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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    The Year Of Spending Dangerously

    | Utah, USA | At The Checkout

    Me: “Since you’re using a credit card, I need to see your ID, please.”

    Customer: “Oh, for crying out loud!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we ask for ID for your safety.”

    Customer: *getting agitated* “Well, I don’t want to be safe, so just knock it off already!”

    Time For A Can Of Womb-A**

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (I’m seven months pregnant and am working the checkout.)

    Customer: “Oh, you’re pregnant! It’s a girl, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yes, she is.”

    Customer: “I could tell. Girls take all the beauty away from their mothers.”

    Intelligence May Be Of Equal Or Lesser Value

    | Sydney, Australia | At The Checkout

    (My store is going through a buy two, get the third free sale. A customer comes up with only two items.)

    Me: “Hi. Just these ones today?”

    Customer: “Yes, thanks.”

    Me: “Did you want to grab another item of equal or lesser value for free?”

    Customer: “How much will it cost?”

    Me: “Nothing…it’s free.”

    Customer: “What’s the catch?”

    Me: “It’s of equal or lesser value of the items you have here.”

    Customer: “So, how much extra do I have to pay for it?”

    Me: “Nothing. It’s free.”

    Customer: “No. There’s a catch, isn’t there? You people are always trying to sell me more stuff with some sort of catch behind it. I will probably end up paying more for it or something.”

    Me: “No, it’s free, meaning you will pay no extra. You get it for nothing.”

    Customer: “No! I refuse to give into your gimmicks.”

    (The customer pays for two items and walks out of the store. She returns the next day.)

    Customer: “Yes, I came in yesterday and wasn’t aware of the sale you had going on for buy two, get the third free!”

    Smoking Oneself Out

    | Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout

    (We have a policy that if you look under 30, we must card you for age restricted items.)

    Customer: “Can I get a pack of [cigarettes]?”

    Me: “Can I see your ID?”

    Customer: “I don’t have ID on me.”

    Me: “Well, we have to see ID if you look under 30.”

    Customer: “I look under 30? Well, I’m 29.”

    Flirtings & Salutations

    | Indiana, USA | At The Checkout

    (An older customer and his wife approach the register.)

    Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

    Customer: “Good. How are you?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m pretty good!”

    Customer: “You got the ‘pretty’ part right, but I’m not so sure about the ‘good’ part yet.”

    (The customer’s wife glares at him. I feel pretty uncomfortable and start to scan his groceries.)

    Customer: “Hmm…you’re pretty fast. Good, good…”

    (I hurriedly scan the rest of their groceries and turn my attention elsewhere.)

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