November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Nothing But Air Between His Bun

, | Hertfordshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work in a burger restaurant. We’ve just started a new promotion with two new burgers.)

Me: “Hi there. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, umm… Can I try your new burger?”

Me: “Sure. Is that the cheddar burger or the Mediterranean chicken burger?”

Customer: “Uh… what’s the difference?”

Me: “The cheddar burger is a beef burger with cheddar cheese, while the Mediterranean is a chicken burger with peppers and salsa.”

Customer: “I… I don’t know?”

Me: “This one…” *points to picture* “…is our new beef burger, and this one…” *points to another picture* “…is our new chicken burger.”

Customer: “Oh right! So, can I get the new one?”

Me: “Chicken or beef, sir?”

Customer: “Uh… chicken? I guess?

Me: “So, just to check you want the Mediterranean chicken burger? This burger here?”

Customer: “I think so.”

Me: “Okay. Anything else for you?”

Customer: “So, what have I ordered?”

Me: “This burger here, sir.” *points to picture again* “The Mediterranean chicken burger.”

Customer: “Wait, what’s in it?”

Me: “Crispy chicken, peppers, lettuce, salsa and mayo. Is that okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, sounds good!”

(I hand the customer his meal and he walks off. He’s back about 10 minutes later, with half of the burger.)

Customer: “Erm, this isn’t what I ordered.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I thought you wanted the Mediterranean chicken?”

Customer: “No. I wanted the new burger. That one!” *points at cheddar burger picture*

Me: “Oh, right… Okay. I’ll just get that for you. Have you already eaten half of the chicken burger?”

Customer: “Yeah, sorry! I didn’t realise until now that it wasn’t the beef one.”

Walking A Mile With Another Man’s Candy

| Charlotte, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I am checking out a customer.)

Me: “Hello! How are you doing today?”

(The customer just mumbles something. I am scanning his groceries. I am almost finished when he says something to me.)

Customer: “Grab me a couple of sneakers back there.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

Customer: “Get me two sneakers from over there!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I do not understand what you are asking for.”

Customer: “Are you stupid or deaf? A COUPLE D*** SNEAKERS! RIGHT BEHIND YOU! JESUS CHRIST!”

Me: “Sir, there is no need to take that tone with me, as I am neither deaf or stupid.”

(The customer is getting furious with me. The next customer behind him in line tries to clarify the misunderstanding.)

Next Customer: “I think he’s asking for SNICKERS Candy Bars.”

Me: “Thank you. I’m sorry, sir. I’ll get them for you.”

Customer: “Never mind! If you’re too f****** stupid to understand what I am asking for, what the h*** are you doing workin’ with customers?!”

Me: “Sir, I apologized for not understanding you. But you can not and will not talk to me in that foul manner. There are children around. Even if there weren’t, you should never speak to anyone like that. That is completely uncalled for!”

Customer: “F*** you! Give me my d*** change!”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(He finally gets his things and leaves. The next customer steps up.)

Next Customer: “I didn’t understand him at first. I thought he was asking for a d*** pair of shoes!” *laughs*

Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills, Part 3

| Twin Cities, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Politics

(I am a cashier at a dollar store. Lately, we’ve been collecting school supplies for a charity that donates them to military families. As such, we have to ask customers if they would like to purchase an item for this charity.)

Me: “Would you also be interested in purchasing an item for [Charity] today?”

Man: “What is that? Some sort of communist youth organization?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Uhm, no, sir. It donates school supplies to military families with children.”

Man: “Well, same thing right?”

(I stand there for a few seconds, just silently blinking and staring at him.)

Me: “…no, sir. Not even close.”

Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills, Part 2
Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills

Getting Chesty

| Wyoming, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Underaged

(I work in a local chain tobacco store. I am in my 40s. A very young looking man comes in my store with a small child.)

Customer: “Can I get a pack of [Brand] cigarettes?”

Me: “Can I see your ID?

Customer: “I left my wallet at home.

Me: “I’m sorry, but the law requires I ask for a valid picture ID. No ID means no sale.”

Customer: *testy* “I have a four-year-old kid! I think that proves I am old enough to buy cigs!”

Me: “Even kids too young to smoke can make a baby.”

Customer: *literally rips his shirt open* “For Christ’s sake I HAVE CHEST HAIR!”

Me: “Yup. You have about a dozen of them. Congrats.”

(The customer takes the child’s hand and storms out, cussing and complaining about me being rude.)

Can’t Pin Him Down To A Number, Part 2

| QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

(It’s Friday afternoon, and I am a customer waiting for my prescriptions in the waiting area of my pharmacy. The customer ahead of me, a gruff older man, is getting upset with the cashier over a problem with the card reader.)

Customer: “I’m telling you, it’s not my card. It’s your machine!”

Cashier: “Sir, you have to enter your PIN correctly—”

Customer: “I KNOW how to enter my PIN! Your machines are wrong! This doesn’t happen to me anywhere else.”

Cashier: “I don’t know what to tell you, sir. My machine has been functioning properly all day. Your transaction failed after you entered your PIN. Would you like to try it again?”

Customer: “If I try it again, you better MAKE it work right! [Financial Institution] is going to freeze my card if I keep trying. I’m going away for the weekend so I NEED my card to work!”

Cashier: “Well, I can’t put in your PIN for you, sir. So I can’t guarantee you it will work.”

Customer: “This has happened the last two times I’ve been in here! I’ve been a customer here for 30 years and you’re saying it’s MY fault? Your machines are wrong! And now my card is going to be frozen until Monday!”

Cashier: “I don’t know what else to tell you, sir. Let me get my manager.”

(The cashier pages the manager, who arrives promptly.)

Manager: “I understand there’s some trouble with your card, sir?”

Customer: “The machine is messing up. It’s NOT my PIN. My card is going to be frozen and I’m going away this weekend!”

Manager: “I understand, sir. If you have time to wait, I’ll call [Financial Institution, which is also responsible for card reader] and try to find out what’s going on.”

(My manager dials the phone and explains the situation to tech support.)

Manager: *on phone* “Uh-huh. I see.”

Customer: “Ask them if my card is frozen!”

Manager: *on phone* “So there’s no problem with our system? Alright. Thank you.”

Customer: “Oh, wait. My PIN on this card is five digits. I only entered four!”

Can’t Pin Him Down To A Number