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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    To Conjugate A Thief

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

    (Although I don’t look like it, I am fluent in Japanese and Korean. I am working at a register, checking out a Japanese family that is buying snacks.)

    Father: *in Japanese* “Son, when the cashier isn’t looking, put the candy bars in your pockets so we don’t have to pay for them.”

    (Hearing this, I add the candy bars to the purchase. The family pays and leaves. Two minutes later, the father returns.)

    Father: “Why did you charge me for four candy bars?! I didn’t buy any candy bars! You just charged me to make extra money! I want to see your manager!”

    Me: *in Japanese* “Maybe you should come up with your plans to steal 89 cent candy bars BEFORE you come up to the register.”

    (The father was stunned. He apologized and left embarrassed.)

    Your Mood Speaks Volumes

    | Berlin, VT, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (A customer obviously having a bad day comes through my line. She throws her stuff down on the belt.)

    Me: “Did you find everything—”

    Customer: “JUST DO YOUR JOB!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    (I give her the total, and she all but throws her money at me and rips her change out of my hand.)

    Customer: “TOOK LONG ENOUGH!”

    Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

    (The next day, the same customer comes through my line. I greet her and start putting her items through.)

    Customer: “Look, I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I was having a bad day and had no right to treat you that way.”

    Me: “That’s alright, ma—”

    Customer: “NO! IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT ALRIGHT!”

    Mother Doesn’t Know Best

    | Kentucky, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (My mother and I are on a drive to Florida when we stop at a small gas station. A customer and her six- or seven-year-old daughter walk away from the restrooms to the counter.)

    Cashier: “May I help you?”

    Customer: “Your bathrooms are DISGUSTING! Let me talk to a manager! They make me SICK!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the manager isn’t in right now. Would you like me to file a complaint?”

    Customer: “No! I want you to clean the GODD*** BATHROOMS!

    (At this point, the little girl is trying to drag her mother away and is telling her to calm down. The cashier is clearly shaken and on the verge of tears.)

    Cashier: *tearing up* “I’m sorry, but that’s not my position, and the janitors aren’t in right now. Is there anything else I can do?”

    Customer: “NO, GODD*** IT! JUST GO CLEAN THE D*** TOIL—”

    (At this point, my mother has had enough and speaks up in defense of the cashier.)

    My Mother: “Look. She has told you she can’t clean it. She has offered solutions. Now use the dirty toilets or you can leave! You don’t have to be such a b****!”

    Customer: *taken aback* “Well, I…I…HMPH!”

    (She storms out, dragging her kid by the arm. After we leave a second later, we see the woman and her little daughter in the parking lot.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “Goodness, Mommy! you didn’t have to be so mean to that lady. She was crying!”

    Do As I Say, Not As I Don’t Say

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout

    (I’m cashing when an elderly customer comes to the till.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: *mumbles*

    Me: “Do you have a rewards card today?”

    Customer: *waves his hand indicating no*

    Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

    Customer: “Look, just stop asking questions. That’s what they do at [competitor], not here!”

    (I’m a bit shocked, but I put his groceries through the till in silence.)

    Me: “That’ll be [price].”

    Customer: *says nothing while he uses his debit card*

    Me: “Have a good night.”

    Customer: “It would be better if you weren’t so rude. You need to try and interact more with customers!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    Do As I Say, Not As I Say

    Minimum Wage Vs. Maximum Rage

    | USA | At The Checkout

    (This takes place at a national retailer who takes pride in its lifetime warranty on hand tools.  One customer came in trying to take up the store on that offer.)

    Customer: “I’d like to exchange these tools.”

    Employee: “Unfortunately, these are planing tools and we no longer carry these in this store.”

    Customer: “These are hand tools, and you have a lifetime guarantee on these. They’re broken, so I want new ones.”

    Employee: “I understand, and you’re absolutely correct, but we can’t give you replacement tools because we don’t carry them here. However, we can give you an address, and if you send the tools there, they will ship you back some replacements.”

    Customer: “Well, I need these tools now! You have a warranty, and I want to fulfill that agreement!”

    Employee: “I’m sorry. I’d like to help you, but it’s just not possible for us to replace your tools at this location.”

    Customer: “I bet you’re sorry. Yeah, I bet you just work here, don’t you? You just work here, so it’s not your fault, is it?!”

    Employee: “Yes, I do work here. Again, I’m sorry we can’t replace your tools, but we don’t have them in stock.”

    Customer: “Yeah, you just ‘work here’. You probably just work here for minimum wage. You’re probably just coming in, getting your $7 an hour and checking out. I’m not going to be coming back again. You can just work for your $7 an hour and not care about your customers!” *begins storming out*

    Employee: “Actually, it’s $6.50, sir!”

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