Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,208 thumbs up)
  • Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Fancy Titles Are All Just Hot Air

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    (A customer comes up to my empty register. I have to put away some keys, so I am delayed slightly.)

    Me: “Sorry about the delay, sir.”

    Customer: “Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to call me sir. Why do people call me sir?”

    Me: “I don’t know. I guess it’s a sign of respect.”

    Customer: “Maybe, but it’s very American.”

    Me: “I suppose so, but what else would I call you?”

    (The customer ponders this for a while.)

    Customer: “What about, ‘old fart’?”

    Me: *laughing* “I don’t think I’d have a job if I called people that!”

    Customer: “I wouldn’t mind!”

    Only Drunk On Victory

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

    (I’m working an overnight cashier shift at a 24-hour grocery store. Since I’m not used to sleeping during the day, I haven’t gotten the best sleep, but I’m still functional. It’s about 6 am and a well-dressed customer comes to my register with coffee and bakery goods.)

    Me: *stifling a yawn* “Good morning. How are you?”

    Customer: “I’m good, and yourself?”

    Me: “Tired.”

    Customer: “Well why is that? Didn’t you sleep last night?”

    (I think he’s joking.)

    Me: “No, not at all. I’ve been up all night, but—”

    Customer: “And who’s fault is that?”

    Me: “Well, I guess I could blame my boss for scheduling me for this shift—”

    Customer: “No! It’s yours!”

    Me: “Um… what?”

    Customer: “That’s what’s wrong with you kids these days! You party all night, even though you know you have work early in the morning. Now you expect me to have sympathy for you because you have to work right after a party!”

    Me: “No, sir, I think you misunderstood—”

    Customer: “No! You listen to me, missy! I bet you’re still buzzed from that party!”

    Me: “I’ve been here all—”

    Customer: “I will be calling your store manager! I’ll tell them you came in for your shift drunk from that party you attended right before work! What do you have to say for yourself now?!”

    Me: “Well, I was trying to tell you before that I’ve been here all night long, working since 10:30 last night. I don’t do parties. To be honest, I’m not used to sleeping during the day. I am normally a morning person, so with my sleep cycle a little out of whack, coupled with the fact that I’m on the last hour of my eight-hour shift, I feel my tiredness is warranted. Is there anything else I can get for you today?”

    (The man instantly shuts up, and mumbles an apology. He doesn’t make eye contact with me as he cashes out and leaves. As tired as I am, the argument victory makes my last hour go by faster!)

    The Long Line Of The Law

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Money, Top

    (I’m a police officer in full uniform. I stop in a local store and notice a loud customer ahead of me in the line.)

    Cashier: “Sir, you haven’t paid for that. If you leave the store, it’s stealing.”

    Customer: “Bull-s***! You did something with my card; you took my money! I’m leaving with this stuff.”

    Cashier: “No, the order was cancelled for insufficient funds. You left to get another card; the whole order needs to be rescanned.”

    (I realize that the loud customer hasn’t seen me yet. I excuse myself from the line, and move behind the irate customer as he starts mouthing off to the cashier.)

    Me: “Sir, you need to calm down and let the lady do her job. She’s trying to help you as fast as she can.”

    Customer: “Man, f*** you. Who the f*** do you think you—”

    (He turns around to look at me, and immediately goes all sheepish.)

    Customer: “Sorry, officer.”

    Me: “Yeah, I thought so.”

    (The customer calms down, and is out of the store in five minutes. It’s a shame that some people will not act civilly unless they’re given a friendly reminder that there are consequences for acting like a turd.)

    Talking Non-Cents In The Dollar Store

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (It’s a busy Saturday, and both our cash registers are lined up with customers. A woman is stood next to the line-up, clearing her throat and trying to get my attention. She finally shoves her way to the cash, ahead of the line-up.)

    Customer: “I need to return all these stickers. I was charged $7, when they’re only supposed to be $2!”

    (I’d normally send her to the back of the line, but at this point it will be faster just to serve her and get her out of the way.)

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, sometimes when we’re busy a cashier can miss a mistake like that. I just need your receipt.”

    Customer: “I don’t have my receipt! I shouldn’t have to keep my receipt; you made the mistake!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; but I cannot do a return or exchange without a receipt. There has been an issue lately of people trying to return items they didn’t pay for.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a thief? You charged me $5 extra per sticker, and I bought ten stickers! Give me my money!”

    Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry. I cannot do a return or exchange without a receipt. If you’d like to wait a few minutes, my manager will be back from her break. Honestly, she’s only going to tell you the same thing, however.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous, I’m not waiting around for anyone! You’re wasting my time; now give me my money back! This happens all the time here! You guys didn’t ask for a receipt the last time! I’m a paying customer! I bought a bunch of these stickers before, and the same thing happened!”

    Me: “If this has happened to you with this item before, why didn’t you confirm they were ringing in at the correct price the second time?”

    (The woman turns beet red. Without saying anything, she throws the stack of stickers at me and storms out the door, shoving past people as she goes.)

    Next Customer: “They really need to give you kids hazard pay for this s***.”

    A Good Attitude About A Bad Attitude

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (Our refund policy has a shorter timeframe than most people assume, and they usually don’t read their receipts. A customer walks in carrying a bag with one of our games; she’s on her cell phone.)

    Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I just want to return this. I do not need to be spending $30 on a game right now.”

    (She continues her phone conversation.)

    Me: “Do you have your receipt with you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it’s in the bag, honey.”

    Me: “Okay, let me just check it.”

    (I see that she’s a couple of days past the refund window.)

    Me: “All right, I can get you a store credit for this.”

    Customer: “What? You mean I can’t get my money back?”

    Me: “It says right here, ‘Last day for refund is [date]’.”

    (She is a little bit shocked, and continues talking on her cell phone.)

    Customer: “They say I can’t return it… I can only get a store credit! I just drove all this way for nothing!”

    (I prepare for her to start yelling at me.)

    Customer: “Oh, I can’t believe this. I need to go. Just put it back in the bag. I need to take my bad attitude out of here!”

    Me: “Um, sorry about that.”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s okay; it’s not you, honey!”

    (She grabs the bag and leaves quickly, still on her cell phone. I turn to my coworker.)

    Me: “I can’t believe she didn’t yell at me! She just recognized that she was upset and left. This has never happened before!”

    Page 149/227First...147148149150151...Last