Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

I’m Over Your Hangover

| Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I’m another customer waiting for my prescription. A young hungover male customer is talking to the pharmacy staff. She is asking him some questions to be sure he’s not drug seeking.)

Customer: “I need some strong headache stuff.”

Pharmacist: “Okay sir, just a couple of questions. Are you allergic to anything?”

Customer: “No.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, are you taking any other medications?”

Customer: *annoyed sigh* “NO! D*** it, I had too much to drink last night and my head f****** hurts; just give me the f***** tablets.”

(I hadn’t noticed the head pharmacist hovering till the man got aggravated. He is a 6 foot tall, usually quietly spoken, older man.)

Head Pharmacist: “Sir, there is absolutely no need to swear at [Pharmacist]. She has to ask these questions for your safety.” *hands over some headache tablets* “Here you go, sir.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(He pays and leaves. The pharmacist turns to her coworker.)

Pharmacist: “I should’ve given him the strongest laxatives we have.”

(I couldn’t help but giggle.)

Trying To Avoid A Razor-Sharp Employee

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(I’m working as a cashier and this sweet-seeming older woman comes up to my counter to buy a razor.)

Me: “Hello, how are you?” *scanning her items as we speak*

Customer: “Wonderful. How are you?”

Me: “I’m doing well, thank you. Your total is $14.”

Customer: “What?! No, that’s five dollars! The bin said it was five dollars!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, this product is $14. Perhaps someone just put it into the $5 bin because they wanted the cheaper item?”

(I get someone to check and the bin is full of a totally different razor set, which I suspected would be the case, especially because this razor was a really nice razor. So we explain this.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous! This is false advertising! You should be sued!”

(She leaves really quickly, while shouting. The associate who was standing there the whole time after checking the bins starts laughing.)

Me: “What?”

Associate: “She tried buying that same razor yesterday with an expired coupon.”

When You Know You’ve Worked Too Many Doubles

, | Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working the drive-thru late at night when a man pulls up to the window wearing a latex horse mask; his friend in the passenger’s seat is wearing a Guy Fawkes mask.)

Driver: “Evening. I’d like some cheese, please.”

(I stand there for a few seconds, wondering if I’m dreaming.)

Me: “…you mean a cheeseburger?”

Driver: “No, just a slice of cheese, thanks.”

(Without breaking my line of sight with the driver, I grab a single slice of cheese and give it to him.)

Driver: “Thank you. Would you like a turtle?”

(The passenger reaches into the back seat and pulls from it a large snapping turtle.)

Me: “No thank you, sir.”

Driver: “You sure? His name’s Waylon.”

Me: “I’m sure, sir.”

Driver: “Well, have a nice night.”

(I have yet to tell any of my co-workers about this in fear of them laughing and saying I made it up.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 9

, | Fort Worth, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I work in a large county hospital, and a national fast-food franchise has a facility in the hospital food court. I eat there very frequently, and this day I am in line behind a lady who is a family member of a patient. She orders a hamburger combo meal.)

Clerk: “Order #109 ready.”

Customer: “That’s mine! That’s mine!”

(She proceeds to carefully inspect every item in the bag, I guess to make sure she got every last French fry she was entitled to. She pulls out and holds up an apple fried-pie.)

Customer: “I did not order this!”

Clerk: *looking at the receipt* “Oh, no, ma’am, you surely didn’t. I’m sorry. But see, you weren’t charged for it either.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t order it.”

Clerk: “No, ma’am, you didn’t. But you weren’t charged for it either.”

Customer: “But I don’t want it. Take it back and I want a refund.”

Clerk: “Well, we can’t take back food, but it’s ok. Just keep it. Our mistake. You weren’t charged for it.”

Customer: “But I didn’t order it and I don’t want it. Take it back.”

Clerk: “Really, it’s okay. Just keep it.”

Customer: “Well, I want a refund for it.”

Clerk: “But you weren’t charged for it. I can’t give you a refund for something you didn’t purchase.”

Customer: “It was in my bag and I didn’t order it.”

Manager: *stepping in* “Yes, ma’am, I understand. We made a mistake, but you weren’t charged for the pie. PLEASE just keep it with our compliments. No problem.”

(The customer slams the pie down on the counter and storms off with the rest of her order, muttering obscenities under her breath.)

Clerk: *looking at me* “Can I help you, Doc?”

Me: “I’d like an apple pie—”

Clerk: “Oh, don’t even start with me…”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 8
Refunder Blunder, Part 7
Refunder Blunder, Part 6

Ensuring A Lack Of Insuring

| WI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Money

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Okay, what is your last name?”

Customer: “[Name].”

Me: “I notice that we have not run insurance on this. Let me look into that.”

(I pull her up on the computer and notice we do not have any insurance information on file.)

Me: “We do not have insurance on file for you. Do you have insurance you would like us to bill?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(Usually the customer gets a card out so I give her some time, but she just stares at me waiting, so I ask:)

Me: “Do you have the card with you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Right now this costs $89.75, but your insurance should bring that down. We will need the insurance information located on your card to bill them. Would you like some time to go get it?”

Customer: “It has never cost more than $5 before.”

Me: “Okay, hold on.”

(I look to see if we have another file for her that may have her insurance listed but none come up.)

Me: “I’m sorry we don’t have your insurance information. Have you filled with us or at another location? Or could it be under a different last name?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: *frustrated at this point* “Okay, then, there are a few options. You can find your insurance card and we can run it through, or you can pay the $89.75 and come back later with the insurance card for a refund. We have seven days to do a refund in store. After that we would have to send it to corporate and it could take several weeks.”

Customer: “”But it has never cost more than $5.”

Me: “I understand. I am sure the price will go down as soon as we get your insurance information. Would you like to go get your card?”

Customer: “I don’t have a card. I’ve never had a problem before.”

Me: “Where did you get your prescription last?”

Customer: “[Different pharmacy].”

Me: “We are not connected with them and cannot access their files.” *I give her the two options again*

Customer: “This is ridiculous; it should only be $5! You should have my insurance!”

Me: “Actually it is your responsibility to carry your insurance card. Most people carry them in their wallet.”

Customer: *walks away*

Coworker: “She must think your name tag says magician not technician.”

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