July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Talking Dirt About The ID

| USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Underaged

(I wear glasses, but I am nearsighted, which means I can read things up close but not far away. A man with a self-important smile comes to check out.)

Me: “ID for the alcohol, please.”

(He hand it to me with a flourish. It is a very dirty driver’s license. I cannot read nor see the picture or information on it because of all the grime.)

Me: *squinting*

Man: “You should put on your glasses! Blind as a bat! They’re hanging around your neck!”

Me: “I am nearsighted; I can see just fine up close. The reason I can’t read this is because it’s VERY dirty!”

Everyone Else: *stops and stares at the man*

Man: *hangs head and quietly pays*

(The man complained later to the manager, saying that I was rude. Luckily, I was there when he called the manager, and I said ‘for telling the truth?’ and he quickly hung up.)

Expressing About The Express Lane

| Iron Mountain, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I am working as a cashier in a lane that is clearly marked for customers with 20 items or fewer. A customer comes to my lane with a cart teeming with items. I begin ringing her up. About halfway through the transaction, she looks at me.)

Customer: “There just isn’t enough room to put all of my items on this counter! Why isn’t there more space for me to put my items?”

(I could not even form a sentence to respond. After her receipt printed, I checked the item count on her receipt – 110 items!)

O, Canaduh, Part 3

| Montreal, QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am working as cashier with a very long line of customers, on a busy day in downtown Montreal.)

Customer: ”I’m from the US and I’m buying this for my son. He’ll be so happy! Can you gift wrap it?”

Me: ”Absolutely, ma’am. You can insert your card to pay.”’

Interac Machine: ”Beeeep!”

Me: ”Sorry, ma’am, the transaction was cancelled. Can you please insert your card again?”

Interact Machine: ”Beeep!”

Me: ”Sorry, ma’am, I don’t know what is going on. I’m going to do the transaction on the other machine over there.” *customers in line are getting a little nervous*

Customer: ”Well, I don’t understand. It cancels every time I choose CAN for Canadian dollars ”

Me: ”Ma’am… CAN stands for cancel…”

Customer: ”Oh, that’s why! I never would have guessed!”

Related:
O, Canaduh, Part 2
O, Canaduh

Doesn’t Fit Well With Me

| Grandville, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(My mom knows the coupon troubles I have with other customers, and as a result, knows our coupon policies well. She was shopping during the Black Friday weekend when this happened.)

Customer In Front Of My Mother: “Have you heard about the $10 off coupon?

Mother: “Yes, but I don’t have it with me. It’s no big deal.”

Customer In Front Of My Mother: “Neither do I, but if you throw a big enough fit, the cashier will just give it to you!”

Refunder Blunder, Part 13

| Hampshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I work in a clothes shop. Our returns policy is printed on the back of our receipt: 28 days for full price or 7 days if the item is sale. If over that amount of time, the item may be exchanged if it is unworn. A customer comes in with an item to return. I notice a problem.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to either exchange this or put it on a gift card, as you’ve gone over the seven days.”

Customer: *patronisingly* “Sweetie, there is a month for returns.”

Me: “28 days technically, but yes, there is usually an extended time for full price items. However this is sale. There are only 7 days for that.”

Customer: “No one told me!”

Me: “Well, I can’t say either way as this top wasn’t bought from our store, but I can say it is written in the back.” *I show her*

Customer: *scathingly* “Like anyone reads them!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it is written down for you to read.”

(She starts creating a scene, saying how the customer is always right and how useless I am. Usually, when a customer does this they get what they want, so i check her receipt to see if she is in date for the full price return.)

Me: “Erm, excuse me?”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “This was bought in early December. It’s now February. You’ve had this item for two months now, so even if it was full price, you wouldn’t be able to get a full refund.”

Customer: “Uh… really?”

Me: “Yep, see?” *I show her the receipt* “You bought it the 2nd December and it’s now the 6th February.”

(There is a pause.)

Me: “So… exchange or gift card?”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 12
Refunder Blunder, Part 11
Refunder Blunder, Part 10

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