young for my age. One older customer walks in and looks down at the book on the desk while I’m pulling her file.)

    Customer: “Does your teacher know you’re skipping class?”

    Me: “Well… this is just my homework. Now, about your car—”

    Customer: “What? High schools don’t have class at night. Is it even legal for you to be here?”

    Me: “Actually, I’m in college. I’m 21; I just look a lot younger than I am.”

    Customer: “Do not lie to me, young lady. You should be ashamed of yourself. Skipping class and lying. Does your manager know this?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I’m not in high school. And I’m working on my schoolwork here, so I’m obviously not trying to ditch schoolwork. Now, if I can get you to sign these papers here, we’ll get the estimator to come and—”

    Customer: “Nonsense! You’re just trying to get out of responsibility, and now that I’ve caught you, you’re trying to distract me by talking about my car! You young people dropping out of school is what is causing the economy issues we’re having!”

    (I quietly flip over the book to show her the cover, which lists the state university name, as well as a college-level class name.)

    Customer: “What forms did you need me to fill out?”

    Needs More Self-Help Than Self-Checkout

    | Tucson, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

    (I’m a customer at the grocery store using the self-check out. Another customer and his wife approach the self-check out when the husband suddenly stops and turns to his wife.)

    Customer: “I’m not using self-check out! Those machines are smarter than I am!”

    Paying Caesar’s Things Back To Caesar

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

    Customer: “Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?”

    Me: “Nope. Your total is $7.00.”

    Customer: “I don’t pay non-believers.”

    Me: “Well, it’s a good thing you’re paying [Delivery Company], then.”

    Customer: “Do you know any commandments, you Satan worshipper?”

    Me: “Thou Shalt Not Steal. Seven dollars, please.”

    (Then he threw a $10 on the counter and left. Three bucks for Satan!)

    Some Customers Really Need To Change

    | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I work as a cashier in a small grocery store. An older woman comes to my register with two gallons of milk and some bread.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total comes to $10.08.”

    Customer: “I only have ten dollars!” *waves a ten dollar bill in my face*

    Me: “You know what? I’ll just pay the difference for you, since you’re a regular.”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (I take a quarter out of my pocket, complete the transaction, drop the change in my pocket, and hand her the milk.)

    Me: “Have a great day, ma’am!”

    Customer: “Where is my change? The screen says my change is 17 cents.”

    Me: “Well, since I used a quarter to pay just the eight cents I took the rest of the change back.”

    Customer: “You should give it to me! You’re stealing from me, you little b****! Let me talk to your manager!”

    (She continues to yell at me and my manager for a few minutes, calling us evil thieves.)

    Manager: “No one is stealing from you, ma’am. She didn’t even need to pay the difference on your total.”

    Customer: “I’m never coming back here again!”

    (She storms out.)

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