October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Not That Kind Of Store

| Sweden | At The Checkout, Funny Names, Health & Body

(I’m a female pharmacist finishing up business with a male customer:)

Customer: “Oh, I’d also like a woman; can you please get me one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

Customer: “I want a woman, the cheap kind!”

(He looks at me dead serious.)

Me: “I’m not quite sure I understand…”

Customer: *slower* “I want a woman! But it has to be the cheap kind.”

(I keep looking at him in complete disbelief.)

Customer: *sighs* “How hard can it be? My wife asked me to get her one box of woman or whatever they are called. Where do you keep it? I can get it myself if you tell me where I can find it.”

Me: “Oh… you must mean the multi-vitamin. Wait, I’ll get it for you.”

Customer: *yells after me* “It has to be the cheap kind!”

(We have two kinds of multi-vitamin pill intended for women and both are labeled WOMAN. Apparently that was what he wanted.)

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 9

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I’ve just started scanning a customer’s purchases, which are coming at me on a belt from the left, when an older woman approaches me from the right – the bagging area.)

Woman: *holding newspaper and money* “I just want a paper.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ve already begun scanning this customer’s purchases. I can’t ring you up until this transaction is complete.”

Woman: *twitches her offerings at me* “But I just want the newspaper! Can’t you scan it quick?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’ve already begun this person’s transaction and cannot start a new one now. If you step behind her in line, I can ring up your purchase next.”

Woman: *grumbling and stepping into line* “Well, SOME stores let you just do it quick…”

(She keeps mumbling to herself as I scan the first woman’s items, and addresses me a few seconds later:)

Woman: “It’s true, some stores WILL just do it quick…”

Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve already explained, I cannot void an ongoing transaction. This customer was here before you, and I had already started when you walked up.”

Woman: *points rudely at customer I’m still ringing up* “So what you’re telling me is that if I had gotten here before her, you would have rang me up first?”

Me: *still cool as a cucumber* “Yes, ma’am. That’s generally how lines work.”

(She was dead silent as I rang up her paper, and left without her receipt. I’m glad I could provide her with such an important teaching moment, as she seems to have missed when it was given in kindergarten!)

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 8
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 7
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 6

Taste Of Your Own Fast Acting Medicine

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

Customer: “I want a number-one-medium-with-a-coke-and-a-large-frosty-with-a-kids-meal-chicken-nuggets-and-apple-slices-and-orange-juice—”

Me: “M—”

Customer: “—also-a-number-seven-with-a-diet-coke-large-and-an-apple-salad.”

(Fortunately I am able to type all of that in and keep up with her despite that and speak it back to her just as fast as she had said it.)

Me: Okay…so you want a number-one-medium-with-a-coke-and-a-large-frosty-with-a-kids-meal-chicken-nuggets-and-apple-slices-and-orange-juicealso-a-number-seven-with-a-diet-coke-large-and-an-apple-salad?”

Customer: “Wait… what?”

Pepsi Max-imum Idiot

| Macomb, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

Customer: “Um, excuse me. I was rung up wrong. These cases of pop are supposed to be 3 for $12.”

Manager: “Ma’am, only Coke products have that deal.”


Manager: “Pepsi isn’t a Coke product.”

New Sales Announced On Wikileaks

| Norway | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(A customer is looking at a particular item, and wants to know the price.)

Me: “That’s 99 kroner.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s a bit pricey I think..”

Me: “It’s a secret but I’ll tell you. This item is coming on half price on Monday, you could come back and make a good deal on it.”

(The customer starts looking around and acting like I just told her a national secret wondering if anybody else heard it.)

Customer: “Okay, thank you! WHOOPS!” *whispers* “T-thank you!”

(She ran out before I could say anything else.)

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