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  • Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    A Rude A-Blabbering

    | Massachusetts, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (I’m ringing out a customer who is blabbing away on their cellphone.)

    Me: “Your total is $13.47.”

    Customer: *throws her card on the counter and continues blabbing*

    Me: “Will that be debit or credit?”

    Customer: *no answer*

    Me: “Will that be debit or credit?”

    Customer: *no answer*

    Me: “Will that be debit or credit?”

    Customer: *no answer*

    (I put the card back in front of her and wait. Eventually, she realizes I’ve stopped and speaks to me.)

    Customer: “What’s the problem?”

    Me: “I was trying to ask if you you would like debit or credit, but you wouldn’t give me an answer.”

    Customer: “That’s probably because I’m on the phone having a conversation! God! Debit!”

    Me: “Okay, please enter your PIN number and hit the green button when you’re done.”

    Customer: *ignores me and starts blabbing away on her phone again*

    (I ask for her PIN a few more times, but after about 30 seconds the credit card machine automatically cancels the transaction since no PIN number has been entered.)

    Customer: “Now what’s the problem?”

    Me: “I asked you to enter your PIN number a few times, but the machine timed out. I’m going to need to swipe your card again.”

    Customer: *throws the card at me*

    Me: “Okay, please enter your PIN number and hit the green button when you’re done.”

    (Once again, she isn’t paying attention. The machine times out. I put the card back on the counter in front of her and ask the next customer behind her if they are ready to be cashed out. The next customer approaches the counter and places her items down.)

    Customer: “UMM, EXCUSE ME?! YOU’RE WAITING ON ME! ”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I’ve been trying to wait on you for several minutes but until you finish your phone call, I will not be able to complete your transaction.”

    Customer: *to her cellphone* “Can you believe this? I’m being refused service because Im on my phone. This is bulls***!” *to me* “YOU ARE EXTREMELY RUDE!”

    (Fed up, the next customer speaks up on my behalf.)

    Next Customer: “YOU’RE calling the cashier rude? You’re the one who has been holding up the line. The poor girl was trying to get you to enter your PIN for 5 minutes while you blurted out your personal business in front of a bunch of strangers. You need to learn some manners!”

    Customer: *blushes and walks out of the store without her items*

    Mistaken Slips Can Lead To Lucky Tips

    | Westhoughton, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    Me: “Good morning. How can I help you today?”

    Regular Customer: “Oh, the usual… some cigarettes, a newspaper and a scratch card, please.”

    (I scan her stuff through.)

    Regular Customer: “Oh, and can I also have a 7 line lucky dip for tonight, please?”

    (I print off a ticket.)

    Me: “That will be £20.71, please.”

    Regular Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “£20.71, please.”

    Regular Customer: “I refuse to pay that. You are trying to con me out of some money. I’ve always suspected you were trying to rob me!”

    (The manager notices and comes over.)

    Manager: “Is something wrong?”

    Regular Customer: “This b**** is robbing me of my money. How can all this come to twenty quid?”

    Manager: “Erm, what day do you think it is today?”

    Regular Customer: *scoffs* “Wednesday!”

    Manager: “Actually, it’s Tuesday.” *points to a newspaper*

    Regular Customer: “Oh my God, I’m so sorry! It’s not the Lotto tonight, it’s the Euromillions, isn’t it?”

    (FYI: 1 Euromillions line costs £2, whereas 1 Lotto line costs £1.)

    Me: “That is completely understandable. Considering it is before 8 am, I reckon I’ll forgive you. Would you like me to refund and print you off one for tomorrow?”

    Regular Customer: “Oh no, I’ll give this one a go. You never know!”

    (When I went in for my next shift, my boss handed me an envelope. I was surprised to find a card from the customer apologizing. The best bit? She won a small amount on that ticket and gave me half of it!)

    Not So Profound Profanities

    | UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (While waiting at the self-checkout tills, I overhear this conversation.)

    Customer #1: “This bloody till won’t work! Why won’t it scan my coupons?”

    (At this, an employee appears to help.)

    Employee: “Here we are, ma’am. You just put your coupons in this slot here and it should work.”

    (Suddenly, a middle-aged woman with a young daughter who are using another self-checkout pipes up.)

    Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “Excuse me, could you please refrain from using language like that in public? I don’t want my daughter picking up bad habits”.

    Customer #1: “Oh, of course!” *to Customer #2′s daughter* “I’m sorry, sweetie. Never ever use the word you heard me use just now…”

    Customer #2: “Thanks!”

    (Customer #2 smiles and gets back to scanning her items, but Customer #1 isn’t done speaking.)

    Customer #1: “…unless you’re really f***ed off, that is!”

    With All Douche Respect

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (Note: I am working the express lane in a large department store. Note that we also have a bank branch located inside our store, although this is not where I work.)

    Customer #1: “Give me that ten back in a roll of quarters.”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t have enough quarters, and even if I did, I’m not allowed to sell rolls of quarters.”

    Customer #1: “Are you kidding me? Is that from you, or your manager?”

    Cashier: “That’s store policy.”

    Customer #1: “That’s f***ing stupid. I’ve been a customer at this store for 27 god*** years and I’ve never had this problem!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir. I really can’t do that.”

    Customer #1: “Let me talk to your manager, then, because this is f***ing ridicu—”

    (Fed up, another customer who has been waiting behind Customer #1 interrupts him.)

    Customer #2: “Would you stop being such a colossal douche? She says she can’t, and she says it’s policy. It’s not going to change just because you yell at her. If you want to see a manager, go find one and leave her alone. Besides, there’s a BANK fifty feet away from you. Get out of this line! The rest of us have lives!”

    Customer #1: “Listen, lady… stop calling me a douche—”

    Customer #2: “THEN STOP BEING A DOUCHE!”

    Customer #1: *leaves*

    Customer #2: *to the cashier* “Sorry, people are douches!”

    Much A-Two About Nothing

    | Nanuet, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (I work at a major pet retail store. A customer approaches the register, talking on her cell phone, and puts a dog toy on the counter.)

    Customer: “[Competitor] has this for $7.99 and you’re charging $9.99! It’s too expensive!”

    Me: “I can price match it for you, ma’am—”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t charge so much! It’s ridiculous!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s—”

    Customer: *to her friend on the phone* “It’s so expensive here!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s only two dollars.”

    Customer: *embarrassed* “I don’t have two dollars. I only have a credit card.”

    Me: “We take credit for any amount, ma’am.”

    (The customer swipes her card, takes her purchase, and rushes off, talking to her friend on the phone.)

    Customer: “Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed! I just made a huge fuss and it was only two dollars!”

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