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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Sexy Money

    | Sweden | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Money, Rude & Risque

    (The Swedish word for the number six is ‘sex.’ The cashier is just about to charge an elderly couple for their groceries.)

    Cashier: “That’s 106 kronor.”

    (The old man hands him a 100 kronor bill.)

    Cashier: “I need six kronor more.”

    Old Man: *to cashier* “What did you say?”

    Old Woman: “He said he wanted sex.”

    Cashier: *getting red but trying to smile* “Six kronor more.”

    Old Man: “What?”

    Old Woman: *loudly* “He said he wants sex!”

    (Both the queue behind them and the queue for the other register go silent and stare.)

    Cashier: *loudly* “Kronor!”

    Old Man: *loudly* “Speak up woman!”

    Old Woman: *almost screaming* “THE CASHIER WANTS SEX FROM YOU!”

    Cashier: *screaming* “SIX KRONOR!”

    Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 3

    | MA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for a popular pharmacy/retail chain. We have a rewards card that can be linked to a customer’s online account or their mobile app that gives them the ability to send coupons directly to their card electronically, eliminating the need for paper coupons. The customer simply scans their card at check out and their coupons will appear to me, the cashier, and I can put them in right from there.)

    Customer: “I was supposed to have a 25% coupon on there.”

    (No coupon popped up at the end of the transaction, meaning the coupon either expired, or she did not complete the sending process.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but a coupon didn’t pop up.”

    Customer: *exasperated sigh, giving me a look of disgust* “Well, that SUCKS.”

    Me: “I know, Sorry about that. The new coupon system can be a pain in the neck. Do you have the coupon anywhere I can see so I can—”

    Customer: *cutting me off in a very rude tone* “You know what? Just take it! This f****** sucks!”

    (The customer then flung the nail polish at my chest and stormed out of the store!)

    Related:
    Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 2
    Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount

    Human Kindness Is A Simple Formula

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

    (A couple with a small child comes up to my register with a WIC transaction, which goes through without a problem until…)

    Me: “I am sorry but your formula didn’t go through.”

    (The couple is buying nine containers of formula at around $18 each.)

    Mother: What? Let me see.

    (I show them the slip and the starting balance, which shows no formula was offered through the program.)

    Father: “Great… and it’s Sunday so we can’t call them. Well, take off all but one and we’ll talk to them tomorrow.”

    (I nod and take allow them to purchase just the one can of formula with the rest of their items.)

    Me: “I’m sorry about that but h—”

    (At this moment the next customers in line, both 20ish year old females cut in.)

    Female #1: *handing me $20* “I’ll buy one of them.”

    Mother: *shocked* “Y… you don’t have—”

    Female #2: *doing the same* “We had parents that were just like you; please allow us to help.”

    Mother: *nearly to tears* “N… no, please don’t.”

    (Eventually, the pair got the mother to the accept the gifts, and when the pair was done with their regular purchases, I still couldn’t believe what happened and that there were still people who believed in the simple formula of human kindness!)

    Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (A couple of weeks ago the bicycle that I had owned since I was eight years old was stolen, right outside my shop. I was at work at the time and the CCTV we have can’t pin the culprit as he was in a blind spot. The police have been as unsuccessful as well. As my only method of transport, I have to go by foot which takes 40 minutes. I’m behind the counter one day, when…)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can I park my bicycle in here? Some guy got his stolen the other week so I don’t want to take any chances.”

    Me: “Sure, just park it up by the counter and I’ll—”

    (Before I can finish, the customer brings the cycle — MY CYCLE — in and rests it against the counter.)

    Me: “—k-keep an eye on it for you.”

    (The second the customer turns around the corner, I’m on the phone to my manager to ring the police. When he comes out of the office he notices the cycle and is just as baffled as me.)

    Manager: “What’s going on here?”

    Me: “A gentlemen just came in with this. He’s gone into the produce aisle but I’m certain that he’s the thief.”

    Manager: “Right. You stay here. I’ll speak to him.”

    (Without another word, my now-furious manager had rounded the corner and gone to have a word with the gentlemen in question. Not a second later I could hear swearing at the top of the gentlemen’s lungs as he came running down the same aisle and reached for my bike. My instinct kicked in and I held on to the back wheel as much as I could as he shouted for me to ‘f*****g let go’. He gave up sooner than anticipated as my manager charged at him, so he sprinted for the door. However, the police were waiting outside for him, and in a flurry of swearwords the crook was brought to the ground and arrested there and then. How did I know it was my bicycle? The dingus had forgotten to remove my water bottle which was attached to the frame and had my name on it! I guess crime doesn’t pay!)

    Don’t Lose Shut-Eye Over A Bad Eye

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Health & Body

    (I’m considered legally blind. I can see, but not well enough to drive, etc. I also have to look very closely when reading, especially small print. It’s something I was born with, so now at age 24 I joke around about it, even with customers, unless, like this guy, you’re a d***head. His credit card won’t read so I’m keying in the numbers manually, and he notices how closely I’m reading.)

    Customer: “I’m surprised they let you work the cash.”

    Me: “They’ve even made me a cashier supervisor, but why do you say that?”

    Customer: “Well, you know, because of your eyes.”

    Me: “What about them?”

    Customer: “Well you have to look so close.”

    Me: “And this is a problem?”

    Customer: “Well… umm…”

    Me: “Tell you what, if you ever see me driving a forklift in the store, then you can comment about my eyes. Until then, don’t lose any sleep over it.”

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