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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Ignoring The Staff Is Its Own Reward

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (During the Christmas rush, a customer comes into my line talking on her cell phone.)

    Me: “Hello. Would you like a protection plan with this?”

    (Customer ignores me.)

    Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us, ma’am?”

    (Customer continues to ignore me.)

    Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt. Have a nice day!”

    (Customer stops talking on her phone and looks at me.)

    Customer: “What about my rewards card?”

    Me: “Well, I asked you if you had one, but you were too busy talking.”

    Customer: “So you’re saying it’s my fault?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Discounted Intelligence

    | North Bay, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Math & Science

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “I’m fine, and you?”

    Me: “Also fine, thanks for asking! Just to let you know everything in the store today is 40% off.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “I….I don’t know how else to explain that to you.”

    The Customer Is Always Righteous

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Religion

    (A regular customer comes into our store. She’s known to be very difficult to please.)

    Customer: “Good evening.”

    Me: *cheerily, while ringing her items up* “Good evening, ma’am! That’s $5.31, please.”

    (She puts a credit card down in front of me, which I ring through the register.)

    Me: “If you could please sign right there…”

    (I point, and she does. I bag her items and hand her the bag, her credit card, and her receipt. She takes them slowly and I think I’ve done a good job, but apparently not.)

    Customer: “You dishonor me! You dishonor me and you will burn for it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

    Customer: “God honors me! You don’t, and you will burn! I don’t know, I’m not God. But that’s what he’s saying. You dishonor me and you will burn!” *walks away*

    Me: *totally speechless*

    Batty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

    | Toledo, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m a customer at a grocery store. We’re in a snow storm and people have gone mad in preparation, buying most of the bread, eggs, and milk.)

    Customer: *inches from the cashier’s face* “MILK AND BREAD! MILK AND BREAD!”

    Cashier: *stunned*

    Customer: “I bet all the customers were like that today, huh? All those crazy people buying up all that stuff! But not me, I’m not crazy!” *walks away*

    Cashier: *nervously laughs while looking at me wide-eyed*

    Time To Get Your Head(er) Checked

    | Logan, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Funny Names

    (Note that I am wearing a name tag with my name on it. At the top of our receipts, it says ‘Your Cashier Was’ and lists my name)

    Customer: *looks at receipt* “Your name’s Footer? That’s a strange name.”

    Me: “Uh, no. My name’s [name], like it says on my name tag. Why would you think my name was Footer?”

    Customer: “Because this receipt says your name is Footer!”

    Me: “May I see that?”

    Customer: *hands me the receipt*

    Me: “It has the right name here at the top.”

    Customer: “No, down at the bottom.”

    (I look at the bottom of the receipt. It says “Footer: Thank you for shopping at [store], have a nice day!)


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