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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Doesn’t Know Beans About Listening

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a cashier in restaurant with a store attached. All purchases, either food or merchandise, are done through me. When a customer finishes their meal, they bring me a receipt to pay for their meal, along with any other things they feel like buying. Like many stores, we have an item we try to sell to every customer who comes through the line. Its currently jelly beans.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! How are you today? Did [Server] take good care of you?”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah. She was great.”

    Me: “Is that everything for you today? Would you like to add on any jelly beans today? We have a bunch of different kinds, with just about every flavor.”

    Customer: “Yes, please. Seven.”

    Me: *shocked* “Seven, sir? Absolutely. which kind would you like? We have the regular 20 flavors, sour, ice cream, smoothie…”

    (I proceed to list every bag I can think of.)

    Customer: “What? No. I want to add seven.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, but I need to know what kind you want.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? I. Want. To. Add. Seven.”

    Me: “Seven what?!”

    Customer: “DOLLARS.”

    Me: “Sir, are you referring to a tip? You want to add seven dollars for your server?”

    Customer: “Yes! What else would I be talking about?”

    Me: “Well, sir, I had just asked if you would like to add any jelly beans to your purchase today…”

    Not Drinking This Information In

    , | Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “I would like the #1 Combo”

    Me: “And your beverage?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Your beverage?” *points at cup*

    Customer: *frustrated* “YES.”

    Me: “What would you like to drink, sir?”

    Customer: “STOP ASKING! I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU I WANTED A DRINK!”

    Counting And Discounting

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (I’m a cashier at a place that sells small items of furniture, storage containers, and so on. We are having a 10% off sale. My last customer caused a huge amount of trouble due to getting angry and shouting over not understanding the difference between 10% and $10, so I’m feeling frazzled. A mother and her child, probably seven or eight, come up to my register and start unloading their items while they talk.)

    Mother: *to the kid* “Now, this container was $19.95, but we bought two, so how much is that?”

    Kid: “$39.90!”

    Mother: “Well done! But remember, there’s 10% off today. What’s 10% of $39.90?”

    Kid: “$3.99, so the real price would be… umm, $35.91?”

    Mother: “That’s right! Nicely done! But now here comes the hard one, so look out! I have my membership card!”

    (The child’s eyes widen. Membership cards give a further 25% discount.)

    Kid: “Okay, okay, umm…”

    Mother: “You can do it!”

    (By this time, I’ve scanned the items and bagged them. Just as I’m about to say the total, the child beats me to it.)

    Kid: “$26.93!”

    Mother: “Fantastic job! I think we get to stop at the playground on the way home!”

    Kid: “Yes!” *jumps up and down gleefully*

    (After my last customer, a fully grown man who couldn’t understand what a percentage was, I’m literally dumbfounded. In the end, I call my manager and we give the mother a further employee discount, which her child also worked out.)

    Listen To The Irony Of The Situation

    | Abilene, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I work as a cashier in a grocery store that values guest service very highly. We’re expected to greet, converse with, and thank every customer. My current customer, a young woman, is talking on her cell phone.)

    Me: “Hello. How are you today?”

    Customer #1: *talking on phone* “… and then we went to the mall and shopped for mom’s birthday…”

    (Noticing she’s on her phone, I don’t attempt to make any more conversation other than ‘paper or plastic’ and ‘sign here, please.’ She doesn’t say a word to me. I then turn to the next person in line, an older lady shopping with a friend.)

    Me: “Hi! Did y’all find everything you needed today?”

    Customer #2: *ignoring me, speaking to her friend* “Can you believe that girl? When I’m working at [Retailer], I won’t ring them up until they get off the phone. So rude!”

    Me: “Would you like your milk in a bag, ma’am?”

    Customer #2: *still speaking to friend* “I mean, is your conversation SO important that you can’t pay attention to the person in front of you?”

    Me: “Your total is [amount]. Can you sign the screen, please?”

    Customer #2: *signs without looking at me, still chatting* “Common courtesy is dead, I’m afraid.”

    Me: *quietly bagging the groceries* “Thank you. Here is your receipt. Have a nice day.”

    (They left without a word. Some people just aren’t very self-aware, I guess!)

    All Fired Up And Fried Up

    | Medicine Hat, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I have a headset on to assist drive-thru…)

    Cashier: “You had the burger and a coke. Any fries today?”

    Customer: *grumpy*: “No fries!”

    Cashier: “Okay. And what size for your drink?”

    Customer: “NO FRIES!”

    Cashier: “I know, but what size for your drink? Small, medium, or large?”

    Customer: “I said NO FRIES!”

    Cashier: “Okay. The burger and a coke…”

    Customer: “LISTEN, YOU LITTLE B****! I said I didn’t want fries! Don’t you f****** listen?!”

    (She drives up to the first window and I’m ticked off, so I take it. She hands me her credit card.)

    Me: “DON’T SWEAR AT MY COWORKERS!”

    Customer: “Well, she wasn’t listening!”

    Me: “Yes, she was. You didn’t. She asked what size of drink. She didn’t say a damn word about fries after you said you didn’t want any.”

    Customer: “I want your manager.”

    (I call for manager.)

    Customer: “I want—”

    Me: “Nope. You want the manager, not me, so you’re getting the manager.” *I still have her card so she can’t leave*

    (The manager comes and the customer complains about my attitude to her. The manager says exactly what I did, not to swear at us, it’s her own fault, and not to come back. Haven’t seen her since.)

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