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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    A Mini Point Makes A Large Difference

    | Derby, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (Two customers have entered. Customer #1 points at me, and starts talking to his friend.)

    Customer #1: “Jesus! Check out that Snooty-B**** on the till!”

    Customer #2: “Dude, chill out! Have some respect!”

    Customer #1: “She’s way too dumb for that! B**** needs to be put in her place!”

    (The customer proceeds to harass me about my education, my appearance, and anything he can get to, before he eventually decides to order. I’ve been totally silent.)

    Me: “Thank you for that. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer #1: “Ha! I’ll get one of those large, mini fillets burgers; think you can manage that?”

    Me: “A large mini fillet burger?”

    Customer #1: “Um, duh?! I told you that you were thick as s***!”

    Me: “A large mini fillet burger? So… a fillet burger, then?”

    (Customer #1is speechless.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah… you sure put her in her place.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17

    | Reston, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to get a refund for an item I purchased from your online store.”

    Me: “Sure, I can help with that. Just let me see the item so I can pull it up in our system.”

    Customer: “Well, the item hasn’t arrived yet. It’s still being delivered.”

    Me: “Oh, we won’t be able to issue a refund unless you actually give us something to refund. When the item arrives, bring it back here and we can give you your money back, no problem!”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you won’t give me a freaking refund! This is unacceptable! I bought the item, and you d*** well better give me my money back!”

    Me: “Sir, I understand that you’d like to get your money refunded. Without giving us your item back, it’s like we’re just giving it to you. We can’t give you the money today, only to have you return here a few days later to give us the item back!”

    Customer: “Well, why would I need to return here? I would have already gotten my money back by then!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    Yukon Feel The Heat

    | Whitehorse, YT, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (It’s in the middle of December, in the Yukon, which is famous for its minus 40 degree winters. Our store’s heaters have failed. My coworker is under-dressed in a thin long-sleeve shirt. I’m wearing a heavy sweater, but I still feel the cold. Despite the weather, we actually have a customer come inside. We temporarily ignore our shivering state to help her out.)

    Customer: “Hello, I’ll just take these for today.”

    Me: “Alright, did you need a bag for anything?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, I’m fine. You two look awfully cold.”

    Me: “We kind of are.”

    Coworker: “Our heaters aren’t working like they should be, so we’re kind of stuck.”

    Customer: “Oh, well just a second…”

    (We both wait as she rummages around in her purse. After a moment, she pulls out a packaged gel pack of some kind, and rips open the product right before us.)

    Customer: “Here, try this!”

    (Inside the gel pack is a metal button. She snaps it, and the gel pack hardens. To our surprise, it starts giving off a tremendous amount of heat.)

    Customer: “This is one of those reusable hand warmers; they’re perfect for pockets!”

    (My coworker and I both take a turn examining the item, appreciating the amount of heat it’s giving off.)

    Me: “Wow, this thing is great!”

    Coworker: “This has got to be one of the best things I’ve ever had the pleasure of coming across!”

    Customer: “Well, you two have a good day now!”

    Me: “We will!”

    (The customer leaves without another word. We share the tiny heater until it runs out of heat. The customer even leaves the instructions, so we can reuse it again and again. We both appreciated her kindness, as it literally warmed our hearts that day. Thank you!)

    Related:
    Yukon Freeze It, Part 2
    Yukon Freeze It

    How To PIN Them To The Crime

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal

    (I’m a customer at a supermarket, in line behind a 30-40 year old woman, along with two other girls who appear late teens or early twenties. One of their items is a wine cooler. The woman points to the alcohol and starts chatting.)

    Customer: “I’m getting this for my dog; he loves [wine]!”

    Cashier: “Alright, I’ll need to see your companions’ IDs before I can sell this to you.”

    Customer: “She hasn’t got anything to do with me; this is mine!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry; I can’t legally sell it to you until I’m sure they aren’t minors.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t know who she is. Just let me buy it!”

    Cashier: “I can’t; I could lose my job.”

    Customer: “Just get your d*** manager!”

    (The cashier calls the manager to the register.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Cashier: “This woman came in with these two, wanting to buy alcohol, and went off when I said I needed their ID.”

    Customer: “D*** right I went off! This b**** better give me my [wine]. I don’t even know those two!”

    Manager: “Well, I’m sorry, but it’s law. I can’t sell it to you.”

    Customer: “Whatever.”

    (She swipes the card, then turns to the younger woman she supposedly doesn’t know.)

    Customer: “Put your PIN in!”

    Younger Woman: “You don’t need it.”

    Customer: “Yes I do; I don’t know it!”

    (The very embarrassed younger woman types in the PIN, and the three leave together.)

    Me: *to the cashier* “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

    Cashier: “All day long.”

    Making A Spectacle Of Herself

    | Middlebury, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I normally wear contacts. I am in a rush before work and just put my glasses on. A regular customer comes through later in the morning.)

    Me: “Hi! Just a medium today?”

    Regular: “Just the medium—hey, you’re wearing glasses! You never wore them before.”

    Me: “That’s because I always wear my contacts, ma’am.”

    Regular: “Don’t lie to me. You don’t need those!”

    Me: “I’ve needed glasses since I was nine.”

    Regular: “You know, I’m sick of you ‘hipster’ kids wearing ‘nerd’ glasses for fun! There are those of us that need them, and don’t appreciate what you’re doing!”

    (I motion to my black plastic frames with their small rectangular lenses.)

    Me: “I’m not hipster, and my lenses are too small to be nerdy.”

    (The regular reaches across the counter, and grabs the glasses off my face.)

    Regular: “You kids need to realize glasses aren’t just a fashion accessory!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please give those back.”

    (The regular puts them on, then flings them to the floor when she realizes exactly how strong they are. She picks them up and scratches a lens as she tries to figure out if they’re real. She throws them on the counter, breaking off one of the side arms.)

    Regular: “What the h*** is wrong with those? Why are the lenses so weird?”

    Me: “As I said, ma’am, I’ve needed glasses since I was nine. Actually, my vision is so bad that I legally cannot drive or even work without wearing vision correction. You just broke my only pair of glasses, which the local vision center does not carry anymore. How would you like to repay me for these?”

    (The regular takes her coffee and pretty much runs. My manager sees the whole thing on camera from the office, and gets her information from the next time she comes in. Because we have proof she had destroyed my property, she didn’t fight handing me a check to cover the cost of a whole new pair of glasses.)

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