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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Cookies Are The Devil

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Religion, Top

    (In the sandwich shop where I work, we have a daily special for a different six-inch sub each day. If you order two specials, the total, including tax, will always come out to $6.66. On this day, two elderly ladies come in wearing nun’s wimples and veils.)

    Nun #1: “Hello, dear. I’d like a six-inch [special], please.”

    Nun #2: “Oh, that sounds good! I’ll have the same.”

    (I make the sandwiches and go to the register to ring them up.)

    Me: “Okay, your total comes to $6.66.”

    Nun #1: “Well, I’d say that’s the Lord’s way of telling us to get dessert! We’ll take two cookies, please!”

    See this story as a comic!

    Will Pay For That Later

    | ND, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (I’m making a big coupon trip to a big-box retailer, a really big trip I’ve been planning for the better part of a week. I have a couple hundred items in my cart, and just as many coupons that need to be scanned. As the cashier starts scanning, I let anyone who gets in line behind me know that I have a lot of coupons and that my checkout will take a while so they might want to get in another line. They all decide to go to another line, until…)

    Me: “I’ve got a few hundred coupons that are going to need to be scanned after he’s done ringing up my items.” *waves big stack of coupons* “So this will be a while. You might want to get in another line.”

    Customer: “Don’t tell me what to do. This register has the shortest line. I’m checking out here.”

    Me: “All right, just wanted to let you know the coupons were going to take a bit to scan.”

    (In a few minutes, the cashier has finished ringing up all my items.)

    Cashier: “Your total is $1,760.43.”

    Me: “Okay. Here are my coupons.”

    (The customer behind me groans loudly and mutters something about ‘people who can’t afford to just buy things.’ As the cashier continues to scan my coupons, she gets more pissed off and more impatient.)

    Me: “I’m sorry this is taking so long. This is why I suggested you might want to get in another line.”

    Customer: “YOU should have gotten in another line, you dumb b****! I don’t know who the f*** you coupon b****es think you are, making those of us who work for a living wait for you so you can get 50 cents off your stupid crap. You’re just wasting my time, you stupid b****!”

    (The rant continues while the cashier continues to scan my coupons. The cashier and I just roll our eyes at each other about the woman’s behavior and let her rant at us. Finally, after about 15 minutes, the cashier scans the final coupon and announces my savings.)

    Cashier: “All right, so from $1,760, you’re down to $132.73, and you’ve earned $245 in gift cards. Thank you for shopping at [Store]!”

    Me: “Thank you for your patience. Have a great day!”

    (I grab my bags and start to head out when the woman behind me yells for me. I turn.)

    Customer: “So, do you, like, teach people how to do this?”

    Me: “Yes, I absolutely do, but dumb coupon b****es like me shouldn’t take up the time of people who work for a living like you, so I wouldn’t be able to help you. Enjoy paying for your things!”

    Sums Up The Point Quite Nicely

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

    (A customer comes up to my register ranting about how “Kids today don’t know math!” I’m in high school.)

    Customer: “Kids today are just so ignorant! I’ll bet this girl here doesn’t even know any basic math!”

    (She then starts quizzing me on mental math as I’m trying to ring out her order. By the grace of God, I get all of them right.)

    Customer: “Well, I guess you’re the exception to the rule, then.”

    (She then counts out her change for me.)

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes?”

    Me: “Your total was $10.60. You only gave me $10.50. I think you miscounted.”

    Customer: *embarrassed* “Oh.”

    (She quickly recounts her change and leaves.)

    Coworker: “That was the best thing ever.”

    Surviving Their Snipes

    , | ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Technology

    (My fiancé’s birthday is coming up. As game and console collectors we often browse game stores, but mostly we go to a particular second-hand game store where we find some real old treasures and odd things we don’t see very often, and have become regulars. A few days earlier he had spotted a sniper game for the Wii which comes with a full-sized fake sniper rifle that you mount the Wii remote on, but we didn’t buy it due to lack of funds during a billing period. While he goes to work a few days later I go to pick it up for him as a birthday surprise. As this is a second hand store, what people sell to the store is what the store has. There is no inventory of several of an item unless several were sold to them. Two rough looking men are outside the store as I walk in. I tell the lady working what I want to buy. The two men walk in and hover over the sniper game eagerly, just as the lady serving me takes it out of the display cabinet to pack up for me.)

    Rough Man #1: “Hey! What are you doing? We saw it first!”

    Rough Man #2: “Yeah! That’s ours! Don’t you dare sell that to HER!”

    Cashier: “Sorry, it’s being sold to this customer. We unfortunately don’t have any more in stock at the moment until someone else may sell us theirs. I’m terribly sorry.”

    Rough Man #1: “But we saw it first! We have a right to have it first!” *to me* “You can’t buy it. Give it up!”

    Rough Man #2: “Yeah! Give it up! The rules are the first who see it has a RIGHT to buy first! We override your rights!”

    Me: “Nope, sorry. This is for my fiancé’s birthday. I’m buying it regardless of if you saw it first or not. Whoever enquires first is the early bird. Maybe you can find one online.”

    Rough Man #1: “B****! You can’t do that!” *to the cashier* “You better not give it to her! It’s OURS! We have more of a right to it than her! Don’t you dare f****** sell it to her!”

    (At this point the cashier serving me looks a bit frightened. I don’t move from my post in front of her, being protective of both her and my fiancé’s gift as both of the men approach behind me very closely. I feel very wary as they both stand there trying to look as tall as possible, loudly swearing at me, muttering horrid names under their breaths at me. It doesn’t work and even though I feel scared, I stand my ground because I am not one to keel over to rude people, especially when I am buying gifts for loved ones and when they’re scaring others around me.)

    Rough Man #1: “You stupid s***, don’t be a f****** b**** and hand it over. It’s OURS and we’re buying it!”

    Me: “No way. It belongs to my fiancé. I’ll be walking out of here with it. My fiancé saw this days ago and I WILL be giving it to him for his birthday. Why don’t you find one elsewhere? This one is taken.”

    (I purchased it. All the while they were calling me every name in the book and trying to scare me as I stood tall, even though inside I was scared that they might get violent. The transaction went through, approved. I got my receipt, wished the lady serving me a good day, gave her a look that said to stay safe, and I left victoriously, tightly clutching the gift. I was still scared, though, as I was shopping alone, and made sure to quickly get on my bus home before they saw which direction I went. My fiancé was so happy with his gift, and thinks I’m tough as anything for standing up for myself.)

    Freely Bathing In Stupidity

    | Hiram, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Pets & Animals

    (The pet store I work at sells coupon books for $20 that are meant for people who are planning to buy puppies or have just bought them. They greatly help with a lot of the up-front cost and include a sign-up for the customer to continue receiving coupons through their email. A customer comes up with a grooming slip to pay for her dog’s grooming. She is holding a puppy kit and reading it over.)

    Me: “Hey, how are you today? Find everything okay?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Hey, am I allowed to take this book thing home with me and decide later if I want to come back and buy it?”

    Me: “Um, no, ma’am. You have to purchase merchandise before you are allowed to leave the store with it.”

    Customer:” Oh… Well, I guess I don’t want it then. Maybe I’ll get it some other time.”

    (She puts the puppy kit back with the ones at the register and places the grooming slip and a coupon on the counter. I notice the coupon is for $5 off the grooming. In the puppy kit, there is a coupon for a free puppy bath which is what is listed on the grooming slip. To try and save her some money, I decide to explain that to her.)

    Customer: “Hmm… sounds good. I’ll take it.”

    Me: “So you do want to get a puppy kit?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: *confused look* “Then what are you wanting to get, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Just the free bath.”

    Me: “Ma’am, the coupon for the free bath is in the puppy kit.”

    Customer: “So, I’ll take the coupon. But I don’t think I want the kit today.”

    Me: “Ma’am, unless you purchase the book I can’t just give you a free bath. It’s a coupon included in the puppy kit and you can’t use the coupons without buying it first.”

    Customer: “Oh… Well, I don’t want the kit thing tonight.”

    Me: “Okay. I’ll just run it through with the $5 coupon, then.”

    Customer: “Yeah, that would be good. Since I can’t get the bath for free without the book, I’ll at least save something that way…”

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