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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Their Logic Is Priceless

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a retail store that has deals where if you buy two of certain items, you get both at a discounted price. You cannot buy only one and get it at half the price.)

    Customer: *shows me [Brand] body wash & [Brand] deodorant* “These are the same price and are on for the same ‘buy 2 for $4′ deal. It’ll still go through, right?”

    Me: “We will find out once I scan them in.”

    (I scan each item in individually and no deal shows up. So I ring each item in twice before having to call price check and sure enough, the deal comes off separately PER ITEM.)

    Me: “Sir, it appears the deal is for each item individually. These two cannot be combined.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! They’re the same price and on for the same deal. I should be able to mix and match them!”

    Me: “Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way, unless it’s a deal on the brand. And this time, it’s on the objects. You’d have to buy two deodorants or two body washes to get the deal.”

    Customer: “But that’s ridiculous! THEY’RE THE SAME PRICE ON FOR THE SAME DEAL! Can’t you do anything about that?”

    Me: “Sir, I cannot. The deal is on the items, and not the brand. If you’d like, I can ring you in for two of each and you can pick them up before you leave.”

    Customer: “But if you have a deal on for chips, you can buy one ketchup and one BBQ and still get the deal! Why can’t I do that here?”

    Me: “…because those are both chips. These are not the same item.”

    Customer: “I get that… but they’re the same price!”

    (This went on for a couple more minutes, him using the same logic. He didn’t end up buying the body wash or the deodorant. Moral of the story: you should be able to buy one yoghurt and one dish soap for a discounted price, providing they’re on for the same sale price.)

    Driving Through Adequate Fraud Prevention

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer walks up to the till. I’m watching the conversation from the kitchen nearby.)

    Customer: *to the cashier* “Could I speak to your manager, please?”

    Manager: *hearing her* “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I just came through the drive-thru a few minutes ago, and you forgot my two angus burgers.”

    Manager: “I very much doubt that.”

    (The manager points out the window, where the entire drive-thru and much of the parking lot have been torn up and blocked off for reconstruction. The sound of power tools can be heard even inside the restaurant.)

    Customer: “Um…” *stammers a bit before scurrying out of the store*

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33

    | Sydney, NSW Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I am finalising a sale with a customer. We have store cards for customers, which give discounts and special offers.)

    Me: “Do you have a VIP card?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Would you like one?”

    Customer: “No, thanks.” *swipes credit card*

    Me: “Sorry, but your card has been declined. Do you have another way of paying?”

    Customer: “No. I’ll come back.” *stops for moment* “I think I will sign up for the store card.”

    (I pass the form to her, fill in her details on the computer, and hand her the store discount card. She hands it straight back to me.)

    Customer: “Use this to pay for my things.”

    Me: “What? No, this isn’t a bank card. It’s a discount card.”

    Customer: “I do not understand. You give me card. I pay for things with card.”

    Me: “This is a store card for customers to get discounts and rewards with.”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “No, you can’t make payments with this card. Go to your bank about your credit card.”

    Related:

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30

    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 14

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Books & Reading

    (I’m working at the register when a regular customer (who is a man) approaches me.)

    Regular: “[My Name], I have a question for you.”

    Me: “Yeah, what is it?”

    Regular: “Um… have you read Twilight?”

    Me: “No, I haven’t actually read it.”

    Regular: “Oh, thank God! I like you.”

    Related:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 13
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 12
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 11

    IP Address:

    Go From Feeling Low To Feeling J-Lo

    | Cornelius, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (I am checking out a customer and her young son.)

    Me: “Did you find everything all right?”

    Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

    (Meanwhile her little boy is staring at me open mouthed. I figure it’s because I’m a little shorter, not as skinny as his mom, and have thick poofy hair that looks like it belongs to a witch. But I smile at him.)

    Me: “Hi!”

    Little Boy: *in awe* “Mommy! She’s pretty like Jennifer Lopez!”

    Me: *stares back in shock as my heart melts* “Aww! Compliment lying already! You’re going to make your girlfriend very happy when you get older!”

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