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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Cash-Backtrack

    | QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I’m the supervisor in charge for the night and am standing right behind my coworker. The bank situated right next to us recently moved and they didn’t even leave an ATM, so we get lots of people who only want to withdraw money.)

    Customer: “I would like to withdraw money, please.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we do not offer this service. If you want to withdraw money, you need to buy something.”

    Customer: “But I don’t need anything. I just want money.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry ma’am, but it costs us money when people take cash back, so we can’t accept any withdrawal if you do not purchase something.”

    (The customer insists she doesn’t want to buy anything and I can see my coworker starting to lose patience. So I turn around to face the customer.)

    Me: “We’ll charge you for a plastic bag. It’s only a nickel. Withdraw as much money as you want.”

    Customer: “Finally!”

    (My coworker gives me an annoyed look, but he proceeds with the transaction. As soon as the transaction is done with and the woman gets her money, she looks up at my coworker.)

    Customer: “I almost forgot! I’ll take a $2.00 lottery ticket!”

    Read Your Food For Thoughts

    | Somerset, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

    (I work Saturdays at a local pub and it tends to be a very quiet shift. The chef comes up to the bar to check the evening’s reservations just as a customer is ordering.)

    Customer: “Can I have the ham and tomato baguette, but no tomato?”

    (I look to the chef and he nods.)

    Me: “Certainly.” *hits button for ham and tomato baguette* “What table was that?”

    Customer: “Table six.”

    (The chef leaves, giving me a thumbs up so I know he knows what to do.)

    Me: “Okay that’s [price].”

    Customer: *handing over the money* “Don’t you have to write a note?”

    Me: “A note?”

    Customer: “On the till, don’t you have to write a note letting the chef know?”

    Me: *hands them their change* “No, he already knows.”

    Customer: “How? Is he psychic?”

    Me: “He was the guy that was just up here. He heard you.”

    Customer: *walking away, muttering* “More fun when I thought he was psychic.”

    Common Sense Just Melts Away

    | Charleston, SC, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (A small crowd has suddenly formed in the store, so I jump on the line to help my coworker with the sandwiches. She’s already started one and tells me the customer wants a chicken bacon ranch. I make the sandwich right in front of the customer. After heating up all the meats, I have her tell me what kind of veggies she wants on it. When the last veggie is put on, this happens:)

    Customer: “And tomatoes… but I wanted a melt, not a chicken bacon ranch.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I told the other girl I wanted a melt.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’ll make you a new sandwich, but why didn’t you say anything for the last two minutes? You could see it wasn’t a melt, right?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I knew it wasn’t a melt. I thought you were going to figure out it wasn’t one either.”

    Hard To Drink In This Much Stupid

    | Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am the customer in this story. I’m in a coffee shop and there is a man in front me who has just rattled out a majorly complex iced coffee order with a myriad of flavor sauces, even going so far as to request a layer of whipped cream in the middle of the drink.)

    Cashier: “All right, that’ll be [price]. Your order might take a moment.”

    Customer: “That’s fine.”

    (I order my own coffee, which is just a mocha latte, without whipped cream. The barista finishes my drink first, as it’s much simpler. It’s in a paper cup, as it’s hot, whereas his is being seen prepared in a clear plastic cup, as it’s iced.)

    Barista: “Mocha latte for [My Name]!”

    (The customer with the long order swoops in before I can grab my drink, swiping it off the counter and taking a sip immediately.)

    Customer: “This is perfect! Thank you so much!”

    (He then runs out the door before either of us can speak.)

    Me: “Did he just..?”

    Barista: “… I’ll make you another drink.”

    Unhappy To Have Nothing To Complain About

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (It is after dark and I am attending to a line of customers as we have had a pretty busy night due to the holidays. An older woman comes up to my register.)

    Me: “How are you today, ma’am?”

    Customer: *is quiet for a few moments before throwing her items onto the table* “Hello.”

    (I begin to scan her items all the while she makes numerous demands of how she would like everything bagged a certain way. I am pleasant and cheerful the entire time as she has caught me in a good mood.)

    Customer: “And see that you pack these together! Oh, and all the food in one bag. And make sure that box isn’t scratched!”

    Me: “Oh course. That’s no problem!”

    (I smile and continue to pack her things. There is a long pause.)

    Customer: *in a sharp and sarcastic tone* “Well, you sure are… chipper and rather fast today.”

    Me: *I smile* “Oh, I try to be! I’ve been here so long this job just comes as second nature.”

    Customer: “Well, see that you stop that! You’re going too fast for me! And stop being so happy!”

    Me: “… I’m sorry?”

    (The woman walks off as I am left stunned.)

    Coworker: “Did you really just get yelled at for being too nice?! Now I’ve seen it all!”

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