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  • Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    That’s One For The Books

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Books & Reading

    (A customer drives up to the store, gets out, comes in, and walks directly up to the counter without looking at a single book or item for sale. Before I can even welcome him…)

    Customer: “You are going to lose your job.”

    Me: *shocked* “I am?”

    Customer: “No one likes books anymore. Your store is going to shut down and you’ll be out of a job.”

    (He turned around, walked out without looking at a single item, jumped in his car, and left.)

    A Creepily Patient Patient

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work as a tech. I’m going up front to hand a file to the receptionist for a check out. There is a man about 20 years older than me talking to the receptionist.)

    Him: “Hey…” *does that smile that says ‘heeeyyyy’*

    Me: “Hi. I hope you haven’t been waiting too long. Do you need anything or are you waiting for the doctor?”

    Him: “No, I am juuuuusst fine.” *creepily looking me up and down*

    (I leave, do some things in the back and come back out to get the next patient which isn’t him. He is still standing there. The receptionist pulls me aside and hands me a note that has his name and number on it.)

    Me: “What is this?”

    Receptionist: “He is into you. He wants to know how old you are and if you are single.”

    Me: “He is way too old for me. I’m not interested.”

    (I hope he’ll just leave me alone if I don’t talk to him unless necessary. He waits around for a good hour. Because of the layout of the hospital, I have to cross the lobby a number of times. Each time, he stands in the doorway so I have to walk past him.)

    Him: “Give me your number.”

    Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry.”

    (I keep walking. I’m not very good at telling people straight out that I’m not interested. A few days later… he has come back once on my day off and left when he finds out I am not working.)

    Receptionist: “I’m glad you didn’t give him your number. This guy is crazy!”

    Me: “What happened?”

    Receptionist: “He sat and waited in the parking lot to see if you would come out. When I did, he got my husband’s number off the truck.” *he sold diet products from home and had an advertisement on her truck*

    Receptionist: “He called me every day for three days asking if you were going to give him your number!”

    Me: “I’ll take care of it. I’m so sorry!”

    (I called him from the work phone, so he wouldn’t have my number, and told him to leave us both alone. We never heard from him again.)

    Dude Needs Some Sleep

    | Big Rapids, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m working on register at about eight am when a middle-aged woman walks in. She is quite intoxicated.)

    Customer: “I slept in the woods last night.”

    Me: “Okay? How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I had to put this flower in my hair because they said I looked like a dude. I’m not a dude. Do you think I look like a dude?”

    Me: “No… What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I need cigarettes. But they made me sleep outside in the woods. I don’t know where. But they kept calling me a dude!”

    (I ring up her cigarettes hoping she leaves soon.)

    Customer: “It’s like that song. Dude looks like a lady. Except the opposite. Lady looks like a dude. I’M NOT A DUDE!”

    Automated And Medicated

    | LA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (We are the busiest pharmacy in the area, and this day is no exception. To make matters worse, we are short-staffed and our delivery truck is several hours late. I am running the drive-thru at about 6 pm, which is about 10 cars deep.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m here to pick up a prescription for [Name].”

    Me: “It looks like we were out of stock of that medication, but let me check to see if it arrived on the truck.”

    (I check the delivery record and we did receive the medication. However, because none of the boxes are put up, and it is the middle of the evening rush, we won’t be able to fill the order for a few hours.)

    Me: “Ma’am, we did receive the medication on the truck, but we haven’t had a chance to unload the boxes yet, so if you would like to check back this evening…”

    Customer: “I was told it would be ready this afternoon!”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am. Normally we would have it ready then but our truck just arrived less than an hour ago and we haven’t been able to put away the medication yet.”

    Customer: “Well, someone should have called me to tell me it wasn’t ready! I drove all the way from [20 minutes away] to get my medicine and it’s not even ready!”

    Me: “Are you signed up for our automated calls and text messages?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “…and you got a call or text telling you your prescription was ready?”

    Customer: “Well… no…”

    Me: “…”

    (The customer gave me a dirty look as she angrily drove away.)

    Give Her Family Credit

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Money

    (Our system uses a PLU (Product Listed Under) list, which consists of numbers from 1-200, which are used for produce, milk, flowers, and meat coming through the registers. It has been a long busy day and I was getting a bit bored with repeating the same spiel over and over, so I decided to mix it up a little bit.)

    Me: “Your total comes to $94.55. Would you like to pay by cash, card, or firstborn child today?”

    Customer: “Firstborn child? How much is she worth?”

    Me: *turns to customer’s daughter* “How old are you this year?”

    Customer’s Daughter: “I’m five and two thirds!”

    (I put the number five into the system, which corresponds with a 750 gram bag of tomatoes, worth $3.50.)

    Me: *to the customer* “She’s worth $3.50.”

    Customer: “D***, not enough. It’ll have to be card.”

    (The transaction finishes and she starts to head off.)

    Customer: “Can I pay with my husband next time?”

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