Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle
    (1,846 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Numbers Don’t Lie

    | Perth, Western Australia, Australia | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal

    (I’m a checkout assistant at a supermarket working the night of Halloween. A teenager and his girlfriend come to the checkout at about 8pm with three dozen eggs.)

    Me: “You’re not the ones who have been egging people in the carpark, are you?”

    Customer: “Uh, no. We, um, just want to make an omelette.”

    Me: “You’re making a thirty-six egg omelette? How big is your frying pan?”

    Customer: “S***.” *runs out of the store*

    Team Cougar

    | Michigan, USA | At The Checkout

    (I am working at the checkout when a mother in her 60s and daughter in her 40s walk up to checkout. There is a rack of magazines next to my register, including one with pictures from the upcoming Twilight movie.)

    Daughter: “That Taylor Lautner is hot! Don’t you think so?”

    Mother: “Oh, yeah, he’s much hotter than that Rob Pattinson guy.”

    (I must have given them weird looks because the daughter now looks at me and begins to speak loudly and defensively.)

    Daughter, to me: “What?! He’s legal!”

    Go Beep Yourself

    | Texas, USA | At The Checkout

    (We are having a sale where if you buy any one of a certain set of DVDs or CDs you get a music sampler for free. The customer I’m ringing up has one such item. I grab the music sampler, explain that she gets it for free today, scan it, and place it in her bag.)

    Customer: “Hold on! That isn’t free! You scanned it. You scanned it and your computer went beep! You’re charging me for it!”

    Me: “We have to scan the free items so that we can keep track of our inventory, but it rings up as zero.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me! It went beep! Take it off! I don’t want it if you’re going to charge me!”

    (I turn my computer screen around so that she can see it and point to the title of the music sampler and its price.)

    Me: “See? It rang up zero. I just have to scan it so that we can keep track if how many we sell.”

    Customer: “But it beeped! You b****, don’t lie to me! That’s unchristian! I’m never shopping at this store again!”

    (She snatches up her keys and stomps out of the store without buying anything.)

    Of Dirty Mouths And Dirtier Assumptions

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout

    (I am serving a mother and her teenage daughter. There is a limited edition version of a popular type of gum. The daughter picks up a packet.)

    Customer: *looking outraged* “I’m not buying you condoms!” *slaps the gum out of her hands*

    Customer’s daughter: *embarrassed* “They’re not condoms!”

    Customer: “Or…whatever they are!”

    Customer’s daughter: “It’s gum!”

    Customer: *embarrassed*

    Customer’s daughter: *even more embarrassed and turning bright red*

    Both of them: *hurriedly pay and leave, without the gum*

    A Dogged Sense Of Humor

    | Cochrane, Alberta, Canada | At The Checkout

    (A customer comes to me with two giant bags of dog food. I ring them through.)

    Customer: “You must think I have a bunch of dogs huh?”

    Me: “Um, yeah. Sure.”

    Customer: “Nope! The in-laws are in town!”

    Page 191/219First...189190191192193...Last