Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

The Power Of One

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I work as front of house staff at a theater with multiple performance spaces. On this night we have three sold out shows in our building and an incredibly high volume of patrons in line for the box office and in line to get their tickets scanned. I am the only person scanning tickets at this point and I have developed a cluster of patrons around me, plus many more behind them. I realize that to proceed efficiently, I need more organization. I address my patron cluster:)

Me: “It will really help me out if everyone can form one line please!”

Woman In The Cluster: *as though this never would have occurred to her* “OH! Because you’re only one person!”

Me: “…exactly.”

Deaf To Reason, Part 4

| Mississauga, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

(I am a cashier at a home improvement retail store, and an old lady comes up to my till holding a few cleaning supplies.)

Me: Hi! How are you today?”

Customer: *no answer*

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: *no answer*

Me: “Okay, your total comes to $17.36. Will that be on your store credit card?”

Customer: *no answer, inserts card into reader and enters pin*

Me: *hands her her receipt* “Thanks a lot! Have a good day!”

Customer: “D*** kids! You could have at least said something. Isn’t it your job to make conversation with the customer? So rude!”

Me: “I did. I asked you how you were doing, I asked if your purchase will be on our credit card, and I hoped you have a good day.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that? I’m as deaf as anything!”

Me: *getting annoyed because of the lineup forming behind her* “You just heard what I said, ma’am. Have a good day.”

Customer: “Well, I never! I’m going to get your rude a** fired!”

Me: All right. You have a nice day, too.

(The next customer walks up.)

Next Customer: “Hi. I was wondering if you could charge me for a pack of toilet paper? That lady spread BS all over here.”

Related:
Deaf To Reason, Part 3
Deaf To Reason, Part 2
Deaf To Reason

Flyer Doesn’t Fly With You

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

Customer: “Is this the item that’s on for $69?”

Coworker: “Yes, that’s the one in the flyer for $69″

Customer: “Okay, I’ll get it but I want to get other things too.”

(Later the customer brings the item to my checkout.)

Customer: “Is that the one on sale?”

Me: “Yes, for $69.”

Customer: “That’s the sale price?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “That girl over there told me it was in the flyer.”

Me: “It is. For $69.”

Customer: “Can you check the flyer?”

(I humor her and check, but it takes me a little bit to find it in the flyer. Before I find it, the coworker from before walks by.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s her! How much is this item?”

Coworker: “$69.”

Customer: “Great, thanks!”

A Mixed Bag

| USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Language & Words

Coworker: “Paper or plastic?”

Customer: I don’t care. I’m bi. I like it both ways.”

Vacation Crime

| ME, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Technology

(I work for a computer repair shop which gets a lot of work orders from a big company because we’re nearby and are known for how fast we repair units. We also use receipts for orders that are being picked up by others.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m here to pick up a computer for [Supervisor].”

Me: “Do you have the repair receipt for their computer?”

Customer: “No, just use my ID.” *shows me work ID*

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, I’m not allowed to give you any computer without a receipt due to security reasons.”

Customer: *suddenly very angry* “Look! I’m an executive at [Big Company]. I can pick up as many computer orders as I want! Just shut up and do your **** job and give me [Supervisor]’s computer!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. But regardless of who you are, I cannot give you any computer without a receipt.”

(The door jingle goes off, meaning another customer has come into the shop.)

Customer: “That’s it! I’m gonna have your a** fired, you incompetent f***! I’ve never been treated so rudely!”

Me: “Well, I hate to repeat myself but again, we’re not allo—”.”

(At this point I notice a police officer and security guard from [Big Company] standing behind the man.)

Customer: *practically yelling at this point* “What?! Not allowed to give me [Supervisor]’s computer?! Well, I’ll –”

Police Officer: “Mr. [Customer]. You’re under arrest for attempted robbery.”

(The customer turns around to see the two men, and makes a break for the door only to be tackled in seconds and taken away by the police officer.)

Security Guard: “Can you believe that guy? He quit and threatened to steal [Supervisor]’s computer all because he didn’t get the vacation time he wanted.”

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