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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Fresh Coffee With An Extra Shot Of Crazy

    , | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Hi, I’m [Name]. I’d be happy to take your order!”

    Customer: *on a cell phone* “…I know! I can’t believe it! I told him I just want that d*** whore out of my house!” *continues conversation*

    Me: “Ma’am? May I help you?”

    Customer: “Is your coffee fresh?”

    Me: “Not at the moment, but I’d be happy to start you a fresh pot!”

    Customer: “WHAT? I’m on OXYGEN! I don’t want to DIE!”

    Me: *confused* “Ma’am? It wouldn’t affect—”

    (The customer drives around to the window.)

    Me: “So you did want the coffee, then?”

    Customer: “Sorry about that! You didn’t hear any of that conversation did you?”

    Me: “Well, yes, ma’am. Every employee with a headset can hear everything said at the speaker.”

    Customer: *pays for her coffee* “OH! I’m so sorry, honey; I just want that d*** whore out of my house!”

    (The customer got her coffee and drove away. The rest of us were left scratching our heads as witnesses to the level of crazy that just left.)

    Scammer Scanner

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

    (I am cutting fabric for one customer, while another coworker is serving a man who has a basket full of stock. The man has the basket on a lower ledge attached the service counter and is putting items on the counter for scanning. I look up to see him put the last two items on the counter, and he then puts one item back in the basket.)

    Coworker: *hands him the bag* “That will be [total], please.”

    Me: “Sir, can you pass me the basket if you no longer need it, please?”

    (The customer takes the item from the basket and drops it into the bag before passing the basket over.)

    Me: “Sorry, can I check that item you just put in the bag? Did you buy it before or from somewhere else? If so I need to see a receipt.”

    Customer: “She scanned it already.”

    Me: “I don’t know whether she did or not. We’ll need to check it.”

    Customer: *pulling the item out of bag and handing it to coworker* “It was scanned.”

    Coworker: *to me* “How do I check?”

    Me: “Just scan it, if it’s already been scanned it will show two in the quantity column.”

    (My coworker scans it. The item is added to the bottom of the screen, the quantity clearly showing one.)

    Coworker: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means it wasn’t scanned in the first place.”

    (The customer pays and quickly leaves the store.)

    Coworker: “How did you know it wasn’t scanned?”

    Me: “I saw him put it on the counter and then immediately put it back in the basket. It’s why I asked him for the basket.”

    Coworker: “I can’t believe he just did that in front of his kids!”

    Lucky In Card(ed)s

    , | Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    Waitress: “What would you like to drink?”

    Me: “I’ll have a rum and Coke.”

    Friend: “I’ll have Guinness.”

    Waitress: “May I see some ID?”

    (My friend and I look at each other in shock. I am just shy of turning 50 and my friend is in his mid-50s, and we both have classic male pattern baldness. There isn’t a chance on earth either of us could be confused with being minors.)

    Me: “Are you serious?”

    Waitress: *looking a bit embarrassed* “It’s policy.”

    (Generally, policy is to card people who look 30 or under. We don’t even look close to that. My friend is from England where carding is basically non-existent.)

    Friend: “Young lady, I have never once been carded in my entire life. Congratulations, you are the very first.”

    Brought Her Baggage With Her

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am currently checking out a customer with a $130 order. Another customer comes up behind her with one item and I tell the first customer that I will check the second customer out first before I continue to help her. Big mistake.)

    Customer #1: “Why? That doesn’t make any sense! I was here first!”

    Me: “It will only take a moment, ma’am. She only has one item.”

    Customer #1: “Whatever.” *rolls her eyes and scoffs at me*

    Customer #2: “No, really it’s okay. I can wait.”

    Me: “It’s not a problem. Once I help you, I can focus on helping this customer bag.”

    Customer #1: “Help me bag? You WILL bag!”

    Me: *speechless*

    (I keep quiet at this point so I don’t say something I regret. I help Customer #2 out and she leaves. Things are tense now between me and Customer #1. I am already bagging her items. My manager comes over to try and defuse the situation’)

    Customer #1: “I’m glad you’re here, since apparently SHE needs help.”

    (My manager and I bagged her items and got her out of there. She was the worst customer I had ever had to deal with since I had been working at that store.)

    Turned Into A Dog Day Afternoon

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Pets & Animals

    (I’ve been having a really bad day due to a customer I had earlier. An older gentleman comes up to my till and I smile weakly at him.)

    Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

    Customer #1: “I’m doing just fine, little lady. How are you?”

    Me: “I’m all right. Are you getting the dog food as well?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, but I’m going to pay for that with cash, if that’s all right?”

    Me: “Not a problem.”

    (I continue to check out the grocery portion of it and he pays. I next begin scanning the dog food when a woman behind him in line sees it and flicks her gaze to Customer #1.)

    Customer #2: “Excuse me, sir?”

    (Both he and I look at the woman. I’m bracing myself for an altercation.)

    Customer #2: “I just really love dogs. Would you mind if I buy those for you?”

    Customer #1: “Y-you don’t have to!”

    Customer #2: “I know, but I want to. I really love dogs and I want to do anything I can for them.”

    (With Customer #1′s blessing, she added the cans of dog food to her $30 order. Faith in humanity was restored and my day improved after that!)

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