November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Yesterday, All My Combos Seemed So Far Away…

| ME, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(It is my second day: An old customer comes in and rattles off a long combo order. Still getting used to the registers, I hit a wrong key, which causes the price to register without the combo discount.)

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount].”

Old Customer: “NO, it is NOT! It should be [different amount]. You did the same thing to me last week!”

Me: “…I just started yesterday, sir.”

Should Have Declined The Marriage

| USA | At The Checkout, Love/Romance, Money

(Customer walks up with his wife and a basket of items of which he spends ten minutes looking over and returning over half. With what he’s kept he lets me ring him out, then decides to pull out a check that has been scribbled over with five different store names.)

Customer: “You can take this as long as I initial it, right?”

Me: “Actually, sir, I don’t think I can because of the amount of times it’s been written over.”

Customer: “Oh, sure, you can take it.” *he tries to write our store name in the bottom corner*

Me: “I’m afraid not. However, if you have any other tender I can take that.”

(He has a white out pen in the items he is trying to purchase.)

Customer: “What if I used white out? Can I open that one and see if it will work?”

Me: “You unfortunately won’t be able to use it until it’s purchased. I can call my manager just to ensure you we can’t take the check, if you’d like.”

Customer’s Wife: “Well, then, do it. We don’t have all night for your incompetence.”

(The manager arrives and states that we cannot take his check but are glad to take any other tender.)

Customer’s Wife: *to her husband* “Just great! Give me your card, dumb-s***. Probably nothing on them since you’re always broke.”

Me: “Sorry, that card was declined.”

(She storms out of the store while he husband is asking her a question.)

Customer: “Sorry, she wrote on my last check to the wrong place.”

(He continues to slide cards that are coming up declined. Eventually he gives up and before leaving shouts:)

Customer: “Don’t ever get f****** married!”

Has No Time For Your Closing Time

| WI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Technology, Time

(I am closing at the fast food place, so things are slowing down. I get a customer in drive-thru who orders a lot of food, and several drinks, all large. I have very specific rules on when to take orders when there are only three people, including myself working. As I’m taking the payment, someone comes up to order.)

Me: *after automated message plays:* “Just one moment, please.”

Customer: *after about 15 seconds* “Hello?”

Me: *as I’m trying to count out the change for the polite customer at my window* “I’m sorry, give me just a minute.”

(The process repeats a few times before the customer trying to order gets fed up.)

Customer: *talking to his passenger* “Fine, let’s just go to McDonald’s.”

(They then they drive off, rather impatiently. As I’m handing out all of the food for the customer at my window:)

Customer #2: “Sorry for ordering so much.”

Me: “Not a problem; you have a nice night.”

(About 10 minutes later, that same truck, with Mister Impatient, comes back and places an order.)

Me: *at the window during payment* “McDonald’s closes before us here.”

(The customer gave me a startled look, not sure how I knew.)

No Longer Deaf To Reason

| Baraboo, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

Customer: “Are you deaf or something? I was trying to talk to you and you ignored me like an idiot!”

Me: “Yes, sir. Sorry, I was blown up by a landmine in Afghanistan and it destroyed most of my hearing in that side.”

(All the while I put on the most offended and hurt face I could muster. The customer’s face was quite possibly the best “I need to rethink my life” face ever.)

No License To Be An A**-Hole

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(Our store has a scanner that we use to scan both products and IDs. Without scanning an ID, we literally cannot ring up age-restricted products like tobacco, lottery, alcohol, and even lighters. There is absolutely no way to bypass the system and hand type in the birthday, and the system has been in for nearly a year. I’ve worked here for about five months.)

Older Man: “…and give me a pack of [Brand] cigarettes.”

Me: “Okay, sir, may I just scan your license?”

Older Man: “What, I don’t look old enough?”

Me: “That is not the case, sir. Unfortunately, unless I physically scan the barcode on the back of your license, I cannot ring up cigarettes.”

Older Man: “That’s b*******. I’ve come here every other day and they’ve just typed in my birthday.”

Me: “…No, you have not.”

Older Man: “Excuse me, you stupid little girl?!”

(I am a transgender male, so this hit a real hard spot. I know I won’t get in trouble if I explain myself to my manager in the morning, so I go off.)

Me: “Do NOT lie to me, sir. I have worked here for almost five months and this system was in long before I started working here. I have not ONCE seen you, despite working all three shifts on multiple occasions. You have been incredibly rude this entire transaction, and you have outwardly misgendered me and I will NOT tolerate dealing with someone as horrible as you. You need to leave.”

Older Man: “This is all kinds of f***ed up. I hope you f***ing lose your job, you dumb, stupid b****.”

Me: “If you do not leave this instant I will call the police for harassment. We have your license plate and you swearing on tape.” *I point up to the camera above my head*

Older Man: “…but they ALWAYS just type in my birthday!”

(He left, but not without spitting on the door first!)