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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Receipt, Paper, Scissors

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    (I work as a cashier, and when we have no customers in line we move to the front of the lane to greet people and let them know our lane is open. Another cashier and I are at the front of our lanes chatting when a customer comes up.)

    Other Cashier: “Hi, we are both open and can help.”

    Customer: “Well, which of you wants to help me more?”

    Me: “It doesn’t really matter to us.”

    Customer: “Then how about you fight for the honor of checking out my items. You know; a fight to the death?”

    Other Cashier: “We can’t do that.”

    Me: “Yeah, too much blood. It’s a mess to clean up.”

    Customer: “Fair enough. So, how about rock, paper, scissors?”

    (We agree and play rock paper scissors to see who helps the customer. I ultimately lost, but it made the customer happy and was the highlight of the evening!)

    From Very Important To Very Impotent

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am a customer in line at a convenience store. Customer #1, the lady in front of me in line, is complaining loudly about everything, from the slow service (which wasn’t slow at all) to the way the young clerk is dressed. Finally, Customer #2, the man in front of her, turns around.)

    Customer #2: “I’m sorry if I’m being forward, ma’am, but, may I ask your name?”

    Customer #1: *proudly states her name*

    Customer #2: *relieved sigh* “Oh, thank God! Don’t scare me like that, lady!”

    Customer #1: “…What do you mean?”

    Customer #2: “For a minute there, I thought you were someone who’s opinion mattered! Now I know you’re just a windbag I can safely ignore!”

    (Customer #1 didn’t make a sound until she left!)

    She Isn’t Playing Around

    | MA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (I’m ringing out an elderly customer while a coworker of mine greets new customers entering the building. I’m conversing with my customer when I hear a new customer’s daughter, about 6 years old, speaking loudly to my coworker.)

    Little Girl: “No! No more toys! I have enough toys as it is! They’re all over my room and my living room!”

    (She starts to list the various types of toys she has. The list goes on for quite some time.)

    Little Girl: “…And that’s why I don’t need any more toys!”

    My Customer: “Wow, you don’t hear that all that often!”

    Inhuman Resources

    | UK | At The Checkout, Top

    (It’s a very busy Friday afternoon. As I’m serving customers, I hear a woman in the queue line speaking in a raised voice to her friend. She’s wearing a business suit and looks like a professional.)

    Woman: “Look at that! Their job is so easy! All they have to do is put things in bags and stand behind a till! A monkey could do that.”

    (Her friend looks very embarrassed as she prattles on, drawing stares from other customers in the process. Finally, she reaches my till and puts a basket full of items in front of me.)

    Me: “Good afternoon. Would you like an eco-bag with your purchase?”

    Woman: “Yes, yes, get on with it. I don’t have all day!”

    (I proceed to scan the items through. Throughout, the customer is talking in to her friend about how easy this job is, and how stupid myself and my coworkers must be. I can feel myself tearing up, but try to ignore it.)

    Me: “That’s £59.50, madam.”

    Woman: “What? That’s not right! Stupid little b****! You can’t even get something this simple right!”

    (Just then, a man being served at the next till speaks up. He’s wearing a t-shirt and jeans.)

    Man: “Hey, lady, watch your mouth. This girl has been doing a great job and has been extremely patient with you. I’d have thrown you out by now.”

    Woman: “How dare you talk to me like that! Do you have any idea who I am?”

    (She brandishes an ID card for a well-known company at him, on which the words ‘HR team leader’ are visible.)

    Man: “Well, what a coincidence.”

    (He shows her his badge for the SAME company, which has the words ‘senior executive’ visible.)

    Man: “I know your direct supervisor personally. I’ll be telling him about your attitude problem on Monday.”

    Woman: “I… I…”

    (She turns bright red, chucks the money at me and practically runs from the store. Her friend, grinning, follows.)

    Man: “Man, pulling rank feels good sometimes.”

    Long-Handed Short-Change

    | UK | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Money

    (I have been working for almost 14 hours straight, and have had several difficult customers throughout the day. A customer approaches the counter and places a 4-pack of beer on the counter. I scan it through.)

    Me: “Okay, that will be £5.54, please.”

    (The customer hands over £10.)

    Me: “Okay, so that’s £4.46 change.”

    Customer: “Thank you. Oh wait, this is on offer. It’s only meant to be £4.49.”

    (I check the shelf, and it is indeed meant to be £4.49.)

    Me: “Sorry about that, I’ll just refund your money then charge through the correct price.”

    (I do this. The man now has 2 piles of money. One of £5.54, and one of £4.46. A total of £10. I take £4.49 from the £5.54 pile and put it in the till. This leaves him with £5.51 in two piles. One pile of £4.46 and the other of £1.05.)

    Customer: “Is that us straight now?”

    Me: “Yes. Were fine.”

    Customer: “No! That money there is yours!” *points at the £1.05* “It needs to go in your till. Then you need to give me £1.05 from the till.”

    Me: “Erm… what?”

    Customer: “You’ve f***** up! That money is yours. Put it in the till then give me an extra £1.05!”

    Me: “You want me to put £1.05 in the till. Then take £1.05 out of the till?”

    Customer: “Yes that’s your money.” *points at the £1.05 on the counter* “Put it in the till, then give me £1.05.”

    Me: “Erm… okay?”

    (I do this and the man leaves the shop. I turn to look at my supervisor, who has tears of laughter streaming down his face.)

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