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  • Raise A Broken Glass To That Employee
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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    A Hypocritical Environment

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout

    Customer: “I’m checking to see if you have [environmentalist book].”

    Me: “Hmmm… no, sorry, not at the moment.”

    Customer: “Okay, then how about [other environmentalist book]?”

    Me: “Yes, we do have that one!”

    Customer: “Great! I’m an AP environmental studies teacher.”

    Me: “Awesome!”

    (I ring up the purchase. The credit card machine is acting sluggish, so to kill time I ask her this question though I’m sure the answer will be no.)

    Me: “Need a bag for that?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…”

    With No Bacon, Comes No Responsibility

    , | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I work at a burger joint. I’m working on making burgers, when a woman marches up and tosses her burger on the counter. I look up from my work as one of my coworkers moves over to her.)

    Coworker: “Is there a problem, ma,am?”

    Woman: “Yes, I ordered a bacon double cheeseburger. This doesn’t have bacon.”

    (I know for a fact it does, as I was the one who made it. I also noticed she un-wrapped it, but didn’t bite into it or take it apart. My coworker signals for me, and I walk over.)

    Me: “I’m sorry; I’m the one who made this. I’m sure I included bacon. Could you please check?”

    (We do this so customers can’t complain if we handle their food after it’s already been made and given to them.)

    Woman: *sigh* “Isn’t that your job?”

    Me: “So you’re giving me permission to re-handle your food?”

    Woman: “What do you think?!”

    Me: “All right.”

    (I open the burger up, and sure enough, there’s bacon there.)

    Woman: “I want to see your manager.”

    Me: “Sure, but may I ask why?”

    Woman: “You ruined my burger; you shouldn’t have taken it apart to show me the bacon.”

    Me: “…I’ll go get her now.”

    (I got an official write-up for this! I’m sorry I was supposed to give customers x-ray vision, and have it myself.)

    That Benefit Went Straight Down The Faucet

    | Rio Rancho, NM, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (I work at a home improvement store. A customer has picked out a faucet.)

    Me: “Great! We have that exact one in stock. While I set up this order, I will have someone go get it from the warehouse for you!”

    Customer: “That’s perfect! What do I owe?”

    Me: “$103.00. That can be cash, check, or card.”

    Customer: *hands me a card*

    Me: “Uhm. This is a EBT card.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I know.”

    Me: “Uhm, food stamps only work on food and necessities. Did you mean to give me a credit or debit?”

    Customer: “No, just charge the card I gave you.”

    Me: “Uhm, ma’am, I cannot do that. This is a state issued EBT card. It’s not meant to be used for household fixtures, just food and some basic supplies. My computer won’t even accept it if I did enter the information.”

    Customer: “I want it charged to that card! That is why I gave you that card!”

    Me: “I understand that; however, that is not how these cards work.”

    Customer: “Well, why not?”

    Me: “Because the state issues them for families who cannot afford food, water, formula, or other needs. But it has to be for a need that is basic to supporting life, not things like faucets or even clothes.”

    Customer: “But I NEED a new faucet.”

    Me: “Well, if you are renting, the owner of the property should be the own who replaces it. If you own your residence, I can ring this up with cash, check, or a bank issued card.”

    Customer: “Just swipe the card I gave you!”

    Me: “This is a state issued food stamp card. I cannot.”

    Customer: “This is discrimination because you think I am poor!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I do not judge based on how much money a customer happens to have. However, I can refuse forms of payment that either do not work, will not work, or are illegal to attempt to use.”

    Customer: “Illegal? Now you don’t think I am American!”

    Me: “What? I said forms of payment that are illegal to use.”

    Customer: “You are calling me an illegal!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I cannot help you. Nor can I sell you this with the payment you offered me. You can either give me a legal, bank issued form of payment or not buy from this store.”

    Customer: “How dare you!” *flounces out*

    Meat Her Halfway

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I’m working the self-scan machines. A grandfather comes by with his granddaughter in the seat of the shopping cart. He takes a pack of cookies from the nearby shelf and gives them to her.)

    Grandfather: “Okay, honey, what should we get next?”

    Granddaughter: “MEAT!”

    Me: *chuckling* “I guess she’s a little carnivore, huh?”

    Grandfather: *also laughing* “Well, her mom’s a vegetarian so I can’t really give her meat.”

    Granddaughter: *bouncing in the seat with a big smile* “MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT!”

    Me: “I don’t think she’s a vegetarian, sir.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 41

    | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’m a cashier at a grocery store. I’ve just run up this customer’s items and she slides a card through the EFTPOS. I get a ‘do not honor’ error on my screen. For whatever reason, sometimes our machines give us this error if someone enters the wrong PIN.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Could you try that again, please?”

    (She slides it through again and I see she’s selecting credit, not debit, so it can’t be the incorrect PIN. I get the error message again.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but it’s not going through. Do you have another form of payment?”

    Customer: “Oh, sure!”

    (She turns to her husband, who dutifully spreads out like a deck of cards at least 15 credit and debit cards. I stare, mouth agape, as she carefully chooses one and slides it through.)

    Me: “Uh… well, that one worked.”

    Customer: *laughs* “Of course it did! When you run out of money on one, you just move on to the next card in line!”

    (Her husband nods and they gather up their groceries. The next customer comes up and shakes her head.)

    Customer #2: “I feel sorry for the poor card rep who’ll have to explain to those idiots that money isn’t free when they’re $300,000 in debt.”

    Me: “Amen, sister.”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38

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