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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 7

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (I am visiting my boyfriend while he is working temporarily at a gas station. Note: We look nothing alike. He has very dark features where as I am of Irish descent, and look it. An elderly gentleman walks in.)

    Customer: “Would you look at those eyes!” *gets very close to my face and grabs my head* “Those are the greenest eyes I have ever seen! Like emeralds!”

    Me: *very uncomfortable* “Um… thank you, sir.”

    Customer: “You are just gorgeous!”

    (He continues gushing about my eyes until he turns to my boyfriend.)

    Customer: “And you have that dark thick hair! You two are a good match. You will make the most beautiful babies!”

    Boyfriend: “Umm… okay. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “I’m serious! GORGEOUS babies will come out of you two.”

    (With both of us very uncomfortable, he finally stops and tells my boyfriend what he needs. Relieved, he gets him the items and we both hope he leaves soon. But, he continues to make conversation.)

    Customer: “So. You two are brother and sister? That’s nice.”

    (We were both speechless after that.)

    Related:
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 6
    From NotAlwaysRelated.com
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 5
    From NotAlwaysRomantic.com
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 4
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 3
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 2

    Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers

    | Norway | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (When I was born, there were serious complications, and doctors had to step in to keep both me and my mother alive. They tore all my muscles and damaged a lot of nerves in my neck. I went to a physical therapist for many years. I hardly ever notice it now, 20 years later, but once in a while, after lifting heavy items for a long period of time, my back acts up and it hurts a lot. All of my coworkers know this, and despite this, I’m a very hard worker. A customer in his 40s walks in, skips right across the line, and to me, where I’m currently working on a problem with a coffee machine. He sets an empty can of gas, the steel type, down on the floor next to me. I have equipment all over the counter and floor, trying to figure out the problem with the machine. It is also worth mentioning that I live in a small town, where everyone knows everyone. I have hardly ever dealt with rude customers because of this, and it’s well known that we can take abuse until a certain point.)

    Customer: “I need you to go out to your gas cabinet and fetch me a new one of these.”

    Me: “Sure, let me just clean up a little here.”

    Customer: “Do you think I have time for that?! Do you know who I am? I have other places to be!”

    Me: “All right, then.”

    (I shuffle all the pieces and tubes onto the counter, hoping no one will brush them off and step on them. I run out to the cabinet, open the lock, grab a new can, and head back inside. Right as I walk into the store, I get insanely painful cramps in my back, I manage to scoot over to the customer and set the can down, obviously in pain, but I smile and shrug it off to my coworkers.)

    Customer: “You teens are so useless these days! All you do is stare at your phones and your computers! Look at you, you can’t even carry a can of gas! You’re all useless! Now hurry up, for f*** sake! I’m going to a very important job interview over at [local entrepreneur, with the owner’s name as a company name]!”

    (The other customers have been startled at his behavior by now, but at the mentioning of said company, many of them snicker.)

    Me: “You know what? My neck was nearly broken when I was born. I have worked at [Gas Station] for three years, and never have I had a more rude and pretentious customer than you. I want you to calm down so we can finish this transaction. You’re startling the other customers.”

    Customer: “Does it look like I give a s***!?”

    Me: “That’s it.”

    (I pick up the phone and dial a number. My boss is looking at me with approval.)

    Me: *on the phone* “Hey, Dad, I want you to know there’s a man in his 40s, drives a green Honda CRV, who said he’s heading over for an interview with you today. He has been a real pain in the butt, and if you hire him, I’m not giving you grandchildren.”

    (The customer’s face goes pale. He looks at me, the other customers who are now laughing at him, and scurries out the door, leaving both his old and the new can behind. My dad didn’t hire him, either.)

    It’s Not Cute

    | Aurora, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (At my store we sell a brand of clementines known as ‘Cuties.’. Sadly, this is kind of a common occurrence.)

    Me: “Sir, would you like your cuties in the box or in a bag?”

    Customer: *takes them out of the box and hands it to me* “This is for you, because you’re such a cutie.” *winks*

    Me: “Um… thanks…” *smiles awkwardly and finishes the transaction* “All right, sir, your total is [amount]. Would you like any help out to your car tonight?”

    Customer: “Will you be the one helping me out?”

    Me: “No, that would be him.” *points to the male courtesy clerk*

    Customer: *face falls* “Then, no.”

    Her Logic Isn’t Adding Up

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Math & Science

    Me: “All right, your total comes to $26.48. Will that be cash, check, or card?”

    Customer: “Card, please.”

    (We finish the transaction. When I hand the customer her receipt, she squints suspiciously at it.)

    Me: “… Um, is something the matter?”

    Customer: “That doesn’t sound right. It’s too high. You must have overcharged me.”

    Me: “Well, let’s take a look at your receipt. This item was about $10, these two were $5, this was $3, and this was $1. And there was sales tax, too. It can add up quickly.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe your math. You overcharged me! This is way too much for what I bought.”

    (I pull out a calculator and add each item’s exact price together. I also calculate sales tax and add that to the total, which comes out to $26.48, the exact amount she paid.)

    Customer: “No, you added wrong! I don’t believe your math!”

    (I add everything again, slower.)

    Customer: “I don’t believe your math!”

    Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. I’ve just proved to you that I charged you the correct price. If you’re not happy with your purchases, you can return them here.”

    Customer: “No, I need these things. I’ll take them even though you overcharged me!”

    Mayo-Phased

    , | Fort Collins, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Two girls order a foot-long and split it. One of them wants mayonnaise and the other one doesn’t.)

    Coworker: “Do you want me to wrap this as two six inches?”

    Girl #1: “No, thanks.”

    (They take the sub and leave. About four minutes later, they walk up with a bite taken out of one half.)

    Girl #1: “You didn’t put mayonnaise on my half.”

    Girl #2: “You put mayonnaise on my half.”

    Me: “Did you try swapping them?”

    (The girls blink, look at themselves, and then at me.)

    Girl #2: “Oh, my God. I’m an IDIOT!”

    Girl #1: “I’m SOOO sorry for this!”

    (They walk away laughing.)

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