Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Small Minds Can’t Do Small Print

, | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I work for a big fast food company and occasionally we have coupons for which no one bothers to read the fine print, which says to let the order taker know of the coupon prior to ordering.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, can I get this meal?”

(Because I have worked for so long and know most of the prices I don’t always punch the orders in right away which comes in handy when the people don’t tell me about the coupon beforehand.)

Me: “Okay your total is [total]. Please drive ahead.”

Customer: “But I have a coupon!”

Me: “Sure. In the future please let me know before your order.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(Customer drives off and pulls up to my window.)

Me: “Okay your new total is [total]; may I have the coupon, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have it.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I cannot give you a discount without the coupon.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Well, my management requires me to collect the coupons.”

Customer: “But I can print them online as much as I want!”

Me: “True. However I do need to collect the coupon to give you the discount.”

Customer: “This is bull-s**t! I don’t understand why I can’t get the d*** discount!”

(I try to explain it the concept in the simplest terms I can think of.)

Me: “Think about it this way: Can you get into a concert without the ticket?”

Customer: “I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHING! I’M NOT SOME DUMB TEENAGER LIKE YOU DOING SOME S*** MINIMUM WAGE JOB!”

(Clearly natural selection has stopped since people like this are still around…)

Not Promoting Decent Behavior

, | TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am working the front at a fast food restaurant. I am ringing up two ladies (mother and daughter) up. They are regulars.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Daughter: “Hi, I have this coupon: buy one get one free breakfast sandwiches.”

Me: “All right, which sandwiches would you like?”

(They order two sandwiches, one more expensive than the other. I promo the more expensive one off.)

Daughter: *to mother* “Haha, she only charged us $1.69!”

Mother: *mockingly* “Smart employees!” *snorts*

Me: “I did it to be nice, but I’m definitely not doing it for you again.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 36

| Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(My holiday job is at a small bookshop in my town. We have a gift card system connected to another major retailer of books and DVDs. One day a man attempted to buy $50 worth of books with a $50 gift card that had only $1 left on it.)

Customer: “I’d like to pay for these using this gift card.”

Me: “Certainly.”

(I take the gift card and glance at the back, where it is written underneath the original $50 that he’s spent $49 using the card and has $1 left.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but you only have $1 left on your gift voucher.”

Customer: “What do you mean? It says it’s worth $50!”

Me: “Yes, but you’ve already spent $49 in a previous purchase using this card.”

Customer: “But it says $50!”

(My boss realises that I have a difficult customer and she comes over to help.)

Boss: “I’m sorry, sir, but it seems like there is only $1 on your gift card. However, we will contact the [Other Retailer]’s help desk for you and just check that it’s not a mistake.”

(I call the help desk while my boss attempts to explain the concept of using up money on a gift voucher to the man, who still doesn’t seem to understand and continues to repeat that it says $50 on the back and that someone must be trying to trick him. The help desk tells me that there is, in fact, only $1 left on his gift card.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but there is actually only $1 left on your gift voucher.”

Boss: “I’m very sorry, but there’s nothing we can do.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Why would they write $50 on the back if it was going to run out?”

Me: “Because you can only spend up to $50 using this card once, just like using a real $50 note. Once you’ve spent it, it’s been spent and you can’t get it back.”

(The man paid the remaining $49 but continued to complain about the gift card for the entire purchase. To our relief he soon left, but was obviously still upset at the revelation that money was not, in fact, unlimited.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33

You’d Be A Fool Not To

| Bay Area, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(A woman and her six-year-old son walk into my store. She asks my coworker for help, while her son makes his way over to a case containing common and semi-precious stones. They are the only two in the store, so I have fun showing him some of the stones. He has picked up an egg-shaped piece of pyrite – also known as fool’s gold.)

Son: “Mom! Can I have it?!”

Mom: “I don’t know, baby. How much is it?”

Me: “It’s [price under $5], ma’am.”

Son: “So can I, Mama? Pleeeaaassseee?”

Mom: “Why do you want it so badly?”

Son: *looks thoughtful for a moment* “Because it’s AMAZING, and I want to fill my room with AMAZING things.”

Mom: *almost under her breath* “Well, I don’t see how I can argue with that.”

Acting Out Of Border

| Kehl, Germany | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(I am shopping in a store in Germany, really close to the French border, and only one full line is open. An elderly woman with only one melon asks the cashier if they could open a second line, which they do. When the second line opens, another woman with a full cart rushes in the other line to be first. The elderly women with the melon is second, and I am third.)

Elderly Woman: *in German* “Please, I only have one item to buy. May I go through?”

Other Woman: *in French* “I don’t understand what you say. Please stay behind.”

Me: *in French* “She just wanted to go through since she only has one item.”

Other Woman: *in French* “Aw, what a shame. I was here first! And she could at least speak to me in French! Tell her she has to stay behind like everyone else would have.”

Elderly Woman: *in French too* “Are you kidding me? You French people cross the border to do grocery shopping here and WE have to speak in French? Also, I was waiting in the other line and asked for a new line. You just rushed like you were the only one in the store. How impolite is that?”

Other Woman: *still in French* “I don’t believe how rude those Germans are. You can be assured that I won’t shop here again!”

(The cashier finally let the elderly woman pass first, while the other woman was grumbling. Hopefully she’ll be more cooperative next time.)

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