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  • Customer Service Is Over(reaction)
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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Close, But No Cigar

    | Reno, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Language & Words

    (I work at the front counter of a chain store, and am responsible for all tobacco sales during my shift. A customer comes up to the counter and waves a $20 bill at me.)

    Customer: “[Brand].”

    Me: “Sure. What kind?”

    Customer: “[Brand]!”

    Me: “Sir, I have a lot of different kinds of [Brand]. Which one do you want?”

    Customer: *getting annoyed* “[Brand]!”

    Me: “Short or long?”

    (There is a long pause.)

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “[Brand]!”

    (I point at the cigarettes at the top left corner and slowly slide my finger along the 12-foot display. I repeat this for every shelf until the customer finally speaks.)

    Customer: *excitedly* “Finally! [Brand]!”

    (I ring up his cigarettes and the customer leaves.)

    Manager: “Does he even speak English?”

    Me: “He did yesterday!”

    A Race To Be At The Place

    | LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (Customer #1 is paying with a check. She’s one of our regulars, and a very nice person, but it does take her a little bit of time to write all the information on her check. Customer #2 is in line behind her.)

    Customer #2: “Oh, dear gawd. How long is this gonna take?”

    Me: “Just a moment, ma’am. We need to finish up here.”

    Customer #2: “Some of us ain’t got all day. We don’t go ‘round wasting other people’s time, but here they be wastin’ ours. F*** this!”

    Me: “We’re almost done, and stop cussing. Okay?”

    Customer #1: “Thank you, sweetie. Are we done? Okay, fine. Have a good day, now!”

    Customer #2: *mockingly* “Have a good day! Have a good day! Get your old a** out my way!”

    (I silently ring up the rude customer’s purchases, and then tell her the total. She pulls a plastic baggie from her purse and starts counting it out in loose change. It’s a large total, and several times she gets a text on her phone and then loses track of her count. All in all, it takes nearly ten minutes for her to pay.)

    Customer #2: “There! We done? I got places to be!”

    (Customer #2 then strolls out the door and stands leaning on the lamp post next to the street, talking on her cell phone. I start ringing up the next customer.)

    Customer #3: “Yep. That’s her place to be, I guess.”

    A New Form Of Reverse Psychology

    , | CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive thru and we were about to close. I see a car full of high-schoolers pull up to the window and the whole car is backwards. I go see what’s going on.)

    Customer: “I bet you haven’t seen a car drive backwards through your drive thru before!”

    Me: “No, sure haven’t!”

    Customer: “So this means we get free food then right? For being original?”

    Me: “Um, no. Nice try.”

    Customer: “Okay. Had to try.” *drives off in reverse*

    Listen For Those Nuggets Of Information

    , | UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I take orders in the drive-thru.)

    Me: “Hi, can I take your order, please?”

    Customer: “Can I have a large chicken nugget meal, please?”

    Me: “Sure, what drink?”

    Customer: “LARGE. CHICKEN. NUGGET. MEAL.”

    Me: “Yeah. What drink?”

    (The customer rolls their eyes and sighs before making some comment to the passenger about ‘kids these days.’)

    Customer: “Chicken—”

    Me: “Yes. I heard you say large chicken nugget meal the first time. I asked you what drink?”

    Customer: *laughs* “Oh. Coke!”

    Me: “Any dips?”

    Customer: “COKE!”

    Accentuating The Problem, Part Deux

    | RI, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Language & Words

    (I’m from a region that has a very unique and distinct accent. Despite having lived in the region for my entire life, I do not speak with the accent. My lack of regional accent and the unusual spelling of my first name will often lead to customers asking me where I’m from.)

    Me: “Can I help you with anything else?”

    Customer: “Yes, your accent and name are interesting. Where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m from this state.”

    Customer: “No, no. You misunderstood me. Where were you born?”

    Me: “I was born in this state.”

    Customer: “That can’t be! You don’t talk like you’re from this state and I’ve never seen that spelling of your name! Stop lying to me and tell my where you’re really from!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m telling you the truth. I was born here but I grew up in a Francophone family which is why I don’t have the typical regional accent.”

    Customer: “You’re definitely not from around here if you’re from a whatever-you-called-it family! I want you to tell me where you’re really from!”

    (Finally fed up with the customer keeping me from my work I give up trying to argue with him.)

    Me: “All right. I’m from Quebec, Canada.”

    Customer: “See, was that so hard? You speak very good English for someone from Quebec. You must have studied hard. Have a nice day, mademoiselle!”

    Related:
    Accentuating The Problem


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