• A Pain In The Nugget
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    I Don’t Want To Wait. Oh Wait.

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Me: *answering the phone* “[Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Can you cook us a cheese pizza, and a pepperoni and beef pizza, and put them on the buffet? We are coming in to eat and we are in a hurry and don’t want to wait.”

    (Even though we don’t normally do this, it’s a slow day, so I say okay. The customer and her friends arrive in about 10 minutes.)

    Customer: “Are the pizzas we called ahead about ready yet?”

    Me: “Yes, they were just put on the buffet for you.”

    Customer: “Good, because we don’t want to wait.” *she looks at the menu* “Oh, can I order a 10-piece buffalo wings, too?”

    Me: “Okay, but they take about 12-15 minutes to cook.”

    Customer: “Oh that’s fine. We can wait.”

    Pressured Into Showing Your ID

    | Weirton, WV, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (So, my store has only started selling cigarettes recently, and corporate office demands we ID each and every single person, each and every single time, regardless of how old they look. Failure to do so can result in immediate termination. An older looking gentleman asks for a pack of cigarettes.)

    Me: “May I see a piece of ID sir?”

    Customer: *becoming furious* “What? Does it look like I dye my beard grey?!”

    Me: “I do apologize, sir. It is company policy and I do not want to lose my job.”

    (He shows me his ID, reluctantly, looking more angry every second. After the transaction is complete he says:)

    Customer: “You are lucky my blood pressure medicine is working, because I’m so mad at your punk a** it would go through the roof!”

    Me: “Sir, do you know what else helps with blood pressure?”

    Customer: “WHAT?!”

    Me: “Not smoking cigarettes.”

    Sharing Is Uncaring

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (It’s worth noting that I work in a very small store, with an ice cream counter that spans one end. It’s slow at the moment, so I’m wiping down the counter while my coworker is in back getting a head start on the dishes when a middle-aged woman comes in and gets an ice cream cone.)

    Me: “All right, here you go. That’s $3.91”

    Customer: “Thanks.” *hands me a five-dollar bill*

    Me: “Okay, your change is $1.09, there you are!”

    Customer: “Thanks.” *takes change*

    (I think that’s the end of it, unless she drops some change into the communal tip jar. However, after pocketing the coins she leans over the counter and gives me a handshake, slipping the bill into my hand. I look at her, confused, as we have a very clearly marked tip jar a foot away.)

    Customer: “I don’t believe in sharing.”

    Me: “Um, thanks.”

    (She walked out before I could say anything else. As I’m wondering what to do my coworker comes out of the doorway to the back, where he obviously saw everything.)

    Coworker: “You handled that really well.”

    Me: “Thanks. So should I just put this in the jar?”

    Coworker: “No, that would be shared, and we can’t have that, now can we?”

    His Logic Doesn’t Check Out

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I am working at the registers along with a head cashier shortly before closing. One of our regulars, a very old man, shuffles up to my register. I’m a little surprised, as he usually only talks to Manager, sometimes waiting for hours until Manager starts his shift.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to buy this book.”

    Me: “Certainly! That will be [total].”

    (Customer pulls out a very old leather case with about 100 sheets of perforated checks. He slowly flips to the correct page, slowly starts to fill out a check, and then drops the whole case on the floor, scattering pages everywhere. I help him pick up.)

    Customer: “Oh, no, these need to be in order! Help me put them in order!”

    Me: “Sir, perhaps we should finish the transaction. Then you can put these back in order later.”

    Customer: *getting angry* “That is RIDICULOUS! How am I supposed to know which check to fill out?!”

    Me: “It’s the one you’ve already started filling out?”

    Customer: *muttering* “This is ridiculous. You people are SO unhelpful. I don’t even know why I shop here!”

    Head Cashier: *whispers to me* “Just do it, or we’ll never get out of here.”

    Me: “All right, sir, let’s get these back in order.”

    (Customer insists he put them back in order, very very slowly, while I hold the case. Nothing else will do. 20 minutes later, the check is finally filled out and we can continue with the transaction.)

    Me: “And can I see your driver’s license?”

    Customer: “My WHAT?!”

    Me: “Driver’s license, passport, or other state ID?”

    Customer: *getting hysterical* “What?! WHY?!”

    Head Cashier: *jumping in* “Sir, you’ve shopped here for years. You always pay by check. You KNOW you have to show us your license.”

    Customer: “THAT’S IT! I’m getting the manager!”

    (The customer storms off, and comes back with the manager.)

    Manager: “So, what seems to be the problem?”

    Me: “He’s paying by check.”

    Manager: “Okay, can I see your license, sir?”

    Customer: “Sure, here you go!”

    (Customer handed over his license, the manager finished the transaction in about 30 seconds, and we ushered the man out and closed the store.)

    Doubly Appreciative

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    (I’ve finished serving a customer at my till. She hasn’t left yet, and is thoroughly reading her receipt.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, is there a problem?”

    Customer: “Actually, yes, there is. You charged me double on one item.”

    (I look at her receipt, and she’s right; I did charge her twice for the same item. This is a rather bad mistake, so I’m expecting the worst.)

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am. I’ll fix this right away.”

    Customer: “If I just grab another one of these items, we’d be good, right?”

    Me: “Well, yes, that would be one way to go about solving this problem, but this is my mistake. I am very sorry for what I did, and I can give you your money back, if that’s what you prefer.”

    Customer: “It’s okay; I could use another one of these, anyway.”

    (Ma’am, if you’re reading this, I would like to thank you again for your kindness. It really meant a lot to me. And I’ll do my best to avoid repeating that mistake!)

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