October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Needs To Learn About Togetherness

| WI, USA | At The Checkout, Underaged

(Two customers come up to my register together with a bottle of brandy; both look young so I move to card them both.)

Me: “Can I see your IDs, please?”

Customer #1: “Oh, she’s not buying anything.”

Me: “It doesn’t matter. If you’re together, I need to see both of your IDs before I can sell this brandy to you.”

Customer #1: “We’re not together.”

Me: “Then how do you know she isn’t buying anything?”

Customer #1: “Well, she’s not holding anything, so I just assumed… We’re not together!”

Customer #2: “I’m just his ride!”

Me: “I’m sorry, that doesn’t matter. I cannot sell to you since you are together.”

(At this point they exchange a look that makes it very clear that they’re trying to pull one on me and that Customer #2 is, in fact, underage.)

Customer #1: “But we’re not together!”

Me: “She just said she’s the one who drove you here.”

Customer #1: “This is complete garbage! I have never heard of this stupid f***ing rule! No one’s ever done this to me before. We’re not even together!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It’s state law that I can only sell if I have IDs from everyone in the group.”

Customer #1: “But we’re not together!”

Has No License To Be Right

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Underaged

(I work at a local grocery and pharmacy store in my neighborhood in the customer service department. I deal with checks, returns, and things of that nature. A lady walks up to me looking to cash a check.)

Me: “So, you’d like to cash a check for $76? May I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “Absolutely! Here you go.” *I inspect the ID, which expired over seven years ago*

Me: “Miss, I can’t take this ID. It expired on [this date] in ’07. As such, that makes it invalid.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? This is ridiculous! I cash checks at your sister store down the road all the time with this ID!”

Me: *trying to be as nice as possible* “Well, I can tell you they shouldn’t be doing that either. It’s illegal for me to cash this check with an invalid license. Do you have a valid ID?”

Customer: *searching through her wallet for a newer, legal license* “Here. You need to learn to respect your elders and let the customer be right.”

(I’m 20 and while that is true, I’m not going to break any laws.)

Me: “And while we’re at it, may I ask why you carry around that expired license?”

Customer: “Well, in case I lose my new one, of course!”

(She takes her money and storms out. I turn to a coworker who watched the whole thing.)

Me: “I hope she doesn’t get pulled over and present that. She wouldn’t have a good excuse.”

The Signs Of Change

| Omaha, NE, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Language & Words

Me: “Paper or plastic?”

Customer: “Paper.” *after some consideration* “No, plastic.”

(My bagger obviously doesn’t catch the change, and continues bagging in paper.)

Customer: “Excuse me!” *snaps her fingers in front of the bagger’s face* “Weren’t you listening? I want plastic! Not paper! You should be paying attention!”

(My bagger, startled, gives her a confused look and starts signing something, indicating that he’s deaf. The woman goes extremely pale.)

Customer: “Uh, thank you. Goodbye.” *she grabs her bags, still paper, and rushes out of the store*

(My bagger then slides me a note that says:)

Note: “What I said to that woman was so rude.”

Practically Screaming Your Age

, | Yorktown, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work at a drive-in where you park you car and order food from a speaker, then we bring it to you. Sometimes customers let their kids make the order for them.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?

(The drive-in is very new, and our headsets have pristine hearing.)

Mother: *whispering* “Tell them, ‘one chocolate milkshake.'”

Child: *screaming* “ONE CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE!”

(I nearly fall over as I jerk the headset off my ears. I can still hear talking through them.)

Mother: *whispering* “One vanilla milkshake.”

Child: *screaming* “ONE VANILLA MILKSHAKE!”

Mother: *whispering* “And two strawberry milkshakes.”


(I gingerly put the headphones back on.)

Me: “Okay, that will be [price]. Will it be cash or card?”

Child: *screaming* “I DON’T KNOW! I’M SIX!”

Will Find It Or Dime Trying

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(I work in a grocery store. There are little trash cans between the register and the little counter with the card payment system. I’m giving the customer her change when a coin falls into the trash bucket. Most customers brush it off and leave.)

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. Let me get that for you” *find the dime and give it to her* “Well, have a nice day!”

Customer: “There should be another dime. I need my dime.”

Me: “Well, okay, let me look again.” *I look in the trash and around the ground* “Are you sure it wasn’t one dime,  ma’am?”

Customer: “No! Let me look.” *she then proceeds to pull out all the trash, tossing it onto my belt, then pouring out all the garbage*

Bagger: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “She lost her dime.”

(My bagger then starts searching the surrounding area for the dime.)

Customer: *stops after about 10 minutes of searching and looks straight at me* “Oh, well, it’s just a dime.” *she leaves*

Me: *to the next customer* “Hi, how are you today?”

(I’m laughing pretty hard by now, as I could barely keep from cracking up while watching this lady. I’m not even mad.)

Customer #2: “If she took any longer, I would’ve just given her a dollar!”

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