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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Listening Skills Don’t Carry Much Weight

    | WV, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Transportation

    (I am a cashier at a grocery store. Our management does not allow customers to take shopping carts outside. Instead, if a customer has a large order of groceries, we load them into a trolley and an employee follows the customer to their vehicles with the groceries. We always have employees on-hand to do these carry outs. An elderly customer comes to my register with several two-liters of soda and a box containing a 12-pack of soda, among other things. Thinking that this must be heavy, I offer to call a carry out for her.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, would you like a carry out today?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Would you like help out?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Would you like help out to your car?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: *very slowly and deliberately* “Would you like someone to help carry your bags to your car?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, dear. I don’t need that.”

    Me: “Are you sure? It would be no trouble at all.”

    Customer: “I’m sure!”

    (I shrug and ring up her order. I bag her groceries, she pays, and I hand her a receipt.)

    Me: “Thanks a lot. Have a great day!”

    Customer: *stares at her bags of groceries* “Well, how am I supposed to carry all of this by myself?!”

    The Power Of One

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I work as front of house staff at a theater with multiple performance spaces. On this night we have three sold out shows in our building and an incredibly high volume of patrons in line for the box office and in line to get their tickets scanned. I am the only person scanning tickets at this point and I have developed a cluster of patrons around me, plus many more behind them. I realize that to proceed efficiently, I need more organization. I address my patron cluster:)

    Me: “It will really help me out if everyone can form one line please!”

    Woman In The Cluster: *as though this never would have occurred to her* “OH! Because you’re only one person!”

    Me: “…exactly.”

    Deaf To Reason, Part 4

    | Mississauga, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (I am a cashier at a home improvement retail store, and an old lady comes up to my till holding a few cleaning supplies.)

    Me: Hi! How are you today?”

    Customer: *no answer*

    Me: “How are you today?”

    Customer: *no answer*

    Me: “Okay, your total comes to $17.36. Will that be on your store credit card?”

    Customer: *no answer, inserts card into reader and enters pin*

    Me: *hands her her receipt* “Thanks a lot! Have a good day!”

    Customer: “D*** kids! You could have at least said something. Isn’t it your job to make conversation with the customer? So rude!”

    Me: “I did. I asked you how you were doing, I asked if your purchase will be on our credit card, and I hoped you have a good day.”

    Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that? I’m as deaf as anything!”

    Me: *getting annoyed because of the lineup forming behind her* “You just heard what I said, ma’am. Have a good day.”

    Customer: “Well, I never! I’m going to get your rude a** fired!”

    Me: All right. You have a nice day, too.

    (The next customer walks up.)

    Next Customer: “Hi. I was wondering if you could charge me for a pack of toilet paper? That lady spread BS all over here.”

    Related:
    Deaf To Reason, Part 3
    Deaf To Reason, Part 2
    Deaf To Reason

    Flyer Doesn’t Fly With You

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    Customer: “Is this the item that’s on for $69?”

    Coworker: “Yes, that’s the one in the flyer for $69″

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll get it but I want to get other things too.”

    (Later the customer brings the item to my checkout.)

    Customer: “Is that the one on sale?”

    Me: “Yes, for $69.”

    Customer: “That’s the sale price?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “That girl over there told me it was in the flyer.”

    Me: “It is. For $69.”

    Customer: “Can you check the flyer?”

    (I humor her and check, but it takes me a little bit to find it in the flyer. Before I find it, the coworker from before walks by.)

    Customer: “Oh, that’s her! How much is this item?”

    Coworker: “$69.”

    Customer: “Great, thanks!”

    A Mixed Bag

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Language & Words

    Coworker: “Paper or plastic?”

    Customer: I don’t care. I’m bi. I like it both ways.”

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