• Gloating About Gluten
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    A Weighty Party-Trick

    | UK | At The Checkout, Money, Tourists/Travel

    (My parents run a general grocery store on a camping/caravanning site. I am 15 and work there. When mum goes on her break and I am alone, I love to watch the shoppers as they walk around putting items in their basket. I know the price of every item in the store so I add it up in my head. When they come to pay I ‘heft’ the basket – as if I am weighing it – and then announce the price.)

    Me: “That will be £4.22.”

    Customer: *gives me an odd look*

    (I enter the items into the till, and it comes to exactly the same price.)

    Customer: *looks amazed, and silently hands over the money*

    (I overhear the customer talk to their partner outside the shop.)

    Customer: “Do you know what that young lad in the shop can do? Amazing!”

    Not Quite Feeling It

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “Large latte to go.”

    (Well, I was feeling large latte to go that day, too.)

    Her Learning Doesn’t Hold Much Coin

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Your total is $10.60.”

    Customer: *with an accent that sounds like she’s from around Manchester, England* “Okay, here’s a ten, and…” *pours her change on the counter and starts going through them* “…Is this twenty-five? No, this is five… and this is ten? No, this one’s twenty-five cents… How much is this one? Oh, I’m not good with this money. I can’t tell what anything is.”

    Me: “No problem. I’ll count out sixty for you. So, are vacationing here in the USA?”

    Customer: “No, I’ve lived here for ten years…”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (A woman and her friend come up to my register to pay for her rather large order. She hands me her credit card and continues talking to her friend.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, miss, your card was declined.”

    (She glares at me before returning to her friend.)

    Me: “Let me try it again. Still coming back declined.”

    Customer: “How can that be? Are you sure you’re doing it right?”

    Me: “It’s hard to do it wrong. I’ll key it in manually. Maybe my reader is broken.”

    (I manually key in the card; it gets declined again.)

    Me: “I’m sorry miss, your card was declined again. Do you ha—”

    Customer: *to friend* “You know? I spend more money in this place than this guy makes in a week.”

    Me: “That may be the reason your credit card is maxed out.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 36

    No Eggo For The Vego

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am serving on the registers over breakfast, when a female customer approaches.)

    Customer: “I’m vego.”

    Me: *realising she means she’s a vegetarian* “Umm… okay?”

    Customer: “So I’ll have a bacon and egg muffin with no egg.”

    Me: “A bacon and egg muffin without egg?”

    Customer: “Yep, I’m vego.”

    Me: “So you want the bacon on the muffin”?

    Customer: “Yep, but no egg. I’m vego.”

    Me: “…”

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