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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    A Case Of Late Onset Dissatisfaction

    | Michigan, USA | At The Checkout

    (I’m working at the returns desk. A customer enters with a 5-gallon bucket of deck stain and sets it on the counter with ease. This tips me off because these buckets weigh about 50lbs when full.)

    Me: “Hello. Did you have a problem with the stain?”

    Customer: “No, it just wasn’t the right color. I didn’t like it at all.”

    (I open the bucket and notice its 3/4 of the way used.)

    Me: “And you decided not to stop after the second coat?”

    Customer: *blank stare of guilt*

    Rushing: It’s All Relative

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout

    (Our company has a free membership cards, where people can collect points on their purchases that build towards discounts. Cashiers are required to ask all of our customers if they have a card.)

    Me: “Do you have one of our membership cards?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “All right, would you like to sign up for one today? They’re free, and they’ll eventually save you some money.”

    Customer: “No, no! I’m in a rush, so, never mind.”

    Me: “All right, your total is [total]”

    (The customer pays, but is no longer paying attention to me. Instead, she’s talking to her boyfriend, looking annoyed, and is visibly waving around one of our membership cards.)

    Customer’s Boyfriend: “You know that’s one of their cards, right?”

    Customer: “Is it? Oh, well is it too late to get my points?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, the transaction has already gone through, so yes it is. You can come in when you have some more time and I can do a point adjustment. I just have to refund and resell you your purchase.”

    Customer: “Well, can you do it now? We’re not in a rush…”

    Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Points

    | Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout

    (A customer approaches my register with a few items. While talking loudly with her friend, she smiles at me briefly, but does not acknowledge me through the rest of the transaction. She is speaking loudly and popping her gum.)

    Me: “Did you find everything all right?”

    Customer: *nods at me and continues talking*

    Me: “Would you like to use a [savings] card today?”

    Customer: *continues talking on the phone*

    Me: “Did you have any coupons today?”

    Customer: *completely ignoring me at this point*

    Me: “If you don’t have any coupons, your total will be [$$]. Are you using cash or card today?”

    Customer: *turns and slides her card*

    (I prompt through the card and wait a few seconds to see if she will sign the screen.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, you need to sign the screen to verify your purchase.”

    Customer: “Well, okay.” *signs screen and keeps talking to her friend*

    (The receipt prints and I hand the customer her bag and the receipt.)

    Me: “Have a nice day!”

    (I continue to the next customer, who is actually acknowledging me and talking to me. Meanwhile, the previous customer has finally stopped talking with her friend and is reading receipt.)

    Customer: “Wait a minute! I had coupons for these! Why didn’t I get a discount? And I have a [savings] card! Why didn’t I get any points?”

    Me: “Excuse me, but I asked if you have any coupons and you didn’t answer. I’m sorry…if you go up to customer service they can give you a refund and get you your points.”

    Customer: *getting angry* “But I had the coupons in my hand! You should’ve seen them and taken them! Now I have to go to customer service because of you! This is bulls***!” *storms off*

    Current customer: “I don’t think she deserves a refund!”

    The Whole Is Less Than The Sum Of Its Pits

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I’m working at the checkout and have just weighed several peaches for a customer.)

    Customer: “Oh, wait, sorry…I have one more peach to weigh. Have you already weighed the others?”

    Me: “Yeah, but that’s okay. I’ll just weigh it separately.”

    Customer: “No, that’s not okay!”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Customer: “Because they would have weighed differently if they were put together. It would be less!”

    Me: *speechless*

    It’ll Take More Than One Bag To Hold All That Anger

    | Quebec, Canada | At The Checkout

    (A customer in his late 50s approaches, so I start ringing him up.)

    Customer: “Can I see your bags?”

    Me: “Sure.” *I show him our store’s bags*

    Customer: “I don’t want any of your bags. Give me another one!”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but those are the only one we have. Since you only have one item, maybe you can just carry it with you? We don’t require you to put it in a bag.”

    Customer: “No, no, you don’t understand. I need a bag! I’m walking back home. However, I don’t want to give you guys free advertisement when I’m walking with your bag!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we really don’t have any other bags.”

    Customer: “Just give me that bag over there, then!”

    (He points to another bag, which was accidentally left by another customer from a different store that she had just been to. However, that bag is full of products and also has that store’s name and logo on it.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t. It belongs to another customer.”

    Customer: “You stupid f***! You won’t even give me a f***ing bag?! You are the worst employee that I have ever seen! I’m never shopping here ever again!” *storms off*

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