November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

This Conversation Has A Beautiful Final Destination

| UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

Customer: “I’d like to go to [Destination #1] today, then on to [Destination #2] tonight, then back here tomorrow.”

(I know that in order to get from Destination #1 to Destination #2, the customer will have to come back through here, so I sell her a here-to-Destination #1 return and a here-to-Destination #2 return.)

Customer: “Excuse me; this isn’t what I asked for!”

Me: “Sure it is, that will get you to [Destination #1] today, [Destination #2] tonight, and back to here tomorrow.”

Customer: “No! I wanted a single to [Destination #1] and then a [Destination #1] to [Destination #2] return! This is disgraceful customer service. You are useless at your job. You ought to be f***ing fired because you can’t even listen to what people want! You need re-training so you learn not to sell the wrong tickets and waste honest people’s money! How much have you overcharged me, so I can let your manager know how you’ve f***ing stolen from me!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I’ve saved you £26.”

(The customer was left gaping while every other customer in the queue who’d heard every word started laughing at her. It was the most beautiful moment in my working life so far.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 17

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I’m on line at Customer Service after work because, like an idiot, I forgot to take out my $3 off coupon at the register. In order to get an extra discount, either from an employee card or coupon, you have to return and re-buy the item so the system knows where the money is going and why. A man two people ahead of me is trying to get money back on a shirt that recently went on clearance. I’m a little late in the conversation so he’s already throwing a fit.)

Customer #1: “I want a manager. This is ridiculous that I have to return an item just to buy it back. Just for $2. Why can’t you just give me the two bucks?”

(The customer service representative isn’t even answering back at this point.)

Customer #1: “Are you going to get me the manager or not?”

(The customer service representative quietly leaves, not really giving the impression that he’s going to find someone. Wrong move, but then again, the manager would just be saying the same thing.)

Customer #1: *turns to the lady in front of me* “He’s not getting anyone is he? These stupid people.”

Customer #2: “I know.”

Customer #1: “Why the h*** would I return an item just to buy it back? Is it really too difficult just to give me the two dollars back? Jesus.”

Customer #2: “I know. I agree.”

(Customer #1 decides to just return the shirt because he doesn’t want to bother re-buying it and walks off in a bad mood. I finally get to the register after 10 minutes with the same cashier as he was with.)

Me: *I have my receipt and coupon out and take out the two items from the bag* “I forgot to use my coupon at the register for these vitamins.”

Cashier: “Sure.” *checks the receipt* “And I’ll need your discount card.”

Me: “Okay.”

(She scans the receipt and the items. I sign the return receipt. Then she scans the items again with the coupon and employee discount card and gives me the $3 difference. The whole exchange takes maybe under one minute.)

Me: “How the h*** was this too difficult?”

Refunder Blunder, Part 16
Refunder Blunder, Part 15
Refunder Blunder, Part 14

Most People At The Checkout Have Already Checked Out

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Spouses & Partners

(A very friendly couple come up to my jewelry counter and pick out an anniversary piece for the wife. As I’m preparing her necklace, they pass the time by looking through one of the other nearby jewelry cases.)

Wife: *to husband* “What do you think about that pearl necklace, honey?”

Husband: “I don’t know; I wouldn’t be the one wearing it. You said I’m not allowed to wear your pearls anymore.”

Wife: “No, I said you’re not allowed to wear my underwear anymore.”

Husband: *to me* “Never a dull moment in our house.”

Wife: *to me* “We’re just joking, of course.”

Me: “You’d be surprised how many kinds of people come through here, ma’am…”

Not Paid Enough Peanuts For This

| Aurora, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(Our store has a decent-sized bulk section where customers can get whatever amount of certain products and pay for them by weight. Each bin in the bulk section has a clearly marked PLU number, as well as pens and tags available for the customer to write down the number so the cashier knows what they are buying. One day a woman comes into my line with a bag of peanuts from the bulk section. We have at least half a dozen different types of peanuts, and I can’t tell which kind these are by looking at them.)

Me: *sets the bag on the scale and looks for a tag* “I’m sorry ma’am, did you happen to get the PLU code for these?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay… Um… Do you know what kind of peanuts they are?”

Customer: “No, I don’t. Just ring me up already!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t ring them up without the PLU code. Do you at least know how much they were? I can put them in by the price.”

Customer: “NO!” *picks up the bag and throws them at me* “I DON’T WANT THEM!” *storms out angrily*

Me: *blinks*

Supervisor: *walks up to me* “Are you okay? What just happened?”

(I told her, and she was as shocked as I was. The real kicker? I have a SEVERE peanut allergy!)

Bitter About The Caramel

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work for a well-known coffee chain, and we have our fair share of crazy customers. One morning, a customer storms up to the counter where a relatively new coworker is running the register.)

Customer: “This is wrong! Remake this immediately!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry about that. Can you help me understand what you did want? I see here that we made you a white mocha with caramel.”

Customer: “I came through the drive through and I said I wanted caramel! You didn’t give me f****** caramel!”

Coworker: “I can fix that for you. Would you prefer caramel drizzle or the syrup?”

Customer: “I want caramel!” *she then thrusts the cup at my coworker, sending it skidding across the counter top* “There’s no caramel in my cup!”

Coworker: *opens the cup* “Oh, they put drizzle on here, instead of the syrup. I got you. Just a moment.”

Customer: “If you weren’t so f****** stupid and could do your f****** job right the first f****** time, I wouldn’t have to come back for such a stupid f****** reason!”

(At this point, I’m about to step in despite being tied up at the window, but my coworker bursts into tears and starts sniffling.)

Coworker: “I am genuinely sorry about this. Please, let me fix this for you. It won’t take but a minute—” *she goes to remake the drink, with the customer oddly quiet and hovering at the hand off* “—Here, please, taste this. I want you to be happy with your beverage.”

Customer: *takes the drink, takes a sip, shoves something into my coworker’s hand, and all but runs out the door*

Me: “Are you okay?”

Coworker: *turns to me, her eyes super red, sniffs once, and wrinkles her nose* “My allergies are wreaking havoc on my sinuses and eyes. Can I go take some medicine?”

Me: “You’re sure you’re fine?”

Coworker: *straight out grins* “Absolutely. I got us a five dollar tip! AND I gave her decaf!”