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  • Raise A Broken Glass To That Employee
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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Pounding Out A Deal

    | UK | At The Checkout, Money

    (I work in a charity shop. Everything is very cheap but we also have an ‘everything £1’ rail for clothing with minor issues; small marks, loose buttons etc. or for clothing that’s been in the shop for a while. A customer comes to the counter with a few items from the £1 rail.)

    Customer: “This has a mark. Look.”

    (She points out a tiny black speck, like a dot from a pen.)

    Me: “Yes, I see. It’s £1.”

    Customer: “I don’t know if the mark will wash out.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “Can I get a discount?”

    Me: “It was on the £1 rail. It’s already discounted.”

    Customer: “But it has a mark!”

    Me: “Yes, that’s why it’s only £1.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just take something off for the mark?”

    Me: “Uh, no. It’s £1. That IS the discount.”

    Customer: *sighing heavily* “Oh, all right, then. I’ll take it. I just hope it comes out.”

    (The kicker? Her total was just £4, and she had to sort through a bunch of £20 notes in her purse until she found a £5 to pay with!)

    The Breast Awareness, Part 2

    | SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    (I work in the store my parents own, when my father, who works at a hardware store up the road, comes in for lunch like he usually does. He proceeds to match stories with me about what we call ‘Thickhead Thursday’ customers. He tells me about a particularly rude man who abused all the assistants in his hardware store. No more than five minutes after, said customer walks into our store.)

    Customer: *looks at dad* “OH, GOD!”

    Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *still looking at my father* “I bought this watch band and I need a new crimp clip for it.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir. We don’t keep them, but I can give you the maker’s details and you can contact him. He lives here in town.”

    (The customer finally looks at me and notices I have decent sized breasts. His eyes do not move from them for the rest of the conversation.)

    Customer: “Thank you for your help. You’re a lovely girl.”

    (He leaves.)

    Dad: “Shame, I wanted him to have a go at you.  I wanted to tell him to f*** off. Why didn’t he?”

    Me: “I have breasts.”

    Related:
    The Breast Awareness

    I Scream For A Crouton

    | Cambridge, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work in a coffee shop inside a bookshop. It is always very quiet in there and we are rarely very busy but the shop is popular with mothers and young children. There are two parents with their two young daughters. The girls are chatting amongst themselves but not being especially obtrusive. Two older ladies approach me at the counter.)

    Old Lady #1: “Two mushroom soups, please,”

    (I begin dishing up and the second old lady goes to get spoons from the stand which is about six feet away from the counter.)

    Old Lady #1: “Those little ones are being awfully loud aren’t they? We came here for a bit of peace and quiet.”

    Me: “I am sorry, Madam, but they’re only wee, and they don’t seem to be bothering anyone else. Now, would you like croutons with your soup?”

    Old Lady #1: “Well, I certainly would and er… Hang on a tick dear—” *at the top of her voice* “MARTHA! MARTHA!”

    (Old Lady #2 doesn’t react.)

    Old Lady #1: *even louder* “MARTHA!”

    Old Lady #2: *turns around* “WHAT?!”

    Old Lady #1: “DO YOU WANT CROUTONS?!”

    Old Lady #2: “WHAT?”

    Old Lady #1: “CROUTONS, MARTHA!”

    It’s The Principle Of The Matter

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, School

    (I am second in line, and it’s early morning on a Thursday. The area has just gotten a severe weather warning about freezing rain and hail. In front of me is a chipper customer chatting with the clerk as she pays for her 40-oz bottles of malt liquor.)

    Customer: “I got four of these. Does the two for five bucks still apply?”

    Clerk: “Sure does. You got the day off, do you?”

    Customer: “Yep, I work for the school district, and school’s been cancelled! I’m gonna get shit-faced before noon!”

    Clerk: *slightly shocked* “Okay, well, that’s $10.20. Have fun.”

    Customer: “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not teaching your kids. I’m the principal!”

    Phoning In The Irony

    | Michigan, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology

    (My aunt is teaching me how to do dispatch at the gas station she owns, for whenever they’re busy. I’m too young to sell any cigarettes to a customer and someone else has to do it. If she’s busy or needs to help a mechanic she lets me run the front as long as I don’t sell any cigarettes, so I need to call for help on that a lot. A woman and her young girl walk in the store. The woman is on her phone playing a popular game.)

    Little Girl: “Mommy! Guess what I learned at school today?!”

    Woman: “Huh? Oh, yeah that’s great, [Little Girl].” *continues to play on phone*

    Little Girl: “Mommy! I asked you to guess! It’s really fun; I promise!”

    Woman: “Be QUIET! I’m busy! You can go pick up a piece a candy or something. I’m gonna pay for gas.”

    Little Girl: “Okay!” *heads off, happy again, to get candy*

    Woman: *walks up to our counter* “I need $20 on pump four, please.” *taps on phone*

    Me: “All right, I’ll—” *I get a phone call from my aunt saying she won’t be back for a while and that I should call a coworker to help me with any cigarette sales* “—Okay, I’ll call her right away. Thank you.” *click*

    Woman: *has put her phone away* “I find it very rude that you would talk on your cellphone while dealing with a customer! You young people must have those d*** things glued to your hands or something. You won’t even take the time to do your job!”

    Little Girl: “Mommy, I got a [Candy Bar].”

    Woman: “Yeah, okay.”

    Me: “I’ll… just ring those up for you. That’ll be [total]. Have a nice day.”

    Woman: *back to her game* “Huh? Oh, yeah. You, too. Come on, [Little Girl].”

    (Honestly there have been dumber customers, but this really got on my nerves.)

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