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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    A Pricing One-Eighty On His 360

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I am ringing up a customer purchasing a mildly anticipated videogame.)

    Me: “Before I start ringing these up, would you happen to have your [store name] rewards card with you?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t even have one! Those are just a way for you to get more money out of me!”

    Me: “Actually, we offer the basic version for free. If you would like to sign up now all you have to do is—”

    Customer: “I said no, godd*** it!”

    Me: “Alright, sir. No problem. I’ll just ring these up then.”

    (The customer is buying a used Xbox 360, and five or so games. It takes me a few minutes to grab the Xbox and games from the back, as the ones on display are empty to prevent theft.)

    Me: “Okay, would you like to put $10 down on a pre-order for any games?”

    Customer: “No! Just hurry it up!”

    Me: “Alright your total is $210.67.”

    Customer: “I told you earlier I only wanted to spend $200 on this.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You will have to put one of these games back or trade one for a cheaper one. The used versions are always cheaper and work just as well as the new ones.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand! I want to spend $200 on this stuff.”

    (This goes on for a few minute, until he finally decides to exchange one of the games for a cheaper one.)

    Me: “Alright your total is $183.43.”

    Customer: “Are you stupid?! I only want to spend $200!”

    Me: *gives up* “Okay, your total is now $200 dollars.”

    Customer: “Finally!”

    (He hands me the money, grabs his items, and leaves without his receipt. I felt it would be wrong to keep the money, so I gave about half off the price for the next nice customer.)

    Fuel-Good Moments

    | PEI, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

    (I am working overnight at a gas station when a lady comes in looking very stressed out.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “I’ve been better. I need gas and I’m hoping my cards work.”

    (She places two credit cards and a debit card on the counter.)

    Me: *looking at the cards* “You had $20 on pump 3, right?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    (At this point, I pull my wallet out and pay for her gas.)

    Customer: *tearing up* “Why did you do that?”

    Me: “I’ve been in your shoes and it sucks, so I like to help out whenever I can.”

    Customer: *struggling to hold back tears* “Thank you so so much. I promise to pay you back!”

    Me: “Don’t worry about it, please enjoy the rest of your evening!”

    (A few days later she came back in trying her hardest for me to take the money, but I wouldn’t. She comes in every night talk to me, so I made a new friend!)

    An Extra Bag Of Hot Air

    | Helsinki, Finland | At The Checkout, Top

    (I’m serving a customer at the register, with items well into a triple digit total. He’s staring at the price display like a hawk. Even though there’s no line, I’m scanning as fast as I can.)

    Customer: “I think you charged me three bags.”

    (I look and see that one of the two carrier bags he had had indeed scanned twice. I void the extra bag.)

    Me: “Oops, sorry about that!”

    Customer: “There really should be a training program for you people.”

    Me: “I’ve been trained for this, sir.”

    Customer: “Well sure as s*** doesn’t look like it. How hard could it possibly be to scan each item once and only once?”

    Me: “It happens. I fixed it, as you can see from the display.”

    Customer: “But you’ve wasted my time with your incompetence!”

    (My manager is walking by, sees the commotion, and approaches.)

    Customer: “You really should be fired. I don’t think it’s too much to f***ing ask for you people to do your jobs properly. Perhaps if you had paid attention in school and not fooled around all the time, you wouldn’t be doing this s*** now. Moron!”

    Me: “I apologize for the error.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s not really good enough, s***head! This happens every time! The only reason I don’t go to the other store across the street is because they’re even more f***ing idiotic over there!”

    Me: “I’ve corrected the mistake now. You will only pay for the items you’re actually buying.”

    Customer: “But how the f*** can I be sure of that now?! I only get the f***ing receipt after I’ve paid! I’m left trusting potheads and morons like you to handle this s*** properly, but I guess you can’t even do that! Un-f***ing-believable!”

    (At this point, my manager comes over and speaks up.)

    Manager: “You make an excellent point, sir. I will fire this employee immediately, and your purchases today are free of charge.”

    Customer: “Really?!”

    Manager: “No. F*** off!”

    (With that, my manager closes my register and motions me to follow him. We leave for break, leaving the customer standing there, stunned.)

    Don’t Fold Under Pressure

    | UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I work in a local bookshop that was recently taken over by a large chain store. Because of this, the manager is often in the other shop down the road, as they trust me to be able to handle anything. This shop also sells items for gift wrapping.)

    Customer: “I have looked everywhere for your christening gift wrap. I find it disgusting that you don’t carry any. Get me your manager.”

    Me: “I apologise, but I’m currently the only worker in the store. I’m sure we carry gift wrap for christening. Have you checked down the isle to your left?”

    (The customer angrily goes to look. She comes back with some gift wrap mumbling about how I should be fired for being alone.)

    Customer: “This one says ‘new baby’. That’s basically the same thing as christening, right?”

    Me: “Uh, sure. Would you like this rolled or folded?”

    Customer: “Ugh. You and your questions. Just roll it!”

    (I begin to roll it.)

    Customer: “No, no! What are you doing?! Are you deaf? I said fold.”

    Me: “…of course, ma’am. I apologise.” *begins to gently fold it*

    Customer: “No, no! What are you doing?! Don’t fold it. You’ll crease the paper. Then what will the baby think?! Give it here, I’ll do it myself!”

    Me: “I apologise for creasing the paper. Here you go…”

    Customer: *aggressively folds the paper anyway and leaves*

    Receipt, Paper, Scissors

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    (I work as a cashier, and when we have no customers in line we move to the front of the lane to greet people and let them know our lane is open. Another cashier and I are at the front of our lanes chatting when a customer comes up.)

    Other Cashier: “Hi, we are both open and can help.”

    Customer: “Well, which of you wants to help me more?”

    Me: “It doesn’t really matter to us.”

    Customer: “Then how about you fight for the honor of checking out my items. You know; a fight to the death?”

    Other Cashier: “We can’t do that.”

    Me: “Yeah, too much blood. It’s a mess to clean up.”

    Customer: “Fair enough. So, how about rock, paper, scissors?”

    (We agree and play rock paper scissors to see who helps the customer. I ultimately lost, but it made the customer happy and was the highlight of the evening!)

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