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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Pot Calling The Kettle Black, Slowly

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m working the drive-thru. I’ve just finished taking an order that took about a minute and a half to get down as the customer was unsure of what they wanted and ordered some items requiring clarifications. I talk to the next car in the line.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to—”

    Customer: “I’d just like to say that I waited too d*** long. It’s awful how long I’ve had to wait and I sat there waiting so long and all I want are two ice cream cones!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. Your total is [total] at the first window. Please—”

    (The customer drives forward as I’m still talking and ultimately ignores me.)

    Me: *at the window* “Hi, that’ll be [total].”

    Customer: “I didn’t mean to sound rude, but that wait was far too long!”

    Me: “And again, I’m sorry about that, but the wait is also a matter of the customer ahead of you.”

    Customer: “That was still too long! Do you know how much gas I probably wasted just sitting there, waiting? Any other business would be ashamed of making me wait that long!”

    (There is a pause as the customer then digs through her purse for her wallet. After maybe a minute, during which other customers have lined up behind her, waiting to pay:)

    Customer: “What was my total?”

    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 4

    | USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers

    (During a particularly busy evening, I am helping a customer find a costume for her son. The customer is taking a bit too long for the hulking behemoth of a man who is the next customer standing behind her. It gets to a point where he just can’t take it anymore.)

    Next Customer: “Hey! I need a costume. You better take down my order, now!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m with another customer right now.”

    Next Customer: “Well, then, what the h*** am I?”

    Me: “Next in line.”

    Related:
    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 3
    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 2
    In Line And Out Of Line

    Behavior Past The Tipping Point

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I’ve just finished cleaning the entire lobby before our next session goes in. I’m now back at the counter serving, with a large group of patrons waiting in line.)

    Me: “Is that everything?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but my drink is too full.”

    Me: “Oh, I’ll empty some out if you like.”

    Customer: “No, I’ll do it.” *tips half of her soda all over my clean bench and walks off*

    The Manager Has To Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

    | West Yorkshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (We are having a meeting about how many errors we are making on our tills. When we explain why these are happening, our boss seems to think we are all idiots and decides to spend a few hours watching what we do, starting off by showing us how to use the till properly.)

    Customer #1: “Can I have a medium latte please?”

    (My manager makes the drink and processes it on the till without a problem. I’m the first to go on the till afterwards.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, can I get a medium skinny latte.”

    (I make the drink, process it on the till, and tell the customer the price which is also written on the menu board behind me.)

    Customer #2: “Sorry, I don’t have enough. Can you make me a plain latte?”

    (I make the second drink for the customer and process this on the till, but it goes down as an error which causes my manager to glare at me. I tell the customer the new price.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, I don’t have enough for that either. Can I have a tea?”

    (I make a third drink and re-process this on the till making another error. The customer finally pays and leaves.)

    Manager: “Yeah. I’ll just tell head office this town is full of idiots…”

    Setting Daddy’s Little Girl Straight

    | New Haven, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I’m gay and working in a clothing store for teens/young adults. A roughly 15-year-old girl comes into the store. Her dad is sitting on a bench right outside the store in clear view of the check-out counter.)

    Girl: “Hey there. Do you offer discounts for pretty girls?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not. Unless you have a coupon, your total will be [total].”

    Girl: “Maybe you can give me a discount for a different kind of coupon?” *slowly pops open the top buttons of her shirt*

    Me: “Oh, honey, you’re gonna need a few more years and a surgery before that’s going to work on me.”

    Girl: *scowling* “Are you calling me flat-chested?”

    Me: “Different kind of surgery, honey.” *pointing out my rainbow bracelet*

    Girl: “Oh, ew!”

    (The girl’s dad has managed to storm right up next to his daughter without her noticing. He’s clearly fuming.)

    Girl’s Dad: “You better have a good reason for flashing this kid your cleavage, [Girl’s Full Name].”

    (He made her put all her clothes back and leave the store in tears.)


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