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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Faster And Furiouser

    | Thomson, GA, USA | At The Checkout

    (My register has gone down and I am in the process of getting someone to come and fix it. In the meantime, a man marches up to me with three things in his arms.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. My register is down.”

    Customer: “What is this crap? You’re the only speedy checkout open! I want to get out of here in a hurry!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m waiting for someone to fix my register.”

    Customer: “Why don’t YOU fix your register!?”

    (I stay silent as he continues to rant.)

    Customer: “I need to get the h*** out of this place!”

    Me: “Sir, why don’t you go to the register next to me? She is open.”

    (The customer looks over at the register, which isn’t a speedy checkout, and snaps at me again.)

    Customer: “Why would I go there?! It isn’t even a speedy checkout!”

    (I look over again. There is no one in line.)

    Me: “Sir, she doesn’t have anyone in line–”

    Customer: “Forget it! You can put that s*** back!”

    (He throws the stuff onto my register and storms out.)

    Weight Control Not Included

    | Brandon, FL, USA | At The Checkout

    (A customer comes up to the register with a bag of items to return.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I help you with today? Do have a return?”

    Customer: “No, not a return. I want to exchange these items.”

    Me: “What was wrong with the items?”

    Customer: “I bought these at a different location eight months ago and they don’t fit anymore.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, miss, but I can’t exchange these as the items have been worn and you have had them for quite a while. What is wrong that’s made you want to exchange them now?”

    Customer: “Either they shrunk or I got bigger, so they don’t fit anymore. I want to exchange them for a different size now.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry miss, but I can’t do an exchange for you. I will be more than happy to give a fitting and tell you what your new size is.”

    Customer: “Ugh! You are useless!” *storms off*

    Waste Not, Want Not

    | Dayton, OH, USA | At The Checkout

    Customer: “I need to return this. We didn’t need it.”

    (The customer sets a 20lb bag of rice on the counter.)

    Me: “Do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “Yes, I do.”

    Me: “Just so you know, sir, all returned food product will be thrown away. They cannot go back on the shelf or be donated by us.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! What a waste!”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s the law. Since some people have poisoned food in the past, we have to throw it away for safety reasons.”

    (He continues complaining about how there are starving people and how we should think about helping people, but at no point tries to stop me and offers to donate it himself.)

    Customer: “I mean, I run a youth group and we just got back from a mission to help people. You guys just go ahead and throw perfectly good food out.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, you just returned from a youth mission?”

    Customer: “Yeah, that’s what the rice is left over from.”

    The Price Is (Not) Right

    | Singapore | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

    Customer: “I want to get this TV for $2,599.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our price is fixed at $2,999.”

    Customer: “That’s nonsense! I went to [competitor] and they’re selling the same thing for $2,599!”

    Me: “Is that so? I highly doubt that because this is the current market price for this newly released model. Everyone is selling it at $2,999.”

    Customer: “Are you saying I’m a liar? I even took a picture of their price tag, but I can’t show you because I left my camera in my car.”

    Me: “No, sir. I’m sorry if you think that way, but even if it is indeed at that price, we don’t do price matching at our store.

    Customer: “Why the h*** won’t you do that? I can just go there and pay them good money, you know.”

    Me: “If I may ask, sir, why you don’t do so?”

    Customer: “Er, because I told them that I saw the same TV elsewhere at $2,299.”

    Every Trick In The Book

    | Houston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

    (I’m working the register when an older lady approaches and asks for a price check on some fabric.)

    Me: “That one is $9.99 per yard.”

    Customer: “Minus the 30% off.”

    Me: “No, ma’am. It’s regular price.”

    Customer: “The sign said 30% off.”

    (She takes me to the place where the fabric came from. The sign does indeed say 30% off, but has the name of the fabric that’s stored on the opposite side of the display. I flip the sign around the right way.)

    Me: “Sorry, someone must have accidentally spun it around. See? It says this is regular price. The names are on the signs, so you can see which ones are on sale.”

    Customer: “Okay, okay. Sorry.”

    (She goes back to browsing and I go back to the register. After I ring up a few more customers, she’s back with another bolt to be checked.)

    Me: “This one is $12.99 per yard.”

    Customer: “But the sign says it’s only $3.95!”

    Me: “Okay, let’s go look again.”

    (Again, the sign over the fabric’s location says what she quoted to me. However, it’s been ripped in half so that the name of the fabric is now gone and it’s barely staying in its frame. I turn and look at the customer and she throws her hands up before I can even open my mouth.)

    Customer: “I didn’t think you’d fall for it, but I had to try! Fabric’s so expensive these days!”

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