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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Adding Gallons Of Fuel To The Fire

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I work at a gas station that doesn’t require customers to prepay for gas. And yes, the pumps do display the number of gallons a customer pumps.)

    Me: “Hi! Were you on pump two?”

    Customer: “How many gallons did I pump?”

    Me: “I can’t figure that out until you pay. I can print you out a receipt if you would like.”

    Customer: “I just want to know how many gallons I pumped!”

    Me: “I can’t tell you right now, but if you pay the $52.70 I can give you the receipt and it will say the amount you pumped.”

    Customer: “WHY THE H*** CAN’T YOU TELL ME THE GALLONS?!”

    Me: “I can get a calculator and divide the amount you owe by the price of gas, but it would be faster if you paid and I got you a receipt.”

    Customer: *angrily throws money on the counter and walks out*

    Me: *before he even reaches the door I have the receipt printed* “IT WAS FOURTEEN POINT TWO EIGHT GALLONS, SIR!”

    Didn’t Play Their Cards Right

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (Our store is having an Easter sale and has sent promotional emails to our customers, which contain ads and coupons. I’m ringing up a customer who has made a large purchase, most of which consists of gift cards, which are never discounted. When I tell her the total and how much she’s saved, she becomes upset.)

    Customer: “I spent nearly $300! My discount should be much higher!”

    (I double-check the totals to make sure I haven’t rung up anything incorrectly.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I believe your savings are lower because most of what you spent

    was on gift cards, and we don’t discount those.”

    Customer: “But the email I was sent had a picture of an Easter basket with a gift card in it! I should get my discount on the gift cards too, since there was a gift card in the picture! That’s false advertising!”

    (Despite my best efforts to explain, she asks to speak to my manager.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, a gift card is literally an exchange of money, dollar for dollar. We don’t ever give discounts on gift cards, and as you can see, we don’t charge tax on them either. That doesn’t happen until you purchase something with the gift card.

    Customer: “Oh… well, I guess I learned something today.”

    Manager: “For future reference, the fine print here on your coupon also states that we can’t discount gift cards.”

    Customer: “I could spend all day reading fine print if I wanted to. I have a Ph.D.! Nobody reads the fine print!”

    Tipping The Scales Of Sobriety

    | OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Pets & Animals

    (I am ringing up a couple customers. The first is visibly drunk, but has been pleasant throughout the transaction.)

    Me: “That will be [total], sir.”

    Customer: “What’s that mean?”

    (He is pointing at our tip jar, which has a sign reading ‘Tipping: Bad for Cows, Good for Staff.’)

    Me: “You mean cow tipping?”

    (He stares at me, clearly very confused.)

    Me: “It’s a stereotypical redneck activity where you go out into a field and push a cow over while she’s sleeping.”

    Customer: “You… what? Why do you push the cows?”

    Me: “… because it’s funny?”

    (I spend another five minutes trying to explain the concept. He really tries to wrap his head around it but he’s just too inebriated to manage it. Finally, he gives up and walks off with his food. The second customer, who has witnessed all of this, steps up to the register. He’s laughing and gesturing to his flannel shirt and jeans.)

    Customer #2: “Don’t worry, honey. I’m a farm boy and I know what cow tipping is.”

    Me: “Oh, thank goodness.”

    Wallet Walkabout

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (I work in a store with four departments, each with their own checkout counter. A woman approaches my counter and asks to make a payment on a layby. I ask if there is anything else she needs. I have a funny feeling about her.)

    Customer: “No, just this. I’ll be leaving now.”

    (I watch her leave, then get to a point and turn into a tight aisle of fabric which is better accessed from the other side. I walk up to her.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: *eyes wide with shock* “I, umm, oh, I don’t know what it is… I haven’t touched it.” *quickly leaves*

    (I look down to find a ladies wallet in the rolls of fabric. I take it to my counter and page for the owner a couple of times. I then get stuck serving customers for 10 minutes before I take it over to the office. I pass by the fabric counter as I do.)

    Me: *to a coworker* “Is there anyone in the office? I have found a wallet.”

    Coworker: “Where did you find that? We’ve been looking for it. I was serving a customer who put it on the counter, went to pay, and it was gone.”

    Me: “Really?”

    Coworker: “Yes, and the woman who was behind her in the line left suddenly as we noticed. We both asked where she was going and I stopped her to ask if she had seen the wallet. She told me no. Then I watched as she went around the back of your department and you served her. I just figured she had forgotten something.”

    Me: “I had a funny feeling so followed her. She pretty much led me to where the wallet was hidden. *takes coworker to the spot*

    Coworker: “This is right where I stopped her. She must have thrown it into the fabric, the b****!”

    (We had no real proof but the woman was lucky that we didn’t report it as her layby contained her name and address. The other customer was so happy to have the wallet returned intact!)

    Not So Rewarding, Part 2

    | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (Every winter my store offers a rewards program for store credit card holders. The program is heavily advertised, especially at the cash wrap. Regardless, this exchange happens at least once a day.)

    Me: “I see you’re paying with your [Store credit card]. Have you already enrolled in [rewards program]?”

    Customer: *hostile* “What’s that?”

    Me: “It’s a rewards program that—”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want anything to do with that!”

    Me: “Okay, your total will be—”

    Customer: *suspiciously eyeing rewards program advertisement* “What’s this 10% thing? I want 10%!”

    Me: “That’s [rewards program]. That—”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want it!”

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    Not So Rewarding

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