Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,961 thumbs up)
  • Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Needs More Self-Help Than Self-Checkout

    | Tucson, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

    (I’m a customer at the grocery store using the self-check out. Another customer and his wife approach the self-check out when the husband suddenly stops and turns to his wife.)

    Customer: “I’m not using self-check out! Those machines are smarter than I am!”

    Paying Caesar’s Things Back To Caesar

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

    Customer: “Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?”

    Me: “Nope. Your total is $7.00.”

    Customer: “I don’t pay non-believers.”

    Me: “Well, it’s a good thing you’re paying [Delivery Company], then.”

    Customer: “Do you know any commandments, you Satan worshipper?”

    Me: “Thou Shalt Not Steal. Seven dollars, please.”

    (Then he threw a $10 on the counter and left. Three bucks for Satan!)

    Some Customers Really Need To Change

    | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I work as a cashier in a small grocery store. An older woman comes to my register with two gallons of milk and some bread.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total comes to $10.08.”

    Customer: “I only have ten dollars!” *waves a ten dollar bill in my face*

    Me: “You know what? I’ll just pay the difference for you, since you’re a regular.”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (I take a quarter out of my pocket, complete the transaction, drop the change in my pocket, and hand her the milk.)

    Me: “Have a great day, ma’am!”

    Customer: “Where is my change? The screen says my change is 17 cents.”

    Me: “Well, since I used a quarter to pay just the eight cents I took the rest of the change back.”

    Customer: “You should give it to me! You’re stealing from me, you little b****! Let me talk to your manager!”

    (She continues to yell at me and my manager for a few minutes, calling us evil thieves.)

    Manager: “No one is stealing from you, ma’am. She didn’t even need to pay the difference on your total.”

    Customer: “I’m never coming back here again!”

    (She storms out.)

    Can’t Read The Minds Of The Mindless

    | Rockwall, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a steakhouse where we think and act guest first. There are never customers only guests.)

    Guest: *talking on phone*

    Guest’s Wife: “He’ll take a sweet tea.” *rattles off the rest of the drink order*

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Guest: “Why didn’t you ask me what I wanted to drink?”

    Me: “I didn’t want to interrupt your phone call, sir. Can I go ahead and get your order for you?”

    Guest: *looks at me strangely for a few moments*

    Guest’s Wife: “Did you get all that, sweetheart?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you didn’t actually say anything. What can I get you?”

    Guest: “Well, you should know. I was thinking it very loudly.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, could you please repeat what you would like to eat?”

    (The guest tells me and as I walk away loudly says to his wife:)

    Guest: “This is the worst customer service I’ve ever had! What kind of waitress can’t just tell what I’m thinking?!”

    Dealing With A Smoking Gun

    | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (I work at a grocery store at the courtesy desk. Our store is relatively new and doesn’t sell cigarettes, unlike most others of the same chain. One day a woman approaches the desk.)

    Me: “Hello. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, can I have a carton of Marlboro Lights?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. This [Store] does not sell cigarettes.”

    Customer: *shocked and annoyed* “What? Why not?!”

    Me: “The owner made the decision not to sell them before he opened this store.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this. That’s just UN-AMERICAN!”

    (Her husband who was nearby hears her and walks up.)

    Customer’s Husband: Hmm? What’s the matter?

    Customer: “This store doesn’t sell cigarettes! Have you ever heard of that before?! It’s just un-American!”

    Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience. There is a store in the plaza that sells cigarettes just outside here.”

    Customer: “I shouldn’t have to! It’s just un-American to not sell cigarettes!”

    (The customer storms off leaving me and her husband to just stare in confusion.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

    Customer’s Husband: “Yeah, not when I’m out shopping with her!”

    Page 4/227First...23456...Last