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  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    In Need Of A Reality Check

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I work retail as a cashier. I’m serving a couple that looks to be between 25 and 30, while behind them is a smiling old man with a cane no younger than 80. All of them are followed by a line that just keeps getting longer. The couple has handed me a check to pay for their goods, and this is a lengthy process. I’m half-way through the transaction when they get impatient.)

    Female customer: “Look, I don’t have all day.”

    Me: “Sorry ma’am, but this is the process I have to take for all checks. Unfortunately, it takes a while.”

    Male customer: *tapping his fingers on the desk* “Can you just hurry up? Geez! Keeping these people waiting!”

    (By this point my line is 10 people deep, and I’m beginning to get a bit stressed. The couple is still trying to hurry me along, but I’m going as fast as I can. Finally, I finish and hand them their receipt.)

    Male customer: “Finally! That only took all day! Maybe if you weren’t so slow we’d have been out of here by now!”

    (Suddenly, the elderly man behind them pipes up.)

    Elderly customer: “I didn’t know they still let you pay by check!”

    Me: “They do, but unfortunately it’s a lengthy process.”

    (The elderly customer continues to speak loudly, within earshot of the couple I just served.)*

    Elderly customer: “Hmph! Sounds to me some people just need to get with the 21st Century!”

    Young couple: *glares at elderly customer*

    Elderly customer: *waves and smiles*

    To And Fro Is The Way To Go

    | Houston, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (It’s the holiday season, and I’m shopping for DVDs as gifts for my family. I see a movie that I want to get for myself, but decide against it. A few minutes later, I change my mind, but the movie has disappeared. I take the rest of my purchases up to the counter, where I notice the customer in front of me is about to buy the movie I was looking for.)

    Me: “Ah, so that’s where it went.”

    Other customer: “Pardon me?”

    Me: *chuckling* “I was thinking about getting that DVD, but when I went back to the shelf, it was gone. I couldn’t figure out what happened to it.”

    Other customer: “Here you go!” *hands me the DVD*

    Me: “Thanks, but I don’t really need it. You go ahead.” *I hand the DVD back to her*

    Other customer: “If you want it, by all means, please take it.” *she hands me the DVD again*

    Me: “Are you buying this as a gift?”

    Other customer: “Well, yes, but…”

    Me: “Then you should definitely take it. I’ll pick it up some other time.” *I hand the DVD back to her*

    Other customer: “Are you sure? Because I can easily find something else.”

    Me: “I’m positive, but thanks again.”

    (At this point, we realize the cashier is staring at us with wide eyes.)

    Other customer: “Miss? Is everything okay?”

    Cashier: (emotionally) “You two are the only nice customers I’ve dealt with all day!”

    A Negative Shopping Experience

    | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Top

    (I am ringing up a customer.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, sir. How are you?”

    Customer: *remains silent as I scan his items*

    Me: “Are you a member of the store rewards program?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Have you heard about the program?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Do you care about the program?”

    Customer: “No.”

    (The ustomer swipes his debit card and puts in his pin.)

    Customer: “I can say more than ‘no’, you know. ”

    Me: “I don’t doubt it, sir. Would you like cash back?”

    Customer: “No.”

    (Thankfully, he had a sense of humor; after his last reply, we both looked at each other and laughed.)

    Very Front Loaded

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Top

    (I stop in to my local superstore to pick up some dog treats. I decide to grab a soda for myself from the cooler. Just before I place my items on the counter, a man comes up to the line and starts talking to me.)

    Customer: “Hey! Can I go in front of you?”

    (I look at his full cart, and then at the two items in my hand.)

    Customer: “I mean, since I have so much less stuff than you, it’ll just be much faster.”

    (Again, I look at his full cart and at the TWO items in my hands. I pause for 30 seconds not fully understanding what’s going on before I finally respond. He seems kind of agitated and since I’m not in a hurry, and don’t want to cause an incident, I let him go in front of me.)

    Me: “Sure, go ahead…”

    (A few minutes later he’s finally done and I place my items on the counter. My total comes up to less than five bucks and I go to pay when I’m stopped by a woman who was in line behind both me and the man from earlier.)

    Customer #2: “Please, let me pay for these.”

    (I’m a bit shocked, and immediately protest, but the cashier cuts me off.)

    Cashier: “Kid, I’m not letting you pay. That idiot insisted on skipping you, even though you CLEARLY have less items than he did, and you didn’t make any fuss about it. You deserve much more than just this. It’s people like you that make this soul sucking worthless job bearable.”

    Carting Her Off To Justice

    | Woodinville, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I am shopping at a popular grocery and am in the long line to check out. I notice a cart nearby with a kid. It starts rolling into a shelf. I grab it before any damage is done.)

    Me: “Hey, whose cart is this with the kid?”

    (I see a woman at the meat department with a phone, talking away. I believe she has a purse that matches the coat on the cart.)

    Me: “Ma’am your kid almost rolled into—”

    (She waves me off and continues talking on the phone. I sigh, reposition the cart, then get back into the line.)

    Customer In Front: “Stupid woman, leaving her kid to roll off to God knows where.”

    Me: “I hope the phone call is worth the—”

    (I notice the cart rolling again, so I stop it. This time, the woman notices.)

    Woman: “What are you doing to my kid you… you… kidnapper!?”

    Me: “I was stopping the cart.”

    Woman: *snatches the cart from me* “Stay away from my baby.”

    Customer In Front: *laughs* “Well, least she paying attention now.”

    (The woman continues glaring at me. A few minutes pass, and the customer in front is done being checked out. However, I’m surprised when the woman and two cops approach me.)

    Woman: *points to me* “There he is, the kidnapper!”

    Officer #1: *to me* “Alright bub, let’s go.”

    Officer #2: *getting cuffs out* “I got him.”

    Customer In Front: “Woah, officers! Stop! You haven’t even heard his story!”

    Woman: “He tried to kidnap my baby! That’s the story!”

    (The two officers talk to people in the line about what happened, and are eventually convinced about my side of the story.)

    Officer #1: “Ma’am, please put your hands on the counter.”

    Woman: “What! What for? I’m not a kidnapper! I refuse!”

    Officer #2: “Please work with us, not against us.”

    Woman: “Arrest that man for kidnapping!”

    Officer #2: “Ma’am, you are under arrest for abandoning a minor, and for endangering a minor. We will contact your husband or a relative at the station to get your child.”

    Woman: “I’m innocent! He was kidnapping!” *she screams all the way out*

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