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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Going Into A Song And Dance Over It

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (A customer is buying over $200 worth of used CDs, most of which are missing barcodes and have to be manually entered. To boot, they are mostly classical, which means they’re covered in text, often in different languages, etc., and it’s hard to pick out the information I need.)

    Customer: “Is there any way this can go any faster? I’m in quite a hurry.”

    (Yes, I’m sure he picked out all 50 friggin’ CDs in QUITE a hurry.)

    What The World Needs Now…

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work at an ice cream/burger joint with a drive thru. A mother comes through with a little girl in the back seat, I have just handed the mother her order when she pulls the car up a bit so I can directly hand the little girl her ice cream.)

    Me: “And here is your sundae!”

    Mother: “What do you say to the nice lady?”

    Little Girl: “I love you!”

    Me: *embarrassed and confused* “I love you, too.”

    (The mother laughs really hard while the little girl grins at me. My coworkers heard and laughed, too. She was the cutest little girl ever!)

    A Potentially Arresting Development

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I’m working behind concessions. We’re an independent theater so we offer beer and wine along with the usual items.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can I have a [Beer], please?”

    (I usually try to figure out if I need to ask for ID by seeing if they have grey hair or any kind of age marks, but this guy has a shaved head and a fairly youthful face.)

    Me: “Okay. Can I see some ID please?”

    (The guy pulls out his wallet. That’s when I spot his badge. My eyes go wide.)

    Customer: “I’m glad you asked. I didn’t want to have to arrest you.”

    (He pays for his beer and goes off to his movie. To this day, I’m not completely sure if he was kidding about arresting me.)

    In Too Deep (Voice)

    , | Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    (I’m a fairly feminine looking guy and my voice is relatively high. Sometimes I get mistaken for a girl. I’m checking a lady out at the register.)

    Customer: “You have beautiful eyes. Has anyone ever told you that?”

    Me: “Thank you! That’s very kind of you!”

    Customer: “I see you here all the time and you’re so friendly and fun to talk to. I’d love to speak with your manager about your excellent service!”

    Me: “Wow! Thank you so much! Unfortunately my manager isn’t in today, though. I think she’ll be in tomorrow.”

    Customer: “All right, then. I’ll give the store a call tomorrow to speak with her. What’s your name, Miss?”

    Me: “Sam.”

    Customer: “Your full name?”

    Me: “… Samuel.”

    Customer: “… Oh.”

    Me: *quietly, trying to make my voice a little deeper* “Would you like your receipt?”

    Time To Call It A Night

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I work the overnight shift. There is an older gentleman who says he can’t sleep at night so he often comes through my drive thru on his scooter to talk to someone. I feel bad for him at night and talk with him because there’s no way for him to get inside, but whenever I see him in the light of day he gets a lot creepier. It’s about 6:30 in the morning when I’m leaving work. My dad has come in to offer me a ride home when the customer rides into the parking lot.)

    Customer: *yelling across the parking lot to my dad* “Where are you going?! That’s my night time girlfriend!”

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