Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Sewing The Seeds of Anger

| Belgium | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I started sewing a few years ago, and got good enough at it to make most of my clothes myself, which has resulted in a wardrobe consisting of some unusual prints. A regular customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “I love your dress! You’re always wearing such special clothes! Do tell me where you shop!”

Me: “Actually, I made this one myself. Thanks for the compliment!”

Customer: “Really? That’s great! Can you make one for me?”

Me: “Um… I have never made anything for someone else, and besides, I don’t have any of this fabric left, so I’m afraid I can’t do that!”

(The customer suddenly gets angry.)

Customer: “Now that’s just rude! Why would you do that? You’re just making pretty clothes for yourself so you can tell other people they will never have them!”

(The customer slams the money on the counter, and leaves in a huff.)

Bad At Math But Good At Infractions

| Ventura, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Math & Science

(My mom and I are in line at the register. In front of us is a customer with clearly a lot of things.)

Cashier: “Okay, your total comes to $15.31.”

Customer #1: “No, that’s not right. The dog food and water comes to $8.00!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry; let me try again. It still comes back to $15.31.”

Customer #1: “Look, you stupid b****! This should all come to $8.00! Old hags like you shouldn’t be f****** working today. You’re too stupid!”

(The cashier is in tears. My mom overhears this, and walks up to the customer.)

My Mom: “Now you listen, little brat. This woman has been polite, calm and patient with you. Just shut the f*** up and buy your things! Maybe if you had the intelligence to check the prices instead of relying on others, you wouldn’t be in this situation, would you? I’ve had an awful day, and I don’t want to spend the next ten minutes listening to your God-d*** mouth!”

(The customer remains silent the whole time. He buys his things and leaves. We walk up to the register.)

My Mom: “So, how was your day?”

Cashier: “Great! Thank you! I’ve been really stressed out. I really needed that.”

Me: “If you lived with us, you would hear a lot more than that!”

(We share a laugh, and the cashier gives us a discount on our things on behalf of my mom shutting the customer up!)

Digging A Conversational Hole A Rabbit Could Fit Into

| Germany | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Top

(I am checking out a young couple’s weekly groceries. I overhear their exchange.)

Girl #1: *puts massive pack of batteries onto the conveyor belt*

Girl #2: “Wait, that’s really expensive! What do we even need batteries for?”

Girl #1: *glances nervously at me* “They’re for the TV remote.”

Girl #2: “Oh, I didn’t realise the batteries in the remote had run out. Do we need that many though? I mean what else do we have that even uses batter— Oh…”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20

| Scotland | At The Checkout, Money

Scotland, UK

(A customer comes to the counter with a cauliflower, and a bag of potatoes.)

Me: “Okay, that’s £3.36.”

Customer: “What? How much is the cauliflower?”

Me: “It’s £1.36.”

Customer: “£1.36? That’s ridiculous! That’s about twice the price of [local supermarket]. I can’t afford to pay that much on my pension!”

Me: “Would you like me to take it off?”

Customer: “Yes please. I can’t possibly afford it. Oh, and can you give me two £5 scratch-cards please?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 5

| New York, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I’m working in the express lane, when a couple approaches the counter. Their son is about seven years old, and they have him sitting in the child seat of the cart.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Wife: “Good. Okay honey, help mommy and daddy put the things on the counter.”

Boy: “Okay!”

(The little boy promptly twists around in his seat, and begins to snatch things from the cart. He throws them onto the counter, and across the scanner. I have to chase a package of juice boxes that fly past me, onto the floor.)

Me: “Okay sweetie, try putting them up here gently, okay? We don’t want the groceries to break, right?”

Boy: “Nope!”

(The husband is looking at the candy, and the wife is watching her son and her phone. The little boy then grabs a huge can of yams and throws it at me. It ends up hitting me in the cheek, knocking my glasses off and causing the can to fall to the floor. It makes a noise loud enough to draw the attention of the other customers and cashiers.)

Cashier In The Other Line: “Oh, my God! Are you okay?!”

Me: “Um, well…”

Wife: “Oh! Isn’t he cute?! He wants to play baseball!”

(After picking up my glasses, I can only stare at the woman like she is crazy. Thankfully, a supervisor sees what just happened, and takes over for me so I that I can put some ice on my face. Thankfully nothing is broken, but my cheek was black and blue for weeks!)

Related:
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 4
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 3
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 2
On The Need For Hazard Pay

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