Featured Story:
  • Never Too Late (Or Early) To Apologize
    (2,395 thumbs up)
  • January Theme Of The Month: Prank Calls!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Pot Calling The Kettle Black… Eventually

    | San Diego, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Time

    (I’m helping a customer who is picking up an Internet order. One of the items was damaged so he’s trying to decide if he wants to take it or return it. Another customer comes in line and is waiting no more than 60 seconds.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Can you just do my return since this guy is obviously not ready?!”

    (I look at the customer I’m helping and he nods at me to go ahead and help her.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. Let me help you over here.”

    Customer: “Good, I’m in a hurry and some people just want to take their time when others are ready to go! Now, let me just find my receipt.”

    (She spent the next three minutes digging through her purse and a crazy stack of receipts. Glad her time is more important than everyone else’s.)

    Casting The First Stone Cold Glare

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Religion, Top

    (I am visiting two good Jewish friends. They are gay men and engaged. We’re at a coffee shop for breakfast.)

    Friend #1: *holding Friend #2′s hand* “Hey [Friend #2], what do you want?”

    Friend #2: “[Store Brand Drink], babe.”

    Customer #1: *spies them holding hands* “You should be ashamed of acting like that in public! There are children and God-fearing people in here! Couple of sick f**s…”

    Friend #1: “We’re not f**s. We’re gay. Last time I checked, we’re not cigarettes or bundles of twigs.”

    Customer #1: “You’re going to Hell for being a couple of sinners! You’re going to burn!”

    Friend #2: “So what are you drinking, [My Name]?”

    Me: “[Store Brand Drink], please!”

    Friend #2: *to Customer #1* “What about you, mister? What are you drinking?”

    Customer #1: *splutters* “I am not accepting charity from some dirty, sick homosexual!”

    Friend #1: “If your Jesus was brave enough to dine with prostitutes, the least you could do is accept our ‘charity.’”

    Customer #1: “F*** you!”

    Friend #1 & #2: *deadpan* “No, thanks. You’re not my type.”

    Customer #1: *screams* “This whole place is going to Hell!” *storms out*

    Customer #2: *starts clapping* “That… was… AWESOME! Please, let me pay for your order!”

    Me: “Nah, thanks. I’ll get it for them.”

    Manager: “No, you won’t. This order is on the house!”

    A Lot Of Hot Air Over Very Little Gas

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top, Transportation

    (When customers pre-pay for gas with a credit card, but their vehicle won’t take as much as they’ve put on it, the system automatically refunds the remaining portion onto the card that was used. This conversation takes place near the end of a 10-hour shift.)

    Customer: *in a not-so-nice tone* “I sent a kid in here earlier to get gas and he only pumped $17, but I was charged for $25. Why was I over-charged?”

    Me: *looks at his receipt* “Oh, well, it looks like they pre-paid for gas and it was charged to a credit card. The remaining portion would have been automatically refunded to your card.”

    Customer: “I need a receipt showing that it refunded.”

    Me: “I am so sorry, sir, but I can only print receipts for the past 10 transactions, and it looks like the kid you sent in got gas well over two hours ago. There isn’t a way for me to pull it up.”

    Customer: “Well how the h*** am I supposed to know that it refunded? How do I know you didn’t steal my money?”

    Me: “As soon as the nozzle on the pump is hung back up, it refunds automatically. You could actually call your credit company right now, and it would show that the balance is there.”

    Customer: “No! I will not call them! I want you to show me proof right now that you didn’t steal my money!”

    Me: “As I just said, there is nothing I can do. It’s been several hours since this transaction took place, so I can’t look it up. I assure you, if you would just call…”

    Customer: “I need you to write down that I only pumped $17 worth of gas and sign it so I can dispute it when it charges me $25 on my bill!”

    Me: “Sir, I have no idea how much gas you pumped, so I will not sign anything saying you only pumped $17. Furthermore, you’ve been yelling at me for over three minutes during a very busy time and I’m the only person here to ring out the 12 people behind you. I’ve told you that all you have to do is call the number on the back of the card to verify that you were only charged for what you pumped, and yet you’re still unsatisfied. The only other thing I can offer is that you call our customer service center and file a complaint. The number, and our store number are posted right beside you, and my name is on your receipt from earlier.”

    Customer: *shoves a pen and his receipt in my face* “I’m not leaving until you write a statement about my gas and sign it!”

    Me: “If you don’t leave, I will call the police to escort you from the premise.”

    (Just then, one of our regulars, who is a police officer and in uniform, walks in. I sigh in relief, but the customer doesn’t notice.)

    Customer: “You WILL write down that I only pumped $17. I’m not going anywhere!”

    Me: “Hey, [Officer], could you do me a favor?”

    Officer: “That depends… What is it?”

    (The customer looks over at the officer, back at me, and scrambles out the door.)

    Me: “Never mind; he left on his own.”

    Closing Time Crime

    , | WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a fast food restaurant that closes at 9:30 pm. A customer comes in just before then, as I am helping close up for the day.)

    Customer: “Hi. I ordered an eight-piece fried chicken during my lunch break, and got baked instead.”

    Me: “All right, sir. I’m terribly sorry. Do you want a refund or a correct order?”

    Customer: “I’d like what I ordered, please. The eight-piece fried chicken meal.”

    Me: “Sure, sir. We’re about to close, so at this point at night, we aren’t making the fried chicken anymore.”

    Customer: “What? But you’re a fried chicken place!”

    Me: “Yes, we are, but we’re also closing for the night.”

    Customer: “Okay, so, can I get an order that’s the same amount of money?”

    Me: “No problem. I just need the receipt and I can get you that, sir.”

    Customer: “The receipt? Oh, I think I threw that away.”

    (I look at him apologetically. I cannot correct an order or give a refund without the receipt.)

    Me: “What? Sir, I cannot give you your meal without the receipt.”

    Customer: “What? It’s just a piece of paper, I had the wrong order earlier and now I want what I paid for!”

    Me: “Sir, we fill out hundreds of orders around lunch time and I would not be able to find your order among them.”

    Customer: “I WANT MY FRIED CHICKEN!”

    Me: “Sir, please lower your voice. We don’t have the fried chicken, and without your receipt I can’t give you a refund.”

    Customer: “[Other Fast Food Chain] doesn’t need receipts to give me my food!”

    Me: “Sir, I am fairly sure they do. Look, it’s closing time but I can try to look through our computer system to find your order.”

    (He suddenly backs down a bit, from menacing to nervous.)

    Customer: “No, no, that’s okay. I’ll just go get dinner somewhere else.”

    (He leaves quickly. My manager walks over to see what it was about, and after I tell him, he shakes his head.)

    Manager: “I’m willing to bet there was no receipt, and he was just after a free meal!”

    The Breast Awareness

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque

    (During October we have a Halloween costume contest at work. I work at a family-friendly restaurant and my costume is not very revealing. I am in an alcove putting an order into the computer when a customer with an alcoholic beverage in his hand walks up to me and blocks me in the alcove.)

    Customer: *looking at my chest* “I just wanted to check.”

    (Thinking he wanted to look at my name tag in order to vote for my costume, I turned towards him.)

    Customer: *gesturing towards my breasts* “Nice.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “You’re SUPPOSED to say THANK YOU!”

    Page 31/233First...2930313233...Last