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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    The Not So Smooth Path To A Smoothie

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work at a coffee shop that also sells smoothies. On the smoothie menu board there is a note saying all smoothies come with a banana, protein, etc.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like two strawberry smoothies and these bananas please.”

    Me: “Sure thing. Would you like a bag for your bananas today?”

    Customer: “No, could you actually add them to the smoothies for me?”

    Me: “All smoothies come with a banana. Did you want to add an extra banana?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, I thought the sign meant we had to purchase our own bananas for the smoothies.”

    (I give him a refund for the bananas and he leaves happily while my crew and I try to hold back laughter.)

    Not Noteworthy Enough For A Return

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I work as a cashier in a drugstore. I see a customer come in the front door empty handed as he goes to the back of the store. He comes to me with a pricey protein pack.)

    Customer: “I want my money back for that protein pack. It’s $60.”

    Me: “Do you have your invoice?”

    Customer: “No, I forgot it at home.”

    Me: “I can’t pay you back.”

    Customer: “Keep it for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

    (The customer comes back 15 minutes later.)

    Customer: “I didn’t find the receipt, but I’m going to buy it instead.”

    Me: “It’s going to cost $60.”

    (The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

    Me: “I can’t accept that. It’s a fake.”

    Customer: “No, I’m sure it’s real. How can you tell?”

    Me: “You only printed it on one side, and it’s black and white.”

    Time To Play The Trump Card

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I am at the register at work putting through a sale. The customer’s card has declined twice but instead of getting embarrassed or giving me another card like most people, this guy decides to get angry.)

    Customer: “No, I don’t want to use another card!”

    Me: “Then how would you like to pay sir? I do accept cash.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! Your machine is broken!”

    Me: “I assure you it isn’t broken. The person before you paid by card and it went through perfectly.”

    Customer: “Then you’re not doing your job!”

    Me: *losing the friendly retail face and looking him dead in the eye* “Sir, I’ve worked in retail for 10 years. I have bought goods and services for 15 years. I know how to use an eftpos machine. I cannot be held responsible for your card. Perhaps you should contact your bank on Monday?”

    (The customer leaves in a huff after throwing some cash at me.)

    Next Person In Line: “Jesus, what was HIS problem? It’s an eftpos machine, not a freakin’ tardis!”

    A Good Sign

    , | San Jose, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    (I pull into a drive-thru for a quick lunch. The cashier greets me and asks for my order, and just as I’m about to give it to her, I notice they have a ‘sorry, cash only’ sign taped up next to the speaker.)

    Me: “Yes, I’d like a— Oh, hold on, I just noticed your sign. Let me make sure I actually have cash on me before I order.” *checks wallet*

    Cashier: “No, sorry, our card reader’s down— Wait, what? You READ the sign? I’m not sure that’s actually ever happened before!”

    The Gift Of Friendship

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    Customer: “I am going to pay with a gift card.”

    Me: “Okay, swipe it there.”

    Customer: *swipes gift card*

    Me: “Would you like me to take the gift card for you? There’s nothing left on it.”

    Customer: “No, I like to keep them on my desk.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “I keep them on my desk because when I invite my friends over, I see who’s really my friend. If the gift card is still there when they leave, they are a true friend. If not, I know to have a shotgun waiting for them when they come back!”

    Me: “… Good idea?”


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