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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Sometimes, The Gas Is Half Full

    | Wisconsin, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Transportation

    (It is about 10:30 at night and my shift is done in 30 minutes. I am alone as my coworker has gone home sick an hour ago. Everything is going fine until a young guy, about 19, shows up. He comes in and prepays $50 of diesel and goes out to pump gas. I notice he has starts the wrong pump and has already gotten $8 worth of unpaid for gas when I go out.)

    Me: “Excuse me,sir, but you accidentally grabbed the wrong pump.”

    Customer: “Well, the other one wouldn’t work.”

    Me: “Okay, I will void out the $50 then and just add the remainder to the $8 so you can continue on the same pump.”

    (Note: I have anxiety very bad, so if I get nervous I freeze up and forget how to do simple tasks. The customer, who has been fairly nice up to this point, suddenly becomes very agitated.)

    Customer: “Well, hurry the f*** up! I want to get out of here!”

    (I go inside and he follows, all the while yelling and getting angrier as I try to void out the prepay. However, my anxiety has kicked in and I can’t remember how to do the transaction.)

    Customer: “What the f*** is taking you so long?! I want to get home. Hurry up and do your job!”

    (My anxiety keeps getting worse, so I call in my coworker to come help. Meanwhile, the customer keeps yelling.)

    Customer: “You’re a worthless employee! I’m going to call your manager and get you fired!”

    (He keeps going on until my coworker gets there and fixes everything. The customer hasn’t stopped yelling or hurling insults the whole time. I start having an anxiety attack and begin crying.)

    Customer: “Finally, someone who knows how to do their job! I’ll make sure you get fired, you dumb b****!”

    (He walks out, when a few minutes later another guy, Customer #2, comes in. Apparently, Customer #2 was riding in the same car as the first customer. He grabs a small thing of gum and leans in against the counter, setting it down along with some money.)

    Customer #2: “Hey, I’m really sorry about him. I know it isn’t much, but here’s a little bit of money. I’m just grabbing the gum so he doesn’t know what I’m doing.”

    (I am dumbfounded as Customer #2 walks out. Oh, and the money? I had a completely empty tank and was stressing out all day about it. My car lasted just enough time on the money he gave me!)

    Whoever Said Easter Isn’t Egg-citing Is Hopping Mad

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

    (This happens around Easter. A man in an Easter Bunny suit comes riding a unicycle into the parking lot and enters the shop.)

    Me: “Hey there, Easter Bunny!”

    Easter Bunny: “Donuts? Sick! I’ll have three strawberry, three cherry, and three blueberry, glazed, and with frosting and sprinkles!”

    Me: *hands him the bag* “Anything else?”

    Easter Bunny: “Nah! Donuts! Sick!”

    (The Easter Bunny suddenly SLAMS his head on the counter, which would have been quite painful if not for the headpiece on his costume. An egg rolls out seemingly from nowhere and onto the counter. He walks out without another word, hops onto his unicycle and rides off. The egg contained exact change—plus a labeled five dollar tip!)

    Don’t Tip Her Off

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    Customer: “I’ll have my ciabatta loaf and a small latte.”

    Me: “That comes to $9.90.”

    (The customer hands me a $10 dollar bill, and I give her 10 cents change. Then, she produces her loyalty card. I see that she is up for a free coffee.)

    Me: “Oh, you’re due for your free coffee. I’ll give you some extra change back.” *I hand her the extra change*

    Customer: “No! I don’t want it! I don’t want the money!”

    Me: “But you’ve earned a free coffee.”

    Customer: “I come in here EVERY time and I order a ciabatta loaf and a coffee, and it comes to $9.90. I give you a $10 note, and I give you a 10 cent tip!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry… did you want to save your free coffee for another day? It’s alright. I can—”

    Customer: “No, it’s NOT alright! I didn’t want the free coffee! I don’t want it! You don’t get your 10 cent tip today!”

    Me: “Okay… well, I’ll just have to wear that.”

    Customer: “Stupid woman. You don’t get your 10 cent tip today!” *leaves*

    Dumbing On Empty

    | New Jersey, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I am a cashier at a popular home improvement store, and on this particular day I am working refunds. A customer comes into the store pushing in a new ride-on lawn mower.)

    Me: “Good morning, what can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “Your incompetent associates sold me this tractor, and it doesn’t even work! I demand a refund?”

    Me: “No problem, sir. May I see your receipt?”

    Customer: “I don’t have my receipt, but I bought it yesterday. All I want to do is get another, and I need it NOW!”

    Me: “Well, I need to call an associate from the department to see what is wrong with the tractor. Maybe it can easily be fixed.”

    (I phone a season associate and he comes over to look at the tractor. He proceeds to ask the customer what is wrong with it.)

    Customer: “I spent thousands of dollars on this. You…” *points to seasonal associate* “…sold me this piece of s***! I turned the key and it doesn’t even turn on!”

    Other Associate: “Sir, there’s no gas in it.”

    Customer: “Of course there’s no gas in it! Give me a working one NOW!”

    Other Associate: “It needs gas to run. You know, like a car.”

    (The customer angrily argues that gas will not fix the problem and refuses to listen. My fellow associate takes it outside, puts gas in it and it starts right away. The other associate walks in alone and the customer drives off with his working tractor.)

    Me: “Is it going to be that kind of day?”

    Other Associate: “Yep, I think so. Put gas in it and it’s working just fine. Guy was too embarrassed to come in and apologize!”

    Courage Under Hire

    | Montreal, Quebec, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m in the back, preparing for my shift. It’s past rush hour, but the station is still busy. My coworker is working the till, and there’s a line of customers.)

    Coworker: “Good evening. What pump did you have?”

    (Suddenly, the customer pulls out a BIG hunting knife.)

    Customer: *threatening* “Give me the cash!”

    Coworker: *annoyed* “Did you have gas to pay for or not? It’s late. There are people behind you in line waiting to pay and go home, and you’re holding up the line.”

    Customer: *lowers knife* “Oh, sorry.”

    (To everyone’s surprise, the would-be robber leaves, dejected. Everyone just stares at my coworker, dumbfounded.)

    Coworker: “Wait, was he trying to rob us?”

    Next Customer: “Balls of steel, man!”

    (My coworker realizes what he’s done, and starts freaking out. He was a bit shaken for an hour or so, but was okay afterwards.)

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