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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    A Thought For Your Pennies

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m a pharmacy tech working the drive thru. An older customer pulls up, and we go through getting her prescriptions.)

    Me: “Okay, your total will be $67.29.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (I go and grab her prescriptions from our waiting bin and come back to finish the transaction.)

    Customer: “Was that $68?”

    Me: “$67.29.”

    Customer: “$67.34?”

    Me: *now trying to not laugh* “$67.29″

    Customer: “Oh, 29.”

    (I looked back at my pharmacist and he’s trying to not crack up while in view of the customer. I finish the transaction and close the window.)

    Pharmacist: “Where on earth did she get 34 from?!”

    Must Have Really Needed That Food

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m working the drive thru this particular day, I have just handed a customer the last of her order and she seems a bit distracted by getting it all stowed away safely.)

    Me: “Have a lovely day.”

    Customer: “I love you, too.” *drives off*

    Keep All Your Baggage At Home

    | England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I am working on the tills next to my colleague. He has just finished ringing everything up for the customer. At this point we offer bags to customers to try and cut down on the amount we use.)

    Colleague: “That will be [total]. Would you like a bag?”

    Customer: “No, thanks. I’ve got one at home!”

    (After the customer paid and left, we just looked at each other trying not to laugh.)

    Unbelievable To Unrecieptable

    | Germany | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

    (During a change of shifts we are required to count the till. Unfortunately, there is a major technical problem with it at the end of my shift. As my coworker and I try to resolve the issue, a customer walks in. In front of us is a huge mess of receipts and an empty register drawer, while we ruffle our hair and write calculations down on pieces of paper. I’d consider it obvious that something is wrong.)

    Me: “Hi, there. I’m terribly sorry, but the till is broken at the moment. Is there anything I can do for you that doesn’t require a transaction?”

    Customer: *smiling understandingly* “Oh, I just need to pay for gas.”

    (I look at the pump’s registry. The customer owes us €20 flat.)

    Me: “Oh, now that’s convenient. That’s 20 exactly, so tell you what: If you have the proper amount on you and don’t need a receipt, you can just pay and be on your merry way while we try to sort this out. How does that sound?”

    Customer: *still friendly* “Hmm, that’s a pity. I need a receipt.”

    Me: “Well, I wouldn’t want you to wait longer than you really need to, so how about I write one by hand?”

    Customer: “No, that won’t do. I don’t like those. I’d prefer one printed by a machine.”

    Me: “All right… I’m very sorry, but in that case I will have to ask you to wait. If you change your mind, please don’t hesitate to tell us.”

    (She nods and strolls around the store for a bit as my coworker and I finally try one last thing – successfully. At least I can log on again. At this point, the customer has been waiting for about 2-3 minutes, tops. I put in the empty drawer and flash the biggest smile I can muster.)

    Me: “Again, I apologize for the delay, but at least we can take care of you now. Okay, that’ll be €20 exactly, please.”

    (As I say this, the customer slams the money down on the counter and gives me a death glare.)

    Customer: “Ridiculous! You should be ashamed, keeping me waiting like this! This was the worst service I have ever gotten!”

    (She curses under her breath as she leaves. Without her receipt.)

    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 12

    | Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’ll have the melt, please.”

    Me: “Okay! Would you like it toasted?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Would you like the bacon heated up?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want bacon.”

    Me: “Oh, well, in that case I—”

    Customer: “Wait, how do you normally do the melt?”

    Me: “Well, since you don’t want bacon it’s—”

    Customer: *irritated* “No, no, no. Just forget about the bacon. How do you normally do it?”

    Me: “Um… put it in the toaster, but—”

    Customer: “Then put it in the toaster!”

    (Giving up on him listening to me, I comply.)

    Customer: *to next customer in line* “You’d think they don’t speak English here.”

    (The funny part is that I was trying to tell him that without bacon, his sandwich became a different kind, which was a dollar cheaper. Since he decided to be a jerk and cut me off, he probably told the cashier he’d gotten a melt, and paid for bacon that he never got!)

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    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 7
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 6
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 5
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 4
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 3
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 2
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility

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