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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    No ID, No Idea, Part 15

    | Salem, NH, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal

    (The store I work at sells chocolate liqueurs. Because they are alcoholic, I cannot sell them to anyone who doesn’t have an ID on them. A couple of young women come up, and seeing the liqueurs by the register, put a couple in with their purchase.)

    Me: “I’ll need to see some ID for those.”

    Customer: “Oh, I left my ID in the car.”

    Me: “I can hold onto your stuff while you go get it.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to go all the way to my car and back!”

    Me: *moving the liqueurs aside* “All right. I’ll just put those back, then.”

    Customer: “But, I want them.”

    Me: “I’ll need to see your ID.”

    Customer: “It’s in the car!”

    Me: “I can hold your stuff for you while you go get it.”

    Customer: “Look, I LOOK old enough to drink, don’t I?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    (Smiling, the woman nudges the liqueurs back into her pile of stuff. I promptly nudge them back out.)

    Me: “My underage sister LOOKS old enough, as well.”

    Customer: “But I want those!”

    Me: “I’ll need to see your ID.”

    Customer: “It’s in the CAR!”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 14
    No ID, No Idea, Part 13
    No ID, No Idea, Part 12

    The High Point Of My Night

    , | Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work as a cashier and am finally at the end of a long, frustrating split-shift. About 10 minutes to closing a group of guys in their early 20s come in and head straight for the confection aisle. They seem to be having a hard time deciding, and become panicked when my supervisor makes the closing announcement. They shove their candy, chips, and pop into the arms of one guy, and push him toward the cash. They leave the store, leaving their friend to pay. He places the items very slowly on the counter, blinking with confusion a number of times, swaying a little on his feet. I ring his items through.)

    Me: “That’s $14.59. How will you be paying?”

    Customer: “Uh… debit?”

    (He slowly pulls out his wallet and fumbles for his card. He finally places it in the debit machine, and then stares at it, unmoving. The machine times-out, so I reset it. He manages, with some difficulty to make it through the rest of the transaction. When I place his bag in front of him, he looks confused.)

    Customer: “Is this mine?”

    Me: “Yes, it is.”

    Customer: “These are the things I bought?”

    Me: “Uh… yes. Are you all right?”

    Customer: “Huh? Oh, yeah, don’t mind me, I’m just really fried.”

    (He pulls a 2 dollar coin out of his pocket and puts it on the counter.)

    Customer: “Don’t tell; my parents know the owner.”

    (He left, marveling at the automatic doors as he did. He has been back to the store a number of times, in the same state, and makes my day whenever he shows up.)

    Totally Free From Thought

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Money

    (A customer comes up to my till and hands me two movie passes and a club card.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like two for [Movie], please.”

    Me: “Here you go, two tickets for [Movie]. Enjoy your movie.”

    Customer: *takes out her debit card and puts it in the debit/credit reader*

    Me: “Oh, sorry, did you want more tickets for that show on top of the passes?”

    Customer: *takes debit card out* “No, I only need two.” *gestures at herself and husband and puts debit card in the reader again*

    Me: “Oh… well, it’s just that you keep putting your debit card in the machine but you don’t need to pay for anything, so I don’t understand—”

    Customer: “What? OH! It’s free, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh! Okay! Sorry!”

    Fickle Over A Nickel, Part 2

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I am currently checking out a line of customers. I hand a lady her change which is roughly $0.94. She counts it then hands me back a nickel.)

    Customer: “This is not a nickel. This is Canadian. I want an American nickel.

    Me: “Ma’am, it is still worth five cents. Any store will accept it.”

    Customer: “IT’S NOT AMERICAN!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, let me call my manager. She has to open my drawer for me so that I can exchange the nickel.”

    (I call the manager and pray for her to hurry up.)

    Customer: “IT’S NOT AMERICAN!”

    (My manager is being very slow and thankfully the customer behind her pulls some change out of his pocket and hands her a nickel.)

    Customer #2: “Here, ma’am. Take this.”

    Customer #1: “Thank you.”

    (Customer #1 begins to walk to the door but overhears me talking to Customer #2.)

    Me: “Here, sir, would you like this Canadian nickel, it is still worth five cents.”

    Customer #2: “Thank you.”

    Customer #1: *standing half way out the door shouting at me* “IT IS NOT AMERICAN!”

    Related:
    Fickle Over A Nickel

    A Sign That It Will Be OK

    | ME, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I’ve just gotten off a really long, rough shift and decide to treat myself with some ice cream from a shop that’s just opened for the season. I order a small cone and hold out my debit card for the cashier to take while checking my phone.)

    Cashier: “Oh. Um… I’m sorry, but we don’t accept cards.”

    Me: *looking up* “Oh, really?”

    (As I look up, I see just above the cashier’s head a 2x3ft neon pink sign with large, bold letters that say, “No cards accepted. Sorry for any inconvenience”. I glance around and see no less than three more large, bright signs all saying some variation of the pink one.)

    Me: *laughing* “Oh, my god, I am so sorry. I’ve always sworn to myself I wouldn’t be one of THOSE customers, you know? Ah, golly, here, lemme run to my car and get some cash. I’m so sorry.”

    (After I pay, the girl hands me a medium cone. I’m about to go back to the counter and tell her she gave me a larger size than I wanted when I see some writing on the napkin wrapped around the cone.)

    Note On Napkin: “Thank you for not being one of THOSE customers! Here’s to summer. Hope to see you again!”

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