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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Too Rich For Jesus’ Blood

    | Gulf Shores, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is late November, after Thanksgiving. I am working at the register closest to the Christmas stuff. Nearly everyone comes through with something for the holidays. A customer comes to my counter with a can of bug spray.)

    Me: “Hello. Is this everything?”

    Customer: “Yeah. I couldn’t find any d*** patio furniture because you moved all the f****** Christmas crap in! It’s getting earlier every year!”

    (I decide not to point out that it’s almost December and instead try a different approach.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I think they try to do that so the regular, working person can have a good Christmas. I mean, it costs a lot of money to buy the tree, the lights, and presents all at once. But if we get the stuff out early, people can buy a bit each week and have a pretty good spread by Christmas.”

    Customer: “Ugh! If they can’t afford everything at once, they just shouldn’t celebrate! Poor people don’t deserve Christmas!”

    (I am stunned as the customer grabs her item off the counter and stomps away. The next customer behind her dumps an entire pile of wrapping paper and bows on the counter.)

    Next Customer: *loudly* “Yeah! Didn’t you know Jesus, the Savior of mankind, was born in a five-star hotel?”

    Christmas Consideration

    | Richmond, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is the Saturday after Thanksgiving. There is only one register open as the day is just beginning. My shopping cart is filled with three dozen books and other sundry items.)

    Cashier: “Good morning. Can I interest you in signing up today for a [Store] card? You’ll save on future purchases here at [Store].”

    Me: “Only if you open a second register to help the lady behind me.”

    (We both turn at look at a 40-ish female carrying at least a dozen different items. She can barely see or carry her load.)

    Cashier: “Madam, we can help you at lane two. We’ve just opened it.”

    Me: *to the cashier* “Thank you. My name is…”

    (Registering for the card and checking out took just a few minutes. Stay classy out there, fellow Christmas shoppers!)

    Makes You Either Laugh Or Cry, I’m Telling You Why

    , | UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working on a till in the run-up to Christmas. I’m 20, but I look a bit younger. A customer and I have been chatting about her plans for the day ahead.)

    Customer: “Do you work here full-time?”

    Me: “No. I’m actually only on contract for eight hours per week, but I’m doing about thirty at the moment, with Christmas coming up.”

    Customer: “Oh. I don’t know about all that. I say to my children, they’re about your age, I think you’re old enough to know by now—” *drops into a stage whisper* “—there’s no Father Christmas. Thank you. Have a nice day!”

    (When the customer is gone, my supervisor comes over.)

    Supervisor: “You look like you’re in shock. What happened?”

    Me: “She told me Santa’s not real…”

    Gifted At Bad Gift Wrapping

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Holidays, Love/Romance, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Would you like me to gift wrap that for you?”

    Customer: “Yes. But can you make it look a bit crap so my girlfriend thinks I did it?”

    Doesn’t Understand The ‘A Time For Giving’ Part

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I work at a toy store. During the Christmas season, we take donations to ‘Toys for Tots,’ a program that helps kids in need get toys they otherwise couldn’t afford. A boy who has just turned 10 comes in with birthday money and buys some Pokémon toys. This happens at the end.)

    Me: “Okay, hon. Your total is [total]. Would you like to donate to ‘Toys for Tots’ today?”

    Boy: “Yes. I want to donate.”

    (I assume he wants to donate a dollar or so, as most people do.)

    Me: “Okay. How much would you like to donate?”

    Boy: “$50.”

    Me: “Are you sure? That’s a pretty big donation!”

    Boy: *nods*

    Me: “Okay. Thank you so much!”

    (At this point a customer behind me speaks up.)

    Customer: “He can’t give you that much! You’re just keeping it for yourself anyway. And besides, those people are just lazy! If they actually worked instead of mooching off the government then maybe their parents could get them s***!”

    (My jaw drops. I am about to tell the customer off, when the boy steps in.)

    Boy: “Don’t talk like that! Besides, I saved up this money for my birthday, and I can pick how I want to spend it! And they aren’t lazy. Sometimes people just need help. I hope if you needed help, someone would help you. Because that’s what God says to do!”

    (The customer shut up after that. I was really proud of that little boy. He did donate the $50, an amount most adults won’t even pay!)

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