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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Not Going To Put The Matter To Bed

    | NS, Canada | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (It is the day before Mother’s Day. A little boy, around seven or eight years old, comes up with his dad to buy a cake and a card.)

    Me: *to the boy* “So, are you going to make breakfast in bed for your mom tomorrow?”

    Boy: *in awe, with wide eyes* “How did you know I was gonna do that?”

    Me: “I’m psychic!”

    (At this point the dad has just finished paying, and as they are walking away I hear this:)

    Boy: *to his dad, still in awe* “But, Dad! How did she know I was gonna do that?”

    Carded If The Card Is Discarded

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (Per company policy, if a customer wants to pay with a card they need to have it with them. We can’t authorize them over the phone unless it is a credit card issued by our company. There are occasional exceptions, but really only for regulars. We are also always supposed to check an id. A woman came in to buy a bunch of supplies for her office. As she’s at the register to pay. She pulls out a piece of paper.)

    Customer: “I’d like to pay with this.”

    (The paper she pulls out is a photocopy of a company credit card.)

    Cashier: “Uhm… we can’t take this.”

    Customer: “Why not?!”

    Cashier: “Because we need the physical card.”

    Customer: “Get a manager!”

    Manager: “Can I see an id?”

    Customer: “Why? My name won’t match. It’s a company card.”

    Manager: “Then, I’m sorry but we can’t accept it. I really shouldn’t do it, even if the names did match. It’s against policy.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! How can you not take it!? Why do you even need to see my ID?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, there is way too much risk for identity fraud. I have no way of knowing that’s your card, or company. Anyone could have taken that card and made a copy, or found the copy lying around somewhere.”

    Customer: “Are you accusing me of stealing this card information!?”

    Manager: “Of course not! But wouldn’t you rather have stores check ids and only accept physical cards if yours was the one that was stolen?”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! It’s our company card! And accusing me of stealing?! I’m never shopping here again! You’re losing so much business!”

    Manager: “Well, it’s better than getting in trouble for a fraudulent charge. Sorry we couldn’t help you.”

    (The customer stormed out in a huff.)

    Religious Hatred Works Both Ways

    | Saint Paul, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Religion

    (A customer I’ve never seen before comes in alone; he’s young and looks fairly normal. It’s slow, so it’s pretty much just me running the cash register and the bar by myself, with my manager doing paperwork in the back. There are a couple of other customers who’ve already been served.)

    Customer: “Can I have two large lattes and a medium blended mocha with peppermint?”

    Me: “Sure thing!”

    (I ring him up and begin making his drinks. I’m almost finished when he notices that I’m wearing a small silver cross necklace.)

    Customer: “You’re not a Christian, are you?”

    Me: “Well, I’m non-denominational, but yes, I’m a Christian.”

    Customer: “You can’t be serious. You know that’s all just a fairytale, right?”

    Me: “Here you are, sir.”

    Customer: “I can’t drink this. If you’re a Christian, you’ve got centuries of blood all over your hands, and I’m not touching anything you’ve touched. I want a full refund, you w****. How can you hypocrites live with yourselves?”

    (Not wanting to continue the conversation since I didn’t trust myself to remain calm, I begin a return.)

    Customer: “I mean, just look at Westboro Baptist Church! That’s more than enough evidence for me that you all deserve to be wiped off the map!”

    (He goes on like this all the while I’m processing his return. None of the other customers in the shop say anything, although I see one or two looking at us. I finally finish his transaction and hand him his money and receipt and manage to look him in the eye)

    Me: “Have a blessed day, sir.”

    (He cursed violently and knocked the two lattes off the counter. One of them landed on his pants, scalding and causing him to curse again. He grabbed his money and stormed out, still yelling about how religious people are a “disgrace to humanity” and should be “exterminated.” After I cleaned up the remnants of the lattes, I went on break and drank his blended mocha.)

    Seems To Have Enough Baggage Already

    | MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am in the middle of ringing up Customer #1, when the next person in line dumps her purchases on the counter. She then seems to notice the items I am scanning for Customer #].)

    Customer #2: “Those aren’t mine.”

    Me: “I know. I’ll be with you as soon as I’m done.”

    Customer #2: *looks annoyed*

    (Customer #1 only has a few items that are easily carried by hand, so I ask him whether he wants a bag or not. As soon as he leaves, I start to scan Customer #2′s items, and bag them for her as well. She has several small items.)

    Customer #2: *clearly offended* “Why didn’t you ask me if I wanted a bag?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer #2: *gestures towards the retreating back of Customer #1* “You asked HIM if HE wanted a bag! Why wouldn’t you ask me the same thing?”

    Me: “Um… I figured you might need one?”

    Customer #2: “You should have asked!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Would you like a bag?”

    Customer #2: “OF COURSE I want a bag!”

    Refunder Blunder, Part 6

    | MT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work the customer service and return desk and am in the process of returning several items of clothing for a customer because they did not fit her children. Before I can finish the transaction and hand her back her money, she hands me a coupon.)

    Customer: “When I bought these items, the cashier didn’t scan my coupon. Can you just do it now?”

    Me: “… I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Just take this coupon off during the return for me. I wanted to use it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a return transaction, I can’t use a coupon on a return.”

    Customer: “Then return my items and resell them to me with the coupon!”

    Me: “So you want me to return your items, resell them to you with your coupon, and then return them a second time?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Knowing that if I resell you the items with the coupon, you will receive less money back on the second return because of it?

    Customer: “Yes!”

    (We had to have a manager explain to her that it wasn’t worth it to do all that just for a coupon.)

    Related:
    Refunder Blunder, Part 5
    Refunder Blunder, Part 4
    Refunder Blunder, Part 3

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