Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
    (3,191 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Common Courtesies: Not For Commoners

    | California, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (I am a cashier at a locally owned grocery store that is frequented by families. A dad comes in with two sons. The younger one puts a drink in the front of their order.)

    Kid: “Don’t put this in a bag.”

    Dad: “Hey! You could at least say ‘please’!”

    Kid: “Dad, you don’t say ‘please’ to clerks, only to people! I learned it in my lesson yesterday!”

    More Than You Bargained For

    | Pearsall, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (A customer purchases some items at the checkout. While walking out, he sees a sign that one of his items is on sale.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, this sign says this glue is for $4.99, but the shelf says $5.99.”

    Me: *looks at receipt* “Well sir, I charged you $4.99.”

    Customer: “But the shelf said $5.99.”

    Me: “But I charged you $4.99.”

    Customer: “But the shelf said $5.99.”

    Me: “Okay, give me another dollar.”

    (The customer thinks for a second, then walks out of the store without saying another word.)

    Over The Hill And Picking Up Speed, Part 2

    | Liverpool, NY, USA | At The Checkout

    (I work as a cashier in a grocery store. I have a regular customer named Hector. He is eighty-seven years old and he has come to the store every Wednesday for the last three months and will only wait in my line. If my shift hasn’t started yet, he will gather his groceries, including Luanne’s Depends, and wait until my shift starts.)

    Me: “Good afternoon! Did you find everything okay?”

    Hector: “H*** no, I did not! I was looking for the damned chainsaw section, but you don’t even have one!”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’m afraid we don’t sell chainsaws here, this is a grocery store.”

    Hector: “That’s not what the dips*** in the booze aisle told me! Jesus, this is the worst store ever!”

    Me: “Um, I’m sorry, sir. But, hey, if you’re about to blow a gasket, we do have Depends, if you’re interested. They’re on sale right now.”

    Hector: “S***! I forgot to get Luanne’s Depends! She won’t do the nasty with me if I forget them! Thanks, little lady!”

    Related:
    Over The Hill And Picking Up Speed

    To Serve Man

    | Northridge, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (A male customer approaches the cash register.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “What did you say to me?”

    Me: “Um, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “You…help me? How can you…help me? YOU?”

    Me: “Um, yes. Do you have a problem with that?”

    Customer: “You can’t help me!”

    Me: “Okay, why not?”

    Customer: “Because I don’t need YOUR help!”

    Me: “Okay, what what do you want me to do? I’m the only one working here.”

    Customer: “I want you to ask me, ‘How may I serve you?’”

    Me: “Um, no.”

    Customer: *cusses up a storm and leaves*

    There Is No Expiration On Your Stupidity

    | Midlands, UK | At The Checkout

    (A customer comes to the till with a large bottle of milk.)

    Customer: “Hello, I’d like to return this. It’s expired.”

    Me: “It says on the receipt that you bought it last week.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I haven’t used it. It’s expired.”

    Me: “The expiration date is yesterday. It was well in date when you bought it.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I didn’t use it, so you have to give me a refund.”

    Me: “I’m afraid we can’t give a refund for that. It was within date when you bought it.”

    Customer: “Well, can’t you change it, at least?”

    Me: “You want to swap some expired milk for fresh milk?”

    Customer: “No, just change the label so it’s in date again.”

    Page 198/218First...196197198199200...Last