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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    The Bruise Is A Ruse

    , | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Holidays

    (The restaurant I work for allows us to dress up on Halloween, provided we do not wear a mask or anything revealing, too scary, or otherwise inappropriate. I dress up like a female biker as this is the easiest way to dress up and still follow the rules. To add little extra touches to my costume I would slap on some fake tattoos and use makeup to create a black eye. I am working drive thru and a few people comment on the black eye, but would just remark on what a good job I had done with the makeup. Then a gentleman pulls up to the window.)

    Customer: “Oh, my God. Are you okay?”

    Me: *joking* “Yeah. You should see the other guy, though.”

    Customer: *completely serious* “You mean to tell me a MAN did that to you! I thought you got into a fight with another girl!”

    Me: “No, sir. No one did this to me. It’s makeup.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? You don’t have to lie if someone is hitting you.”

    Me: “I’m perfectly aware of that, sir, but I assure you it’s just makeup. See?”

    (I wipe my finger on the ‘bruise’ and show him the color on my finger.)

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I thought I was going to have to beat someone up for you.”

    Me: “I can tell you right now: if someone ever hit me I would make sure they SERIOUSLY regretted it immediately!”

    Customer: “I bet you would!”

    Flipping Off And Flipping Out

    | AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a cashier working the morning shift at a popular pet store when a woman comes in to get a gift card. Our store has machines to take cards; we don’t swipe them ourselves.)

    Customer: “I’d like to put $12 on this card.”

    (I go through the process of getting the money on the gift card.)

    Me: “Okay, $12.”

    Customer: *gives me her card*

    Me: “No, right here.” *gestures to the machine*

    Customer: “Did you just point with your middle finger?”

    Me: *smiling* “Oh, I kind of gesture with my whole hand. Like this.” *gestures again*

    Customer: “You can’t point with your middle finger! It’s like doing this!” *flips me off*

    Me: “Oh, well, I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention at all.”

    Customer: “You know what? I don’t have to deal with this! F*** you! F*** you, you stupid ugly f*****g b***h!” *flips me off and storms out!*

    Mother, Daughter, Lawyer, Cry

    | Sweden | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (I’ve been told I am extremely scary looking, but I am very kind, especially towards children. My girlfriend has a habit of teasing me for looking so scary. A small child enters the store with her mother. I notice the girl holding a teddy bear and don’t comment on it. My girlfriend is the cashier.)

    Mother: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Yeah? Can I help you?”

    Mother: “How dare you!”

    Me: “… Pardon?”

    Mother: “How dare you treat me like a lesser being?!”

    Me: “I literally said ‘can I help you.’ I work here. It’s my JOB to, y’know, help people.”

    (The mother huffs and hurries off, leaving the girl behind, who was looking at some toys. She panics once she sees her mother is gone.)

    Girl: “Mommy? Where are you?”

    Me: “Aw, h***. Yo, kitten!”

    Girlfriend: “Yeah?”

    Me: “Can you get [Coworker]? Dude should be in the back. Tell him to find the kid’s mother.”

    (I explain how the mother looked. She nods and hurries off. The coworker quickly walks past us with a calm smile. He’s one of my best friends and the only time he snaps is when people are being idiots.)

    Me: “Hey, kid. You want a cookie or something?”

    Girl: “Mommy says I shouldn’t take things from strangers.”

    Me: “Fair point. Come on. Let’s look around, shall we?”

    (I show my hand with a calm smile. She carefully grabs it. I now notice she dropped her teddy bear.)

    Me: “Hey… Where’s your teddy?”

    Girl: “Huh? Oh, no!”

    (She looks panicked. I quickly find it and hand it back to her with a calm smile. She quickly hugs it.)

    Girl: “You’re scary… but nice.”

    Me: “Yeah, so I hear…”

    (The coworker from earlier now comes along with the mother, who is screaming
    loudly.)

    Mother: “How dare you assault my child! You sick f***! I’ll have your a** sued!”

    Me: “For what? For leaving your daughter behind?”

    Mother: “I’ll have your a** sued! I’m a lawyer!”

    Girl: “Mom, you’re a waitress…”

    Prices To Put You In The Black

    | Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am working as a barista in the coffee kiosk in the mall. We periodically get people complaining that our prices are higher than in the regular stores. Also, there is an extremely large sign posted on the register stating that we can’t take any bills larger than $20.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, your total is $3.36.”

    Customer: *grumbles* “Your drinks are so expensive!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We’re a franchise run through another company so our prices do average a few cents higher.”

    Customer: *still grumbling, pulls out an $100 bill and shoves it at me*

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we can’t take any bills larger than $20. Do you have another denomination or a card?”

    Customer: *opens wallet, pulls out a black American Express card, and hands it over grumpily while I try not to stare*

    Customer: “YOUR DRINKS ARE SO EXPENSIVE!”

    Fingers Crossed They Were Joking

    | Princeton, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a supervisor at the store. Most shifts only have one cashier up front. I walk up to the front of the store during a closing shift.)

    Cashier: “So the customer I just finished ringing up wanted to know how many fingers I have.”

    Me: “… Sorry. What?”

    Cashier: “Yeah. That’s what I thought, too, so I asked him what he said and he asked ‘how many fingers do you have?’”

    Me: “What did you say?”

    Cashier: “I asked him why he wanted to know. He told me he needed to know how many I had before he cut them off.”

    Me: “…”

    Cashier: “I’m kind of hoping I heard him wrong. But I don’t think I want to go outside by myself after we close.”

    Me: “Yeah. We’ll leave the store together tonight, and I’ll make sure your ride’s out there before we do.”

    Cashier: “Thanks! To be honest, I’m feeling really creeped out right now!”

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