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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    The Avocado Monologues

    | Sydney, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I am stacking the oranges, which is next to the shelf of avocados. A very well-dressed woman in her 40s comes over and starts feeling the avocados while talking to herself loudly.)

    Customer: “Wouldn’t you just hate to be an avocado?”

    (The woman continues feeling up the avocados.)

    Customer: “Hmm. You know what? That’s actually my biggest fear. Becoming an avocado.”

    Now Selling The War On Germs, Aisle 5

    | Newton, MA, USA | At The Checkout

    (I am working at a register. I use my t-shirt sleeve to clear my eyes. As I am doing this, a customer walks up with her groceries. She whips out a bottle of sanitizer and grabs my hand and sprays a lot of sanitizer on it.)

    Customer: “Rub it in! What you just did is dangerous to me and everyone else around!”

    (I rub it in because I didn’t want to argue. As I’m doing this, another cashier comes over to help me. She is Filipino. After a couple seconds, the customer looks over at her.)

    Customer: “Is it okay in your country to pick your nose and wipe it all over someone else? Because it isn’t okay in mine!”

    Brand Spankin’ New Employee

    | Richfield, MN, USA | At The Checkout

    (This is my first job. A customer walks up to my register to check out his items. However, my register is malfunctioning and I can not scan more than 15 items.)

    Customer: “Hello there, young’un. Just these for me today.”

    Me: “I do apologize sir, but I cannot scan more than 15 items today.”

    (I turn my head to see if there is another register open when I feel a hard pull on my collar. Suddenly, the customer pulls me over the register.)

    Customer: “I’ll teach you to disrespect your elders!”

    (He starts spanking me with his cane right by my aisle in view of my manager.)

    Manager: “I’d stop this, but it is really entertaining.”

    Customers Are Going Gaga

    , | San Juan, Puerto Rico | At The Checkout, Money, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I’m working the cash register. A male customer of about 40 comes by and places their order. He proceeds to give me his credit card.)

    Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

    (He stares at me for a moment then breaks out into song as he hands me the ID.)

    Customer: “Can’t read my, can’t read my, no you can’t read my pooooookeer faaaaaaace!”

    What Came First, The Idiot Or The Egg

    | Tasmania, Australia | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal

    (After scanning some eggs I open the box look inside and close it again.)

    Customer: “Why are you looking it the egg carton?”

    Me: “I’m checking to make sure there are no broken ones.”

    Customer: “Oh, I thought it was to make sure people weren’t stealing stuff by hiding it in the eggs…”

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