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  • Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Children Can Man-age To Listen

    , | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m a female-to-male transgender person who is not on hormones yet; despite this, I don’t have much of a problem with pronoun mistakes. The customer I have is a middle-aged woman and her young son, about six or seven.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How are you today?”

    Woman: “I’m good.” *to her son* “Tell the lady what you want!”

    Son: “Momma, that’s a man.”

    Woman: “Shhh! Don’t say that! You’ll make her feel bad.”

    Me: “Actually, he’s right. I am a boy.”

    Woman: *ignoring me* “I can see why you’re confused, though.” *to me* “You need to start wearing makeup or something. My son is getting confused!”

    Me: “Ma’am, your son is correct.”

    Woman: *still ignoring what I’m saying* “And would it kill you to grow your hair out? Everyone’s going to think that you’re a lesbian!”

    Me: *getting fed up* “Ma’am. I. Am. A. Man.”

    Woman: “Why didn’t you say so?”

    Son: “He did. You didn’t listen, mommy.”

    Me: “Look, it’s not really a big deal. It happens all the time—”

    Woman: “Then grow some facial hair or something! I can’t tell what you are!”

    Me: “Um…”

    Son: “Mommy, stop being stupid!”

    (The son said his order and they checked out. The woman was completely silent after the son’s comment and she booked it out of the store.)

    Hot On The Cent

    | Rio Grande, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (We sell candy 10 for 1$, which equals 10 cents each. A lady walks up with her husband and child. I start ringing them up and the customer tosses a bag of candy onto my register.)

    Customer: “I do not know how many is in there.”

    Me: “Okay, I will finish ringing your items and count these last.”

    Customer: “Good.”

    (I am just about done when I dump out the bag of candy and start counting.)

    Me: “Okay, you have 34 pieces of candy which will be 3 dollars and 40 cents for the candy.”

    Customer: “Wait, it said 10 for a dollar. Should i go get more?”

    Me: “That is entirely up to you as they are still 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

    Customer: “But it says 10 for a dollar. I WANT THAT PRICE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you are getting that price. It’s 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

    Customer: “BUT I WANT 10 FOR A DOLLAR!”

    Me: “Ma’am, what is 100 divided my 10?”

    Customer: “10, you stupid girl.”

    Me: “Okay. Well a dollar is 100 pennies and its ten pieces of candy for one dollar. Each piece of candy will be 10 cents. Therefore, you are getting the sale price.”

    (She then started screaming at me for making her seem like an idiot in front of her family. She then threw her credit card at me and stormed out of the store. Her husband stayed behind to apologize and say thank you for putting up with her.)

    In Desperate Need Of A Guide

    , | Kalix, Sweden | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

    (I’m working at a small fast food restaurant where we also have some assorted snacks, magazines, and newspapers. An elderly customer walks in.)

    Customer: “Oh, this TV-guide is old!”

    Me: “It is? Can I take a look? No, it’s the current one, till the fourth of December.”

    Customer: “But it came yesterday!”

    Me: “Yes, it did.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to pay for the day I missed! Remove that day from the price!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”

    Customer: *angrily* “But it’s old! I shouldn’t pay for a day I can’t use!”

    Me: “I don’t control what day you buy your TV-guide on…”

    (She eventually bought the TV-guide and left in a snit, slamming the door behind her.)

    Mocking Beliefs Will Cost You

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    Customer: “Hey, how much is this?”

    (I don’t know the price either, but there is a haphazardly placed sign in front of the item that vaguely matches its description.)

    Me: *looking at sign* “I believe it’s $49.99.”

    Customer: “You BELIEVE? Can you go check the actual price?”

    Me: “Why certainly, sir.”

    (I grab the item and bring it to a cash register to scan it. It comes up as $89.99.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, I checked the price for you. It’s actually $89.99.”

    Customer: “What?! But that sign says $49.99!”

    Me: “But sir, you very obviously had doubts about this sign, because you asked me for the price.”

    Customer: “But you even said it was $49.99!”

    Me: “No sir, I said that I BELIEVED it to be $49.99. You didn’t like that answer, so I went to check the price like you’ve asked me to. All I’ve done was follow your directions.”

    Customer: “D*** it! Me and my big mouth!”

    (He still bought it, though. After all, isn’t the customer ‘always right’?)

    Not A Green Machine

    | Aurora, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (At my store our pin-pad works a bit differently if you want credit instead of debit. You slide your card and then are prompted to enter your PIN. If you want credit you hit the green button – labeled CREDIT – as the red button cancels the transaction.)

    Customer: *slides card and hits cancel* “Oh, I’m sorry I think I canceled it.”

    Me: “That’s okay. Just slide your card again and hit the green button for credit.”

    Customer: “Okay, thanks.” *does so*

    (I finish the transaction and hand her the receipt, then start ringing out her boyfriend who was in line behind her and watching the whole thing.)

    Customer’s Boyfriend: *slides card* “I want credit.”

    Me: “Okay, sir, just hit the green button.”

    Customer’s Boyfriend: *hits the red button*

    Me: “Sorry sir, you canceled it. Slide it one more time and hit the green button for me.”

    Customer’s Boyfriend: *slides again and hits the red button again* “I want to do it as credit!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, just slide your card again and press the green button.”

    Customer’s Boyfriend: “… But I want credit.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, the green button for credit.”

    Customer’s Boyfriend: “To run it as credit? I don’t want to use my PIN.”

    Me: “Yes sir, just hit the green button for credit.”

    Customer’s Boyfriend: “But I want to run it as credit! I don’t want to enter my PIN!”

    Me: “I understand that, sir. Just slide your card for me and then press the green button for credit.”

    Customer’s Boyfriend: *narrows eyes and hits the red button again* “I WANT TO DO IT AS CREDIT!”

    (The first customer sighs and does it for him.)

    Customer’s Boyfriend: “But I wanted credit!”

    Me: *smiles* “It ran as credit, sir. See it shows it here on your receipt. Thank you and have a nice day.”

    Next Customer: *slides card and hits the red button*

    Me: *sighs*

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