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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Time To Play The Trump Card

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I am at the register at work putting through a sale. The customer’s card has declined twice but instead of getting embarrassed or giving me another card like most people, this guy decides to get angry.)

    Customer: “No, I don’t want to use another card!”

    Me: “Then how would you like to pay sir? I do accept cash.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! Your machine is broken!”

    Me: “I assure you it isn’t broken. The person before you paid by card and it went through perfectly.”

    Customer: “Then you’re not doing your job!”

    Me: *losing the friendly retail face and looking him dead in the eye* “Sir, I’ve worked in retail for 10 years. I have bought goods and services for 15 years. I know how to use an eftpos machine. I cannot be held responsible for your card. Perhaps you should contact your bank on Monday?”

    (The customer leaves in a huff after throwing some cash at me.)

    Next Person In Line: “Jesus, what was HIS problem? It’s an eftpos machine, not a freakin’ tardis!”

    A Good Sign

    , | San Jose, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    (I pull into a drive-thru for a quick lunch. The cashier greets me and asks for my order, and just as I’m about to give it to her, I notice they have a ‘sorry, cash only’ sign taped up next to the speaker.)

    Me: “Yes, I’d like a— Oh, hold on, I just noticed your sign. Let me make sure I actually have cash on me before I order.” *checks wallet*

    Cashier: “No, sorry, our card reader’s down— Wait, what? You READ the sign? I’m not sure that’s actually ever happened before!”

    The Gift Of Friendship

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    Customer: “I am going to pay with a gift card.”

    Me: “Okay, swipe it there.”

    Customer: *swipes gift card*

    Me: “Would you like me to take the gift card for you? There’s nothing left on it.”

    Customer: “No, I like to keep them on my desk.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “I keep them on my desk because when I invite my friends over, I see who’s really my friend. If the gift card is still there when they leave, they are a true friend. If not, I know to have a shotgun waiting for them when they come back!”

    Me: “… Good idea?”

    A License To Kill Hope For Humanity

    | Rochester Hills, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work customer service desk at a local retail store. Sometimes I cashier when we’re busy.)

    Me: “Okay, your total is [total].”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (The customer starts swiping her card, but it won’t read)

    Me: “Go ahead and swipe the card again. It didn’t catch it the first time.”

    (The customer swipes the card again, but it still won’t read. She keeps swiping it, and on one of these swipes I catch a glimpse of the card she’s using. She is getting increasingly frustrated.)

    Customer: “WHY. WON’T. THIS. SWIPE!?”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Ma’am, take a look at your card for me, please?”

    (The customer looks at her card. It’s her driver’s license.)

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Not One’s Cup Of Tea

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I am waiting in line at a petrol station that sells coffees, snacks, and other small grocery items as well as petrol. The customer in front of me is speaking to the cashier.)

    Customer: “I just want two tea bags, please.”

    Cashier: “Do you mean you want two teas to go?”

    Customer: “No, I just want to pay for two tea bags on their own.”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry. We can’t just sell you individual tea bags. We have boxes of 20 tea bags over on the shelves that you can buy.”

    Customer: *getting annoyed* “I don’t understand. Can’t you just take two tea bags from the box and sell them to me?”

    Cashier: “No, we can’t do that.”

    (The customer turns to me with a look of disbelief on her face.)

    Customer: *to me* “Why can’t they just sell me two tea bags?!”

    Me: “Because they don’t have individual tea bags as an item in their computer system so they can’t just charge you for this arbitrary item. They are not items that are for sale individually.”

    Customer: “Ugh! Who asked you, anyway?!”

    Me: “Uh, YOU did.”

    (The customer leaves in a huff while shooting me a dirty look.)

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