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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Deference To The Difference

    , | Plano, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am working drive thru.)

    Customer: “I want orange chicken and fried rice.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. Would you like that as a one side/one entree bowl, or as a one side/two entree plate with double orange chicken?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The bowl is $6.05 and the plate is $7.13.”

    Customer: “No, not the price! What is the difference?”

    Me: “Well, one has a single side and a single entree and it comes in a bowl, and the other has a single side and two entrees and it comes on a plate.”

    Customer: “But, what’s the difference?”

    This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 2

    | Staten Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am standing in line when a customer comes up behind me with two boxes of about 20 cans of soda each.)

    Customer: “Can I go ahead of you?”

    Me: “You want to cut in line?”

    Customer: “No, I just need to talk to the woman in front of you!”

    (The customer in front of me doesn’t seem to know him. However ,he only has two items, and I have forgotten to grab oranges anyway, so I say sure and dash back to the produce section. When I return, I hear the tail end of their conversation.)

    Customer: “So if you let me put my soda on your bill, I can get a discount because you’re spending more than $20, and I’ll pay for the soda!”

    Customer In Front: “Okay, fine.”

    (The cashier finishes ringing the customer in front’s order, makes a note of the price, and scans the two boxes of soda. The customer in front of me pays her share, and then the cashier turns to the man with the soda, after carefully subtracting the customer in front’s cost from the total.)

    Cashier: “You owe $17.70.”

    Customer: “What? That’s ridiculous. It’s too much! I’m not paying that!”

    Cashier: “Are you kidding? You can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Just take it off!”

    Cashier: “You cut in line, held everybody up while you explained this, made a big fuss, and now you’re going to hold everybody up again while we call a manager to void this?”

    Customer: “F*** you! I didn’t do anything wrong.” *storms out*

    Related:
    This Is Soda-Pressing

    The Question Is Timeless, Not Ageless

    | Antwerp, Belgium | At The Checkout, Money

    (My mum and I are waiting in line to buy our ticket. We are behind two older ladies.)

    Old Lady: “No, I’m not telling you my age. I tell you, it is most impolite for you to ask.”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I did not want to offend, but you do—”

    Old Lady: “Well, you were. You don’t ask a lady her age!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, but—”

    Old Lady: “Give us our tickets already!”

    (The cashier finishes the transaction, and still a bit undignified, both ladies leave. My mum and I approach the cashier.)

    My Mum: “I have no problem telling you I am over 55, and have proof for you too. Now, I believe you do have senior citizen discount for which I qualify?”

    Cashier: “Certainly, ma’am. So that will be one senior citizen and one adult?”

    (Both ladies, clearly above 55, hear my mum speak; realizing their error, they look at their tickets and then to the cashier as to judge their chances of getting money back. With some disappointment, they decide against it.)

    Past The Point Of No Return, Part 4

    | West Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a pet store as a dog trainer and cashier. My brother drops me off to work, and since he has a cat, he decides to come inside to buy a few things. I clock in and start to ring up a customer’s product.)

    Customer: “Oh, this is a return.”

    Me: “Ah, okay. Do you have your receipt with you?”

    Customer: “No, but I want my money back.”

    Me: “Okay, well [Store] policy says that if you don’t have a receipt, the only thing that I can do is give you store credit. I—”

    Customer: “That is just bull-s***! The other stores in [location] always give me my money back! You are going to give me my money back!”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t have a store in that location. I know what store you are talking about, but they aren’t connected to us.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! You are going to give me my money back! YOU are going to right now!”

    (My brother decides to come to my help.)

    My Brother: “HEY! You do NOT talk to her, or anyone, like that!”

    Customer: “She won’t give me my money back; I want my money back!”

    My Brother: “I get that it’s an inconvenience for you, but she explained the policy to you. You did not have to swear at her like that. You should be ashamed of yourself! There are kids here! That is completely disrespectful!”

    Customer: “You’re right; I’m sorry.”

    My Brother: “Don’t apologize to me; apologize to HER!”

    (My brother then proceeds to point at me. At this point I know just to keep my mouth shut, and let my brother talk. This isn’t the first time he’s saved me from bullying; it has just been years since he had to. The customer does a double take at me, and with much hesitance speaks.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry.”

    (My manager comes up and saves me from the situation.)

    Manager: “Why don’t you finish up with the family I was working with?”

    (I nod. My brother then goes back to finishing his purchase and leaves while I finish up with the family. I start to walk away when I hear the customer again, talking to my manager.)

    Customer: “I want you to know that I am NEVER coming here again! This is NOT how you treat customers! We are always right!”

    Manager: “Well, sir, she did try to explain the policy to you, and you did interrupt her. Had you let her finish, she’d have told you that only a manager would take care of what you wanted.”

    Customer: “She didn’t explain anything to me! I am going to write a horrendous report and shut you guys down!”

    Manager: “Well, that’s alright sir; I hope you have a nice day and good luck with another store.”

    (He then storms out. The rest of the day I worry that I might have got the store in trouble. The next day someone who witnessed the whole thing sent a report to corporate and explained, in detail, everything that happened and that I, nor the store, did anything wrong. To this day I have no clue who it was that sent in that report, but they might’ve saved my job, and definitely made my day. Faith in humanity restored!)

    Related:
    Past The Point Of No Return, Part 3
    Past The Point Of No Return, Part 2
    Past The Point Of No Return

    The Bill Of Wrongs

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, this receipt.”

    Me: “Was there something wrong with the charges?”

    Customer: “No, they’re fine, I just don’t… like it.”

    Me: “What don’t you like about it?”

    Customer: “Well, for instance, the total should be on the top, not the bottom. And my name should be on the bottom, not the top. See? And the font should be prettier.”

    Me: “So what you’re saying is you don’t like the format of our receipt?”

    Customer: “Exactly!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but to change the format of our receipt would mean that we have change our computer’s automatic program.”

    Customer: “Well DO it then!”

    Me: “That would take hours.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t HAVE hours! I have a plane to catch!”

    Me: “I’ll get the manager.”

    (I get the manager and he explains exactly what I said to the woman, who gets more and more irritated by the second.)

    Customer: “Fine! I thought you gave good service here; I guess I was wrong! Hmph!”

    (The customer takes her bill and storms off in a huff. Later, we get a survey back taken from her, giving us poor reviews on our service. I have gotten a lot of crazy requests before, but never that!)

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