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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 3

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (I’m in high school, and work at my father’s pharmacy during the summer. One day a woman who looks to be in her mid-twenties rushes up to my line, cutting several people. She dumps multiple boxes of prescription medication on the counter, as well as about $50 worth of make-up, hair dye, and jewelry.)

    Customer: “I’m the owner’s daughter, so I get all this stuff for free, okay?”

    Me: “Ma’am, please get to the back of the line.”

    Customer: “For the love of God, just ring me up! I’m the owner’s daughter! I don’t have time to wait!”

    Me: “You’re the owner’s daughter?”

    Customer: “Yes! What are you, f****** deaf? Just f****** ring my stuff up so it won’t set off the alarm!”

    Me: “Wow, that’s such a coincidence.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: *smiling widely*I’m the owner’s daughter, too!”

    (The customer stared at me for a second, then turned beet red and ran out of the store, leaving her items on the counter. She hasn’t been back since!)

    Related:
    Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 2
    Lying Is All Relative(s)

    Shouldn’t Spit Out Those Words

    , | Bloomington, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (We have posted signs on our doors stating that our lobby would be closing for a manager’s meeting two hours earlier than usual. Three college-age boys come in at about twenty minutes till close, clearly oblivious. My manager is the one to ring up their food, and the following exchange ensues:)

    Manager: “All right, and I have to tell you, our lobby will be closing in about twenty minutes for the managers to have a meeting.”

    Customer: “Wow! What d***s!”

    Manager: “Well, technically I’m a manager, so. . . .”

    (The customer immediately goes white, then red.)

    Customer: “I am SO sorry!!! …Please don’t spit in my food!”

    Manager: “I mean, you can literally watch us make it, so. . .”

    Customer: “I’m sorry!”

    Taking Time To Appreciate Good Customers

    | Tartu, Estonia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

    (A nice young woman my age comes into the fast food restaurant and orders a less commonly selected item. I have to go into the back of the store to get the ingredients because whatever coworker had made this item before hadn’t restocked the ingredients on the line.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry about the wait. I’ll try to make your item as fast as possible.”

    Customer: “No worries; it’s actually for my boss.”

    Me: “Oh, okay.”

    Customer: “Actually, the longer you take to make her lunch the less time I have to spend working.”

    Me: “That’s interesting, because you’re a nice customer and the longer I spend making your item the less time I have to deal with rude customers.”

    (Long story short, an item that should have taken me about five minutes took about fifteen minutes.)

    Only Has Half A Brain

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (I work at a store that also sells plants and flowers in the spring and summer. A customer comes to my till and brings me three packages of flowers that are always packaged in packs of twelve. I scan all three of them.)

    Customer: “How much are the yellow ones?”

    Me: “They are $5, ma’am.”

    Customer: “But that’s the regular price for twelve of them. I only need six; that’s why I only brought half the package.”

    Me: “So you broke a package of twelve in half because you only want six? Unfortunately, we only sell them in packages of twelve, so even if you only get half of it, there is only one barcode I can scan… and it comes up to 5.97.”

    Customer: *sighs loudly* “BUT I ONLY NEED SIX! Get your manager out here. He needs to have a barcode you can scan for only half of these flowers. Or give me half off because I’m not buying twelve. I only need six.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sure they don’t have a barcode for something that is sold as a package of twelve but I’ll get someone to verify that.”

    (I go to another cashier and ask, in front of the customer, if there is anything we can do for her.)

    Other Cashier: “Unfortunately they are sold in packages of twelve. We can’t sell half of them to you and sell it for half price simply because you don’t need the other six.”

    Customer: “This is absolutely ridiculous. I’m forced to pay for something I don’t need. Forget it, I don’t want them at all.”

    Really Needs Their Breakfast

    | Mesa, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    Coworker: “Hello, welcome to [Fast Food Place]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I would like two breakfast burritos.”

    Coworker: “Did you want sausage or bacon?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Coworker: “Sausage or bacon?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Coworker: “Did you want your breakfast burritos with bacon or sausage?”

    Customer: “Sausage.”

    Coworker: “Anything else I can get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Coworker: “Okay and what else can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Coworker: “Okay… that will be [total] for the breakfast burritos.”

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