July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Should Get Yourself Checked Out

| UK | At The Checkout, Technology

(I am the customer in this story. I am notoriously unlucky at using self-service checkouts; they invariably tell me to ‘place the item in the bag’ or ‘remove the last item from the bag’ or can’t recognise the barcodes. For this reason I usually try to use a manned register. On this occasion I’m only buying a few items and decide to give it a try. There is a cashier near the self-service in case of problems.)

Me: “Just to warn you, these checkouts don’t like me. You’ll probably need to help.”

Cashier: “No problem. I’ll wait right here.”

(I start scanning.)

Me: “I can’t believe this is working. It’s usually gone wrong by now.”

Cashier: “Well, keep going. You’re doing something right!”

(I scan my last item.)

Me: “Wow, that is the first time I’ve got through the whole thing without a problem! That’s a record!”

Cashier: “Well, congratulations!”

(I pay the machine and collect my change.)

Me: “I still can’t believe it didn’t go wrong.”

Cashier: “I hope you have a good day!”

Me: “Thanks! Goodbye.”

(I start to leave the store.)

Cashier: “Uh, excuse me?”

Me: “Yes?”

Cashier: *pointing at the checkout I’d just left* “…Did you want to take your shopping with you?”

An Alarming Lack Of Patience

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(A man walks up behind the person at the counter, even though the line is away from it.)

Cashier: “Sir, the line is over there.”

Guy: “What? Where?”

Cashier: “Right there, sir.”

(Guy leaves. I go up to the counter. He returns.)

Guy: “I’m going to pull the fire alarm if you don’t serve me.”

We Are Sorry For The Good Service

| Prince Albert, SK, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I work as a cashier. During every order I ask the customers coming through my lane if they want the deal of the week, which can be anything from chocolates to toothbrushes to potted plants, and if we forget to ask then the customer gets the item for free. I greet my customer, with a hello, ask how many bags they would like, and offer the deal of the week. The order goes through with no problem and they pay.)

Me: “Here is your receipt, sir. You have yourself a wonderful evening.”

Customer: *kind of pissed* “Well, it’s not going to be so nice now!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. What happened?”

Customer: “You asked me if I wanted the deal of the week, and now I can’t have it for free!”

Me: *kind of speechless* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: *angrily* “Well, you should be. Why can’t you be like those other cashiers who never ask?!”

(The customer left not long afterwards with no fuss, but still a little angry at me for not letting them have a free item. It’s still one of the only times where I’ve had a customer mad at me for doing my job correctly and wanting me to be worse at it!)

Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage

| Lawrence, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

(I am standing in line at the grocery store. The cashier asks the customer in front:)

Cashier: “Do you want paper or plastic?”

Customer: “It doesn’t matter, I’m biSACKtual.”

(After he left, the cashier turned to the bagger:)

Cashier: “It’s a good thing the other guy wasn’t here today; he’s hydrophobic.”

R2-Dum Too

| LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Geeks Rule

(It’s a really slow night so I pull a crochet project out of my bag and sit off to the side of the counter in the break area so that I can work on it. A customer walks in and points at it.)

Customer: “What you making?”

Me: “A hat for my boyfriend.”

Customer: “That’s a funny color pattern.”

Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s not finished. When it’s done it’ll look like this.”

(I show him the pattern’s photos, which is for an R2-D2 hat, and he wrinkles his nose.)

Customer: “Is he a kid?”

Me: “No, he’s not.”

Customer: “Is he actually going to wear that thing?”

Me: “Yes, because he specifically asked me to make it for him.”

Customer: *makes a disgusted face* “Ugh! So he’s a geek!”

Me: “Yes, he is. And your point is?”

Customer: *condescendingly* “He’s a nerd.”

Me: “Yes, and so am I. Again: what’s your point?”

Customer: *throws up his hands* “He’s a nerd! A geek!”

(The customer kept saying that over and over again as he picked up the items he had come to purchase. I’ll never understand people that think being geeky/nerdy is a bad thing. At least my boyfriend likes nerdy handmade things he gets.)

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