Featured:
  • A Very Purr-sonable Cat
    (1,828 thumbs up)
  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Drinking Shooters All Night Long

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m in line at a local liquor store. The customer in front of me has clearly had too much to drink already, and is slurring his words when he speaks. The cashier is a smaller gentleman with long hair, who doesn’t look much older than 20.)

    Cashier: “Good afternoon, sir. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I’ll tell you what you can help me with; you can give me all the money you got up in this b****!”

    (The man proceeds to pull a gun out of his coat, which then falls to the ground. He stumbles after it, and points it towards the cashier, who hasn’t moved or said anything at this point.)

    Cashier: “Sir, please put the gun away.”

    Customer: “Not until you give me all your f****** money, you dumb-a** b****!”

    (At this point, I’m ducking behind one of the displays but can still see what is going on. Suddenly, the cashier reaches over the counter, presses the clip release on the gun, and takes the clip out. The inebriated customer looks shocked.)

    Cashier: “Sir, I’ve just recently returned from my tour in Afghanistan. I can tell that one, you have the safety on, two, this is an airsoft gun that you painted to look like a real gun, and three, you’re clearly far too drunk to fight back if I were to defend myself. So please, do yourself a favour; leave this store before I alert the authorities.”

    (The inebriated man looks down at his gun, back up to the cashier, and then drops the gun and runs out of the store before stumbling and passing out just outside. The other customers and I are laughing at this point.)

    Cashier: “Anybody want a free airsoft gun?”

    His Magnetic Personality Won The Day

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Health & Body, Love/Romance, Top

    (I am an African-American male. When I was 13, I was in a car accident that has left me with a little bit of a limp since. I have two metal rods in my leg from the accident. An elderly customer comes into my lane for checkout.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you today ma’am? Did you find everything you were looking for?”

    Elderly Customer: “Actually, I couldn’t find this brownie mix.”

    (The customer shows me a coupon for the mix.)

    Me: “Oh, I can get that for you! Just a moment!”

    (I start to walk away. My limp is showing, as it always is. I hear the woman speak up from behind me.)

    Elderly Customer: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Elderly Customer: “I know that you guys like to walk like that, but could you hurry? I’m in a bit of a rush!”

    Me: “What do you mean, ma’am?”

    Elderly Customer: “The way you young lazy n****** walk these days. I’m surprised your pants are even up!”

    (Now I get what she’s saying, and I feel I should show her something. We keep fridge-magnets for sale near the checkout. I call out to a nearby coworker)

    Me: “Hey, [coworker], can you toss me a magnet?”

    (My coworker tosses ones to me, and I stick the magnet to my leg.)

    Me: “My mother and I were hit by a drunk driver when I was 13 years old. I am lucky I can even walk, since my leg is held together by metal rods.”

    (The customer is now screaming incoherently; the only words that could be made out are racial slurs and shrieking. My manager walks up.)

    Manager: “Excuse me, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store immediately. You cannot speak to my employees like that.”

    Elderly Customer: “Fine! I don’t care! I wouldn’t buy anything any n***** touched anyway!”

    (The customer continues screaming the whole way out, slowly being drowned out by people cheering her out. When I look at who has been behind her in the line the whole time, I see the girl from the coffee shop next door. I have had a little crush on her for a while. She says that was the most amazing thing she has ever seen, and asks me out!)

    A Wally With A Wallet

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (Our area has recently been hit with a bunch of fraudulent credit cards. We’ve been advised to double check IDs and cards. My coworker is checking out a customer and asks to see his ID.)

    Customer: “What do you need to see my ID for?”

    Coworker: “We’ve been advised to check all IDs. Besides the back of your card says to check ID anyway, so…”

    Customer: “Well, I’m telling you I am not showing you my identity! This is ridiculous! Where’s your manager?”

    Me: “That would be me, sir. You’ll either have to show identification, or use another form of payment.”

    Customer: “Fine! Here!”

    (He tossed his entire wallet at me. I glanced at the ID, which is out of state. The man in the picture was very obviously not the man in front of me. Furthermore, the card was in a woman’s name. I slid the ID to the side and noticed that another ID was underneath; this ID was to another person! My coworker noticed this, too. He ducked around the bend, and I heard him calling the police. I pretended to run the card through and have ‘technical problems’, stalling him long enough for the cops to get to our store. When they searched him, they found another wallet on him with various cards. He’d been using stolen cards all day without anyone checking them!)

    The Polites Are On But Nobody’s Home

    | Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I work at the till. We always ask a few questions to every customer.)

    Me: “Did you get everything you were looking for okay today?”

    Customer: *nodding* “Thank you!”

    Me: “Are you interested in any gift cards today?”

    (The customer shakes her head side-to-side this time, with inflections to say ‘no’.)

    Customer: “Thank you.”

    Me: “That’ll be [price], please.”

    (The customer hands me the money.)

    Customer: “Thank you!”

    Me: “And here’s your change and receipt.”

    Customer: “Thank you.”

    Me: “See you later.”

    Customer: “Thank you!”

    No ID, No Idea, Part 11

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (An American customer approaches, and tries to pay with a card that isn’t his. It has a typically female name on it, and the signatures don’t match.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but I don’t think this is your card. I can’t put through the sale.”

    Customer: “It’s my girlfriend’s. She said I could use it.”

    Me: “That might be so, but it’s illegal for me to finish the sale; I am sorry. Is your girlfriend in the store? She can come and sign for it.”

    (I suggest this cheerfully, so that he knows I’m definitely not accusing him of having a stolen card. However, the customer instantly snaps and begins yelling.)

    Customer: “YOU F****** AUSTRALIANS! I COME HERE FOR A HOLIDAY, AND YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF RACIST PRICKS! IF I WAS AUSTRALIAN, YOU’D F****** PROCESS IT! THIS S*** DOESN’T HAPPEN IN AMERICA! F*** YOU!”

    (My manager, who happens to be nearby, decides to intervene.)

    Manager: “Sir, that’s simply not true. It’s legislation to protect people from having their card stolen. We’re protecting your girlfriend’s money.”

    Customer: “WHAT A LOAD OF S***. WELCOME TO F****** AUSTRALIA, HEY? F*** ALL OF YOU! F*** YOUR F****** COUNTRY! F****** AUSSIE RACIST C****!”

    (He storms out of the store, leaving everyone speechless.)

    Manager: “I wonder what he’ll do when he realises he left the card behind.”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 10
    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

    Page 168/257First...166167168169170...Last