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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Subjective Job Satisfaction

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque

    (I’m a cashier ringing up a customer.)

    Me: “Did you find everything okay today?”

    Customer: “Yep, it was fine.”

    Me: *smiling* “That’s good.”

    Customer: “You have a nice smile.”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Customer: “You must be very happy.”

    Me: “Usually.”

    Customer: “I have a friend who is a stripper. You’re much happier than her.”

    Me: *speechless* “Uh, thanks? You’re total is [total]. Have a nice day.”

    Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 3

    , | Omaha, NE, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (Our store regularly runs a promotion on the various vitamin brands for ‘BOGO’, buy 1, get 1 free. A customer comes up to the register with a bottle of a brand on the BOGO promotion. I am also an avid couponer and I regularly take in coupons for items we carry that I won’t use so that I can give them to customers.)

    Me: “Sir, I see you’re buying a [brand] item. This week we currently have this whole line at Buy One, Get One Free. If you do get another one, I also have a coupon I can give you which is good for $2 off two items. So instead of getting one for $9.99 you can get 2 for eight bucks and change.”

    Customer: *quite angrily* “What the h*** is wrong with you people? I just want my vitamins. Why are you always trying to push me to buy extra stuff and give you more money!?”

    Me: “I’m…sir, I apologize. I probably wasn’t clear you’ll get twice as many vitamins and spend two dollars less—”

    Customer: “Oh f*** this. You’re all scam artists!” *storms off without paying*

    Me: *stares in disbelief*

    Next Customer:“So…can I use that coupon?”

    Related:
    Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 2
    Less Is More, More Or Less

    Bigots Will Only Get Stonewalled

    | Indiana, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Top

    (I’m a cashier at a newly opened gas station. It is the first of its chain in the area. As such, many of the customers are asking questions about the store. Since we’re new, I’m trying my best to be extra friendly and helpful to everyone. An old woman approaches me with several items. She looks rather concerned.)

    Customer: “So…are you a gas station or a grocery store?”

    Me: “Both, ma’am. We’re all about convenience.”

    Customer: “And what sorts of customers come here?”

    Me: “Well, we’ve just opened, ma’am, so its hard to say at this point.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to shop at a store for God-hating homosexuals.”

    Me: “Come again?”

    Customer: “You heard me!”

    (I do my best to maintain a neutral stance and begin scanning her items as quickly as possible.)

    Me: “Ma’am, by policy we can’t turn away customers.”

    (She gives me a strange look and her eyes widen.)

    Customer: “You’re one of them aren’t you!?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “You’re a f*****!”

    Me: “I’m not, actually, but it is my job to serve any customer that comes to my register.”

    Customer: “I will never come here again! May God have mercy on your sinful soul!”

    (I stand there for a few moments absolutely dumbstruck. Meanwhile, two older gentlemen in matching lavender shirts come up to my register and drop a $50 bill in my tip jar while only purchasing a single gallon of milk. One of them grins and looks me in the eye.)

    Older gentleman: “Doesn’t matter if you’re on ‘our team’ or not. We’re coming here every day from now on.”

    With Each (Not) Passing Day

    | Cornwall, UK | At The Checkout

    (I’m working on the checkout. An elderly man who must be around 80 brings his shopping to my till. He unloads his shopping on the belt whilst whistling and singing to himself.)

    Me: “Good morning, sir. You seem awfully jolly today.”

    Customer: “Well, at my age…it’s just nice to be f***ing alive!”

    Me: *laughs*

    Caught Red-Handed, Part 3

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (Note: I work at a thrift store. It’s quite common for people to pull off price tags in an effort to get a lower price. Most of the time it works, but occasionally we’ll catch someone doing it. This night, my boss approaches me holding a tag that says “$6.99″.)

    Boss: *hands me a tag* “I just watched a family in housewares pull this tag off of a metal basket. So, if they ask what price it is, it’s $6.99.”

    (Just as my boss predicted, the family comes up ten minutes later with the metal basket, just before closing. The husband begins talking to me.)

    Customer: *feigning ignorance* “Oh, so what’s the price on this basket?”

    Me: “It’s $6.99.”

    Customer: *indignant* “Really?!”

    (I pull out the $6.99 price tag they ripped off earlier.)

    Me: “Yeah, really.”

    Customer: “Oh, s***.”

    (I love my work sometimes.)

    Related:
    Caught Red-Handed, Part 2
    Caught Red-Handed

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