The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!
(Sundays are our busiest days for trades at our video game store. Six people are in line at my register, and the only other employee is on the floor fielding customer questions.)
Me: “Thank you for calling . How can I help you?”
Caller: "I’d like to get trade-in prices for some games I have."
Me: "No problem. We’re a bit busy in store right now, though, so I’ll only be able to give you prices on three trades over the phone. Any more, and you’ll have to come in to the store."
Caller: “Bull! It’s 1 PM on a Sunday. No way you have that many customers."
Me: *holding phone towards customers waiting in line* "Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the man who doesn’t think you’re here."
Me: "Any other questions, sir?"
(I am checking out a customer and taking their details.)
Me: “Ma’am, what is your street name?”
Customer: “I don’t really have one of those. I usually just go by Shanice.”
Me: “Uh, ma’am, I meant the street name where you live.”
Customer: “Oh, I knew that!”
Source: Pope Michael
Me: “Hi, how are you?”
Customer: “You look like a serial killer!”
Me: “Um… I’m sorry?”
Customer: “Yeah, you look exactly like you’ve killed a someone, then locked them in your basement. But maybe that’s just the kind of person you look like. I don’t know, I’m not here to judge.”
Me: “Your total comes to $2.15.”
Child Customer: “Okay.”
(He slides his card, touches the key pad and reaches for his things.)
Me: “Hun, you paid through gift card and there wasn’t enough to cover it all. You’re short 46 cents.”
Child Customer: “Oh, um…can you just remove something?”
Me: “I can’t cancel a transaction in the middle of it.”
Child Customer: “Well, I don’t want the drink no more.”
Me: “Look, I’ll cover the rest but next time just make sure you know how much is on your card or ask us to check before hand.”
(I go through my pocket and pull out a dollar to cover the change after not being able to find enough change to cover the rest. I finish cashing it out and notice the kid’s still there, hand held out and ready to receive change back.)
Me: “I hope you’ve found everything to your liking!”
Customer: “Oh, thank you, I have! It’s so nice to meet a polite Christian girl nowadays! You know, it’s always best to love thy neighbor.”
Me: “Oh, actually, I’m not Christian. But yes, I agree.”
Customer: “Oh. Well, as long as you love Jesus our savior!”
Me: “Actually, I’m Muslim and Jewish.”
Me: “Well, my mother is Jewish and my father is Muslim.”
Customer: “Oh. When I said ‘love thy neighbor,’ I didn’t mean you!”