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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Customers Are Going Gaga

    , | San Juan, Puerto Rico | At The Checkout, Money, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (I’m working the cash register. A male customer of about 40 comes by and places their order. He proceeds to give me his credit card.)

    Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

    (He stares at me for a moment then breaks out into song as he hands me the ID.)

    Customer: “Can’t read my, can’t read my, no you can’t read my pooooookeer faaaaaaace!”

    What Came First, The Idiot Or The Egg

    | Tasmania, Australia | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal

    (After scanning some eggs I open the box look inside and close it again.)

    Customer: “Why are you looking it the egg carton?”

    Me: “I’m checking to make sure there are no broken ones.”

    Customer: “Oh, I thought it was to make sure people weren’t stealing stuff by hiding it in the eggs…”

    No ID, No Idea, Part 3

    | Akron, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (A customer is trying to pay with an unsigned card.)

    Me: “Ma’am, since your credit card is not signed I will need to see your ID.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t have it. I left it with someone at [department store] because they’re signing me up for one of their credit cards. Can’t you just put it through?”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, no. Do you have another form of payment?”

    Customer: “Oh for God’s sake! This is ridiculous! I’ll be right back!” *storms off*

    (Because she has already put a gift card toward the purchase, I have to wait several minutes for my busy manager to come cancel the transaction before I can ring any other customers. The customer’s signature is still on the pad when she returns.)

    Customer: “Fine! Here’s my ID! And you left my signature up on the screen for anyone to see!”

    Me: “I assure you, no one else approached the register while you were gone.”

    Customer: “Someone could have stolen my identity!”

    Me: “But you left your ID and social security number with a stranger in another store?”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 2
    No ID, No Idea

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 8

    | Broomfield, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (A customer is paying her credit card bill.)

    Me: “Would you like to pay with cash, check, or debit card?”

    Customer: “I can pay with a debit card?”

    Me: “You sure can.”

    (The customer slides her card.)

    Customer: “I don’t remember my pin. I’ll just try one.”

    (The customer’s card is declined.)

    Me: “Do you want to try again?”

    Customer: “No, my mom will use her card.”

    (The customer’s mother tries, but she doesn’t remember her PIN either.)

    Me: “You can pay with cash or a check.”

    (The customer pulls a folded check from her pocket and hands it to me. I open it to see that it’s blank.)

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “Oh, am I supposed to fill that out?”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    Ignoring The Staff Is Its Own Reward

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (During the Christmas rush, a customer comes into my line talking on her cell phone.)

    Me: “Hello. Would you like a protection plan with this?”

    (Customer ignores me.)

    Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us, ma’am?”

    (Customer continues to ignore me.)

    Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt. Have a nice day!”

    (Customer stops talking on her phone and looks at me.)

    Customer: “What about my rewards card?”

    Me: “Well, I asked you if you had one, but you were too busy talking.”

    Customer: “So you’re saying it’s my fault?”

    Me: “Yes.”

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