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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 3

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Themed Giveaway

    (A customer comes up to my till. I start ringing her up)

    Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us?”

    Customer: “Do you sell our information?”

    Me: “No. We just use the rewards card to give you coupons every time you spend a certain amount of money with us.”

    Customer: “Oh, well. I don’t need that, if that’s all it’s for.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Related:
    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 2
    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward

    Gift Card For The Gifted

    | Syracuse, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Themed Giveaway

    (At the end of each transaction, I have to circle a survey on the receipt that the customer can enter to win a $500 gift card. Three teenage boys have come in and are buying a sweatshirt.)

    Me: Here at the bottom of your receipt, we have a little survey. If you can take a minute to fill it out for us, you can be entered in a drawing to win a $500 gift card!”

    Teenage Boy #1: “$500 to here?! I can buy so many clothes! I can buy so many pairs of yoga pants! My a** will look fantastic!”

    To Their Credit, Cashiers Are Not Psychic

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I’m working at one of the express lanes in a big-box retailer. A woman and her husband approach with a full cart but since it is a slow night, I agree to take them. I scan everything they have, and the couple is overly chipper and pleasant until it comes time to pay.)

    Me: “Alright, you’re all set! It’ll be [price].”

    (The customer holds out her card.)

    Me: “Oh! Sorry, go ahead and swipe your card right here.”

    (I tap the credit card machine.)

    Customer: “Sheesh! Sorry! It’s been a long day! It’s going to be credit.”

    (The customer slides the card through.)

    Me: “Alright, then just hit cancel, and select credit.”

    (I hit the credit key on my side when she agrees to the amount and selects credit. She signs and then hits ‘OK.’ The receipt prints and I hand it to her.)

    Me: “Here you go! Have a nice night!”

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: “Your receipt?”
    Customer: “Why are you giving me the receipt?! I wanted to pay a different way too!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, if you had informed me prior to sliding your card I could have processed it but—”

    (The customer slams her hands on the counter.)

    Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place!? Now I’m overdrawn!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I really am. I understand the problem but there’s nothing I can do. If I had known before hand I would have told you but you didn’t tell me you wanted to pay using more than one method.”

    Customer: “You should have known!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you can take your receipt to customer service and they can reverse the charge. I don’t know if it will help but the money will go back in a few days.”

    Customer: “This is stupid! You people need to anticipate our needs!”

    (The customer grabs the receipt and storms off towards customer services. Her husband just rolls his eyes at her and trails along with the cart. She demands that we pay her overdraft fees, throws a huge fit, and has to be dragged out by her husband!)

    A Decent Slice Of Nice

    | Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (It’s about 9:50 pm, 10 minutes until we close and a group a customers have just walked in. As I’m serving one of them we start chatting.)

    Customer #1: “Sorry for coming in so late. You guys are about to close, right?”

    Me: “In a few minutes, yeah. But it’s fine. We don’t mind.”

    Customer #2: “Have you guys had dinner?”

    Me: “Not yet, our shift started at 5 and we don’t get a break.”

    (The two customers look at each other, and then one thrusts a takeaway pizza box at me.)

    Customer #1: “Here have this.”

    Me: “Oh no, it’s fine. We really can’t.”

    Customer #1: “No, take it. We won’t be able to eat it all anyway. You guys should get dinner.”

    (They all pay and go, leaving my coworker and me with a free dinner! Customers like these ones make my job bearable!)

    Ah, Grandmothers, Part 3

    | Piscataway, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (My aunt works at a popular doughnut shop chain near my grandmother’s house. One evening, my older sister and her boyfriend, my little brother, and I decide to head there after an afternoon at a fair, while waiting for my mom to pick us up. A short while afterward, a couple of tough-guy type young men walk in, making rude comments, being loud, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. The leader of the group approaches the counter where my aunt is working.)

    Customer #1: “Yo, b****, gimme your number.”

    Aunt: “I don’t think so. Is there anything you’d like to order?”

    Customer #1: “How ’bout a piece of that a**?”

    Aunt: “Sorry, not on the menu. Now order something or please leave.You’re holding up the line.”

    Customer #2: “B****, we’ll leave when we wanna leave.”

    Customer #3: “Yeah, who’s gonna stop us, little old you?”

    Aunt: “No, little old [Manager]. Now, please, place your order or get out.”

    (The customer orders two cases of donuts, and throws his money to the ground.)

    Customer #1: “See what you did? Pick it up and hand it back to me!”

    Aunt: “Um, it’s on your side of the counter.”

    (The customer picks up his money and walks over behind the counter and throws it down again.)

    Customer #1: “Now pick it up, b****!”

    Aunt: “No. As a matter of fact, leave. I’m refusing service.”

    Customer #1: “Why, because I’m black?!”

    Aunt: “No, because you’re acting like an imperious a**hole, and you have been since you walked in. Now leave, or I’m calling the police.”

    (As luck would have it, a police officer stops inside the shop.)

    Me: “Wow, that was fast.”

    Customer #1: “Officer, this racist b**** was trying to kick me and my homies out. We ain’t even done nothin’!”

    Officer: “Really? Because what I saw was you throwing your money at this woman twice, in addition to walking behind the counter, which isn’t allowed for non-employees.”

    (The customer and his buddies start throwing a fit, yelling expletives, flipping everybody off, and generally acting unruly. Then they head outside and start throwing boxes around; the leader even takes off his shirt and tries goading everyone into a fight.)

    Customer #1: “COME ON, I’LL SHOW Y’ALL! I’LL BEAT Y’ALLS A**ES SO HARD! COME ON!”

    (He has another argument with the officer, but thankfully leaves with his buddies. However, he comes back a few minutes later accompanied not by his friends, but his grandmother.)

    Customer’s Grandmother: “So I understand y’all have a problem servin’ my grandbaby?”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah, they were callin’ me all kinds of s***, and the girl over there was saying we were on food stamps!”

    Customer’s Grandmother: “…[Customer's Name], stand outside and wait while I talk to the officer here.”

    (The customer steps outside and my aunt explains everything that happened. After hearing it, the grandmother is incensed and walks outside.)

    Customer’s Grandmother: “YOU LITTLE PUNK-A**! GET YO’ A** IN THE CAR NOW! You dragged me outta my home for THIS?!”

    (As they drive off, my mom finally pulls in.)

    Mom: “So, what’d I miss?”

    Related:
    Ah, Grandmothers, Part 2
    Ah, Grandmothers
    Ah, Mothers
    Ah, Fathers
    Ah, Fathers, Part 2


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