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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 4

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Religion

    Customer: *at my closed register* “Can you check me out?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m closing this register. The next register is open, and my associate can check you out.”

    Customer: *sighs* “Her line is too long. I need you to do it. I’m in a hurry.”

    Me: “I can’t. As soon as I opened this register to count the till, it’s officially closed. I can’t do anything about it. You’ll have to go to the next register.”

    Customer: *glares at me and leaves her full buggy in front of me* “I’m going to pray against you tonight.”

    Coworker: “I bet she will, too.”

    Related:
    Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 3
    Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 2
    Lack of Register Does Not Register

    They’re Magically Cannibalicious!

    | Northern Ireland, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a small store in Northern Ireland where we sell some American imports but for quite a bit more expensive prices.)

    Me: “That’ll be £6.95, ma’am.”

    Customer: “How dare you try to scam your customers?!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Selling Lucky Charms for seven dollars? That is preposterous. At home they are only two dollars in Target.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, we do have to import them… This IS Northern Ireland.”

    Customer: “This is part of Ireland?”

    Me: “I guess you could say that.”

    Customer: “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think about how I might be offending you! Don’t worry this cereal isn’t really leprechauns. We wouldn’t eat your relatives!” *pays and leaves without cereal*

    (My manager got a call later that night saying that the cereal was for me and that she was very sorry for ‘acting like some sort of cannibal.’)

    Super Friends

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (A group of friends of mine stop by the store where I work. As a joke all of them come to my lane to ‘make me earn my pay’ for the night. A customer with her son tries cutting them all and jumps in the front.)

    Customer: “Hurry up! I’m a very important person! I have things to do.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ll be glad to check you out before each of these gentlemen that you cut if you ask each of them what they do and honestly think that what you do is more important.”

    Customer: “FINE!” *turns to Friend #1* “And what do you do?”

    Friend #1: “I train soldiers at [local military base] who are willing to fight for your freedom.”

    Customer: “… Oh.” *turns to Friend #2* “What about you?”

    Friend #2: “I’m a firefighter.”

    Customer: “… Um.” *skips Friend #3 and #4 and goes to #5* “And you?”

    Friend #5: “I do cancer research.”

    (The customer gives up. I proceed to checkout everyone accordingly and the customer pays and bolts out the door.)

    Me: “Have I ever told you guys how proud I am to actually know you guys? Wonder why she didn’t ask [Friend #3] and [Friend #4]?”

    Friend #3: “Well… she’s a waitress where I eat lunch while I’m on patrol… so she knows I’m a cop!”

    Friend #4: “I… I can’t actually say!”

    Friend #5: “Fine! I will! Her son came up to [Friend #4] and asked how working at [medical practice where Friend #4 is shadowing] is going. She sees him at her kid’s pediatrician!”

    No Credit For Offering Help

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I am ringing up an older customer at a grocery store. When it is time to pay she swipes her debit card. She wants to use it as credit and in order to do this, you have to press the red button and hit credit when the machine asks for your pin. The customer keeps putting in her pin and then tells me she wants to do credit, so I have to cancel her card numerous times.)

    Me: “Ma’am, if you want to use your card as credit, press the red button when it asks for your pin then press credit.”

    (The customer ignores me and continues to type in her pin so I turn the machine around to help her.)

    Customer: “How about you stay back there and do what you’re supposed to do and let me do what I’m supposed to do! You obviously don’t know what you’re talking about!”

    (I sit there and watch her struggle with it for a couple more minutes.)

    Customer: “ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME OR WHAT?!”

    Double Take Required

    | Wausau, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m rather short, 5’3″, a bit heavy, and have short black hair and dark eyes. My coworker is lean, tall, almost 5’10″, and has red hair and hazel eyes. The only similarity we have is that we both wear glasses. Even on this day I was wear a black uniform top and she was wearing a pink one, in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month. We just switched off so she can go home.  I hop on the register.)

    Customer: *coming up to the checkout* “I couldn’t find it. Are you sure it’s there?”

    Me: “Um, what are you looking for?”

    Customer: *getting angry* “I already told you! Did you really just forget? Honestly!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I just started my shift.”

    Customer: “No! I just talked to you! You told me where I could find this!” *thrusts a small plastic bag with a jewelry finding in it*

    Me: “Oh! Jewelry findings are the first row of jewelry and go straight back to the wall, ma’am.”

    Customer: “That’s not what you said before!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I just got here.”

    Manager: *coming up since she heard the yelling* “Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “This cashier is being rude and is lying to me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry my coworker has told you the wrong section, but she was the one that helped you. I just started.”

    Customer: “Right there! Lying!”

    Manager: “Actually, she’s right. She did just clock in.”

    Customer: “Oh… well… You two just look so much alike!” *storms off*

    Manager: “Who did you relieve?”

    Me: “[Coworker].”

    Manager: “YOU TWO LOOK NOTHING ALIKE! AND SHE’S IN PINK!”


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