November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 7

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(I’m working as a cashier on Black Friday. A man cuts to the front of the line with an armful of clothing.)

Me: “Uh, sir, you’ll have to go to the back of the line. I’m sorry.”

Rude Customer: “F*** that! No way I’m waiting that long! Just make it quick!”

Me: “No, sir. You just cut the line, and I won’t serve you.”

Rude Customer: “Oh, f*** you! Just do your job already! You’re only making this take longer!”

(At this point, the customer he cut in front of, a man in his early 20s, speaks up, quietly and calmly.)

Calm Customer: “Just go back and wait in line, man. Stop being a dick.”

Rude Customer: “F*** y-”

(The rude customer rounds on the calm one as he speaks, raising his hand in what may or may not have been an attempt at a backhand. Regardless, the calm customer catches his arm, twists it, and slams the rude customer’s face into the counter hard enough for it to make an audible thunk through the clothes. The entire time, the calm customer remains stone faced.)

Rude Customer: “Ow! A**-hole! Lemme go! You can’t do this!”

Calm Customer: “Texas law says I can use lethal force if I’m attacked.”

(He twists the man’s arm a little more, causing him to cry out.)

Calm Customer: “You don’t want that, do you?”

Rude Customer: “Ow! No! Just lemme go!”

Calm Customer: “Where are you going to go?”

Rude Customer: “Back of the line! Back of the line!”

Calm Customer: “And are you going to be patient? And polite?”

Rude Customer: “Yeah, man! Sure!”

Calm Customer: “Apologize to the nice young lady, now.”

Rude Customer: *starting to cry slightly* “I’m sorry! I’m sorrryyyyy!”

(The calm customer released the rude one, who almost looked like he was going to attack again. One look at the calm customer’s completely emotionless face seemed to make him think twice, though, and he grabbed his clothes and scampered back to the end of the line.)

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 6
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 5
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 4

Out Of Line Behavior

| Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(The cafe is run by three people: the owner, the cook, and me, the server. At this time, there is a long line going almost out the door when a customer (Customer #1) decides to skip ahead and form a new line. I say nothing but Customer #2, the person I’m taking care of, does.)

Customer #2: “Miss, the line is back there.”

Customer #1: “We can place orders here, too”

Me: “You can wait there if you want, but I have to serve them first.”

Customer #1: “When did that change?”

Me: “It never did. I always serve those who wait their turn, not necessarily where they decide to stand.”

(Customer #1 walked out with a huff.)

How To Spot A Smoking Gun

| Shrewsbury, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids

(I manage a tobacco store and the law says we cannot sell any tobacco products to anyone under 18 and MUST card if customer looks under 30. A young girl and older woman enter store and at the door the young girl hands cash to older woman. Right away I know that she is underage and older woman is buying for her which is illegal. I know I cannot sell at this point but let them come in to see how it goes down.)

Me: “Hello, how are you? What can I get for you today?”

(Both stand there staring intently at the cigarette display without speaking. After a solid minute I ask the older woman:)

Me: “What brand do you normally smoke?”

(She turns to young girl and says:)

Woman: “Well? What do you smoke?”

(I immediately address the young girl and ask for I.D.)

Woman: *very rudely* “I’m buying them, not her!”

(I state that now I know she is buying for a minor I legally cannot sell either one cigarettes.)

Girl: *starts screaming at woman* “Grandma! WHY DID YOU ASK ME THAT? Now I can’t get my smokes!”

Give It More Than Half A Thought

| Aberystwyth, Wales, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I work in a small corner shop in my university town. I was serving behind the till when a man came up with bin bags, that I wasn’t aware were on a special offer until I scanned them through the till. The following conversation took place when I realised this.)

Me: “Oh, sir, these bin bags are two for £1.20. Would you like to take another?’

Customer: “No. You see, I need double strength bags for heavy duty waste, so I only buy ten, because if I bought twenty they’d only be half strength.”

Judged Unworthy To Judge

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Religion

(I am wearing rabbit ears the week before the Easter holiday while I ring groceries.)

Customer: “And do you go to church on Easter?”

Me: “No, I celebrate with baskets, candy, and a nice family meal.”

Customer: “I don’t think Jesus would approve of that.”

Me: “Luckily for me, Jesus wasn’t exactly known to judge people.”

(That shut him up!)