October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Dying For A Discount

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(An elderly lady comes up to my register with a full cart and automatically starts complaining about how much stuff she has, like that is anyone else’s fault but her own.. She is one of those lovely customers who puts one item on the counter at a time for me to scan, and complains the whole long while. I know she’s going to have a problem with her total, so I just go ahead and apply the senior discount without her asking; policy is for the customer to ask. After she complains about the total and I let her know how much I saved her, she says:)

Customer: “Honey, could you do any better than that?”

Me: “No, that’s the best discount I can give you this week.”

Customer: “Are you sure? This is just an awfully high total.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s the best I can do.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I just don’t like that total. And anyway, my doctor says I’m going to die soon, maybe tomorrow, and won’t be able to use all of this anyway, so is there anything else you can do?”

Me: “…We can put some of your items back?”

Puppy Purchase Power

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | At The Checkout, Pets & Animals

(I am a customer at a large pet store, waiting in line to buy my cat a new collar. Checking out before me is a man and his very young Husky puppy, who is on the floor while this exchange goes on.)

Cashier: “Okay, so, is this it for you?” *begins scanning various items*

Man: “Yep, I think this is it.”

(Meanwhile, the puppy has gotten himself into a bin of rope toys near the ground, pulling three of them out with his teeth and spinning around with them, having the time of his life.)

Cashier: *looks over the counter at the puppy* “So, did you want a rope toy?”

(The man looks down, seeing the pup surrounded by rope toys, looking very happy with himself.)

Man: *laughs* “Sure, let’s get two of those.”

(The pup got to take one out in his teeth. His cuteness completely made my day!)

Please Use It Anywhere But Here

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m working as a cashier when I have a customer who is ready to pay for her order.)

Me: “Your total is [total].”

Customer: “I have this [Other Retail Store] gift card I’d like to use first.”

Me: “Does it say Visa, Mastercard, etc. on the card? Those kinds of gift cards you can use here, otherwise it’s just a card for [Other Retail Store].”

Customer: “Well, this thing says I can use this card anywhere for gas and groceries.”

(The customer has a MasterCard credit card from the other retail store and it looks as though she received the gift card as a reward for getting enough points on it.)

Me: “That gift card is only useable at [Other Retail Store].”

Customer: “It says right here I can use this anywhere.”

(I look at the holder that the gift card was in. While it says you can use your card anywhere, it obviously applies to the credit card, not the gift card.)

Me: “No, it’s saying you can use your [Other Retail Store] credit card anywhere. I’m guessing you got this gift card as a reward from getting enough points on your credit card.”

Customer: “No, I can use this anywhere. Get me your manager.”

Me: “Okay, but I’m telling you right now she’s going to say the same thing I’m telling you.”

(I call my manager and ask her to come over immediately. The customer explains what her issue is.)

Manager: “Ma’am, my cashier is right. You can’t use this gift card here. It says here you can use your MasterCard anywhere and you got this gift card as reward to use at [Other Retail Store].”

(They go back and forth for a minute and for a brief second I think maybe the customer gets it… I was wrong.)

Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ll call [Other Retail Store] and prove that I can use this gift card here!”

They Must Be Quite New To This

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I am on my second shift at a till at a new coffee shop, where I am still unfamiliar with the system and therefore very slow. Thankfully, it is at night, so the lineup is usually only two or three people and the customers spend at most three minutes waiting in line.)

Me: *to approaching customer* “Hello! How may I help you?”

Customer: *he has been waiting in line for less than a minute* “What is taking so long? The store is never this slow.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I’m new to working here, so I’m still learning everything.”

Customer: “They hired MORE new people?”

Me: “Yes, that’s how stores work.”

Customer: “Well they need to stop hiring so many new people! Don’t you agree?”

Me: “…no?”

(Clearly he doesn’t understand how I got my job.)

God Looks All Ways

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Religion, Theme Of The Month

Me: “That’ll be [total].”

Customer: *looks through purse* “Oh… I seem to be short five dollars. I’m sure God wouldn’t mind if you looked the other way on that.”

Me: “I think God would understand I could get fired for ‘looking the other way,’ so why can’t you?”

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