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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    The Price Was A Steal

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal

    (I’m watching the register for a coworker on his break. A young man enters the store and sets a paper bag on the counter.)

    Customer: “I need to do a return.” *empties contents of bag onto the counter*

    (I pick up the two gas fittings: one has a tag, the other is completely stripped and destroyed. I look at the receipt and the one with the tag isn’t on it.)

    Me: “Sir, this fitting isn’t on this receipt. Did you have another receipt for it?”

    Customer: “No. I don’t have a receipt for it because I didn’t pay for it.”

    Me: *stunned* “Wh-what? Did… did you just take it then?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I was going to pay for it and I realized I didn’t have enough money to buy it, so I just took it home. But it didn’t fit, either. So my buddy came out and fixed the problem for me and I don’t need it anymore. Sorry.”

    Me: “Oh, um, well… okay. I’m just going to keep this one, then.”

    (I take the stolen fitting and place it in the return box, but then I look at the other fitting.)

    Me: “You really did a number on this one, though.”

    Customer: “Yeah, it was the wrong thread, I think. I tried to twist it on but I ended up stripping it.”

    Me: “Well, I can’t return this it since you destroyed it. It’s yours for life now.”

    (I hand him back his receipt and the broken fitting.)

    Customer: “Well, I thought I’d try anyway. Thank you.” *leaves*

    (The next customer in line is just as stunned as I am. He sets his things on the counter and watches the young man leave.)

    Customer: “Did he just return something he stole and apologized for it because it was the wrong size?”

    (I nod.)

    Customer: “Man, makes you wonder what he would have done if he actually stole the right part!”

    Closed Store, Open Kindness

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

    (We close in five minutes and since it has been a slow night, my coworker and I have turned off the lights in the cases and wrapped the pastries. A customer walks in and my coworker turns on the lights in the cases.)

    Customer: “Are you closed?”

    Me: “No, sir. We close in just a few minutes.”

    Customer: “Oh! I’m so sorry. I just need to pick up some coffee beans and dessert. I’ll be fast!”

    Me: “Don’t worry, you’re okay.”

    (I get his coffee beans while my coworker cuts him a slice of cake. She goes to the back to wash the knife while I ring him up.)

    Me: “Your total is [total.]”

    Customer: “Here you go.” *hands me his credit card* “I am so sorry; I thought you closed at 9:00.”

    Me: “It’s no problem, really.”

    (He looks into the tip jar, which is empty because we have already split the tips.)

    Customer: “Oh, your tip jar is empty. Well here, you two can split this.” *drops money into jar*

    Me: “Thank you, have a good night!”

    Customer: “You too!”

    (I expected a dollar in the tip jar, but it was a $10 bill!)

    The Gift Card That Keeps Giving

    | Greeley, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Holidays, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am working the register over Christmas.)

    Me: “Find everything today?”

    Customer: “Yup.”

    (Note: she is silent through the transaction, which includes a gift card.)

    Me: “How much would you like on this?”

    Customer: “Oh, sorry. Can I have $150?”

    Me: “No problem.”

    Customer: *after paying* “Can you do me a favor?” *she hands me the gift card* “The next customer you see that you think could use this, could you give it to them?”

    Me: *stunned* “…Of course!”

    (After a minute another customer comes up, a visibly upset young woman.)

    Me: “Hi! How are you?”

    Customer #2: “I’m okay, thanks.”

    (Clearly she is not ok, but she is trying very hard to be pleasant. She is getting very basic items: milk, bread, eggs, etc. Nothing very festive.)

    Me: “So your total comes out to $0.00.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “The person before you gave me a $150 gift card to use for the next person I thought could use it. You look like you’re having a rough day, so here are your groceries, and there’s about $130 left on this card.”

    (The customer just started crying. Once she could, she thanked me about 100 times. Made my whole Christmas season.)

    Happy Holidaze

    | Norman, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a customer in line at a convenience store. There is one man in front of me who pays for a chocolate milk and leaves. As the cashier is checking me out, the customer with the chocolate milk comes barging back into the store.)

    Customer: “Dude, you need to let me exchange this milk. It is out of date!”

    Cashier: “Of course. If the milk is out of date, you may certainly get another one.”

    (The cashier takes the milk and sets it aside without looking at it while he continues to check me out. The customer disappears toward the back of the store and then comes stomping back to the counter less than a minute later.)

    Customer: “ALL of your milks are out of date! What sort of place is this?!”

    Cashier: “Really? We just had a delivery…” *checks the date of the chocolate milk he set aside earlier* “This milk is still good! It says December 12th.”

    Customer: “Dude, the 12th was at the BEGINNING of the month! We’re at the END of the month!”

    Cashier: “No, sir. Today is December 10th.”

    Customer: “Nuh-uh! Today is the 26th! Yesterday was Christmas!”

    (The cashier shows the customer a calendar hanging behind the counter.)

    Cashier: “No, sir. We haven’t had Christmas yet. It’s only December 10th, and Christmas isn’t until the 25th.”

    Customer: *dazed look* “Dude…I like, dreamed that yesterday was Christmas! I guess I didn’t get a new car from my Grandma, either. I thought somebody stole it!” *takes his milk and leaves*

    The Dividing Line

    | Albany, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a customer in line at a major lingerie store in a mall at midnight on Black Friday. As expected, the line is well over 10 times longer than normal due to a free gift bag they offer if you spend $65 or more. Two customers come up to me.)

    Customer #1: “Is this where the line starts?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (The two customers line up behind me and instantly start to rant.)

    Customer #2: “Oh my God! This line is too long!”

    Customer #1: “They should have every register open!”

    Customer #2: “They do have every register open. They need to have this store on two floors!”

    Customer #1: ” Yeah! They should have two floors!”

    Customer #2: “I mean, look at all of these people in here! How can they have this may people in here and not see that they need two floors!”

    (Normally any other day of the year, this store is plenty big enough for its typical haul of customers.)

    Customer #1: “If they run out of gift bags by the time it’s my turn, I’m going to scream and call their corporate offices! It’s ridiculous how many people are in here!”

    Customer #2: “All of these people are gonna make me late for work!”

    Customer #1: “What time do you have to be in again?”

    Customer #2: “In a half hour!”

    (Based on where we are in line, and how fast the line is moving, also the amount of people cutting in line, it could take at least another hour and a half to reach the registers that we can’t even see.)

    Customer #1: “They shouldn’t have slow cashiers working either! The rest of us have things to do!”

    Customer #2: “I know what you mean! I can’t stand when they hire slow people!”

    Customer #1: “When I get up there, I’m gonna give them a piece of my mind! They need to have 2 floors!”

    (I wanted nothing more to tell these two women that it was Black Friday. It was going to be busy no matter what store you went to. However, I decide that with their tensions high, it would be in my best interest not to provoke these ladies by telling them off.)

    Customer #2: “Ugh! I can’t stand this anymore! I’m going to be late! This line hasn’t moved! I have to leave!”

    Customer #1: “I wish you weren’t out of sick days! I’m not staying here alone with all of these people! I have things to do!”

    (Thankfully they left at that point. Hallelujah!)

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