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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Needs To Seriously Self Check Out Of Campus

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, School

    (Customer #1 is in line ahead of Customer #2, and is buying a large amount of instant coffee, instant noodles, and candy.)

    Customer #1: “D***! This stupid credit card thing can’t read my card.”

    Clerk: “Try it again, sir, and move the card slowly and evenly.”

    Customer #1: “Nope! This f****** thing is broken.”

    Customer #2: “How’s studying for finals going?”

    Customer #1: “Uh… Not well. Why?”

    Customer #2: “Because you’re trying to pay with your student ID.”

    (Customer #1 stares at the card for a long time.)

    Customer #1: “I haven’t left campus in way too long.”

    Should Be Nice About The Niceties

    | USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (I work at an official store for a sports team. It’s been an unusually busy game, and we’re understaffed. I haven’t had more than a minute or two without a customer checking out in over three hours. I’ve made it a point to try to ask how everyone’s day is and been very pleasant. At the end of a transaction…)

    Me: “Ma’am, would you like a bag?”

    Customer #1: “No, but I would like a ‘how’s your day going’ or a ‘thank you!’”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Thank you and have a great rest of your day.”

    (Customer #1 leaves in a strop. Customer #2 approaches the register.)

    Me: *to Customer #2* “Hi! How is your day going?”

    Customer #2: “Great, since I’m not hot, tired, and a b****!”

    A Good Customer Is A Fresh Breath Of Air

    , | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I enter a local fast food place. There’s only one customer ahead of me standing to the side. Just as I get to the counter to place my order he’s given an order of french fries. He lets out an incredibly loud and dramatic sigh, then proceeds to yell at the woman who gave them to him.)

    Customer: “You know, you should just LISTEN to your customers!”

    Employee: “What’s wrong, sir?”

    Customer: “I said I wanted the FRESH ONES!”

    Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I wasn’t told. That batch just came out a minute ago. It’s still hot from the fryer.”

    Customer: “I KNOW THAT! I specifically said I wanted the fresh batch you were working on!

    Employee: “All right. Again, I didn’t know that, sir. I’m sorry. I’ll take those back and the other ones will be right up.”

    Customer: “It’s just that you should LISTEN TO THE CUSTOMER! When he ASKS for something he should GET IT!”

    (By this point all other conversation in the front of the restaurant has stopped and everyone – customers and employee alike – are staring at the man who’s still raising a fuss over something that has essentially already been resolved. He grabs his tray and stomps over to the far side of the counter, standing there with arms folded and huffing like someone a tenth his age. I finally step up to the register.)

    Me: “Yes, I’ll have the [combo meal], and I’d like my soda made FRESH, please. Mix the syrup up yourself. And if you could take a straw and blow the bubbles into it right in front of me that would be great!”

    (The other customer apparently didn’t hear me but at least I got a laugh out of the crew and the other people in line!)

    Customer Service(d)

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (My sisters and I are out shopping and stop by a fast food restaurant for lunch. Both of my sisters still work there, and I have only recently quit to take another job. Several of our good friends work there as well. One such friend is on shift, greeting customers who come in and cleaning tables. When we enter, she comes over and gives us all hugs. Another customer has walked in right behind us, and sees our friend give us all hugs.)

    Customer: “Do I get a hug too?”

    (Without thinking, she hugs him. He just grins and walks off. We all stare at her in shock.)

    Coworker: “I thought he was with you guys…”

    Beware Of Customers Bearing Gifts

    | CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Love/Romance, Top

    (I am working as a cashier during the holiday rush. One of my jobs is to ask each customer if they would like a gift card or gift receipts with their purchase. I have just finished ringing up a woman and have moved on to her boyfriend, who only has one item: pants, clearly for himself.)

    Me: “How’s it going today, sir?”

    Customer: “Good. You?”

    Me: “Good thanks. Would you like any gift cards or gift re—”

    Customer: “No, man. I’m good. Just ring me up.”

    (I nod and continue the transaction. I tell him the total. He slides his card and I press the button that prints the receipt, also clearing the transaction from on screen.)

    Me: “Here’s your receipt.”

    Customer: “Can I get a gift receipt?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It’s already too late.”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “Well, sir, since you already confirmed the transaction and it has gone through the system, you would have to return the item and re-buy it to allow me to get to the gift receipt option.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? What happens if the pants don’t fit and I need to return them?”

    Me: “We do offer a 30-day return policy. All you need is the original receipt, which I just gave you.”

    Customer: “This is bulls***! What happens if it takes me longer than thirty days to decide if they fit?”

    (Before the customer gets anymore worked up, his girlfriend jumps in.)

    Girlfriend: “Don’t worry about it, honey. He asked you at the beginning of the transaction if you wanted a gift receipt. You said no. Now you have to deal with it. Now let’s go before you gotta walk out of this store single.”


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