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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Desperately Needs Change In His Life

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I work at an amusement park. They are very strict about the money, and I am the head cashier. It’s about 100 degrees out, and there’s a long line of about 100 people waiting to place an order. A customer rudely cuts everyone in line, and starts talking to me.)

    Rude Customer: “Hey bud, can you give me four quarters for a dollar?”

    Customer In Line: “Hey, I was in line!”

    Rude Customer: “Relax, I’ll only be a second.”

    (The customer ignores the rest of the customers complaints.)

    Me: “No, sir. I’m sorry; we’re not allowed to open the register.”

    Rude Customer: “Aw, come on man! I just need four quarters.”

    Me: “Well, if you want change, you can go to the customer service desk at the front of the park.”

    Rude Customer: “Are you f****** serious!? It’s 100 f****** degrees outside; I am not going to the other side of the d*** park, you a**-wipe!”

    Customer In Line: “Dude, no need to be a jack-a**. Plus, you cut in line anyways.”

    Rude Customer: “Mind your own business you old lady. Dude, seriously, give me my f****** change for a dollar!”

    (My manager overhears.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

    Rude Customer: “I need change for this f****** dollar, and your stupid-a** cashier won’t do it.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re not allowed to make change for a dollar. You need to go to the front of the park and go to customer service. They’ll do i—”

    Rude Customer: “I was already f****** told that! And I already said, I am not walking all the f****** way over there!”

    Customer In Line #2: “Dude, shut the f*** up already! We’re waiting in line for food, and clearly you’re not getting your change!”

    Rude Customer: “Mind your own d*** business! I need it ’cause my girlfriend is on her f****** period!”

    Customer In Line #3: “Here’s a stupid quarter you a**-wipe!”

    (Customer In Line #3 proceeds to throw quarters at the customer who cut in line. The customer then proceeds to pick up the quarters. My manager bends over the counter and looks down at the man.)

    Manager: “You have 10 minutes to get your girlfriend her tampon, and out of my park, before I call security!”

    (The customers in line start clapping as he runs away, with no girlfriend in sight!)

    Stink-Eye For The Stinky Guy

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (I’m standing in line at a large retail store. There are about three people in front of me. There are the only two registers open in the entire store, but because of the amount of people, it’s all converged into one long line. A customer walks forward, and lets out a large ‘HUMPH’ when she sees the length of the line. She then starts to walk in front of everyone in line to the front-most register. She’s blocked at the point of entry into the checkout line by a teenage boy reading a magazine off the display rack.)

    Customer: “Are you standing in both lines?”

    (The question startles the boy. It looks as though he is about to move forward to get out of her way, until he sees at the disgusted look on her face. He changes his mind and smirks.)

    Teenager: “Yup!”

    Customer: “Humph! You’re standing in both lines?”

    (The teenage boy then gets a rather painful look on his face, and rips out a loud fart. He just smiles at the customer. Everyone in line starts to laugh. Both cashiers have actually stopped scanning items in amazement.)

    Customer: “Humph!”

    (The woman leaves her entire cart—which must have taken over an hour to fill—at the checkout and walks out. She gives the stink-eye to the boy, who is still smiling.)

    Acts Of Kindness Do Register

    | Kirksville, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    (I’m working as a cashier during the Black Friday sale. We’ve just had new registers installed a few months prior. It is extremely busy because of the sale. I’ve finished scanning everything for a customer.)

    Me: “Okay, your total is $1458.97.”

    Customer: “Okay, credit.”

    (She scans her card, and my entire register crashes. My screen is totally black.)

    Me: “Uh… I need to call a supervisor over. My register just crashed.”

    (My supervisor comes over, and I explain the situation.)

    Customer: “Oh, no! Did I break it?”

    Supervisor: “No, it’s possible that all the transactions have just overloaded the system. I’ll take you to the service desk, and we’ll fix this.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (She follows my supervisor. The other supervisors move the rest of my line to the service desk. I go outside to take my break, when another customer approaches me.)

    Customer #2: “Were you the one whose register broke down?”

    Me: “Yeah, that was me.”

    Customer #2: “That must have been a bit nerve wracking.”

    Me: “Yeah, but at least that lady was calm about it. It could have been a lot worse!”

    Customer #2: “Are you guys allowed drinks while you’re working?”

    Me: “Not normally, but they are allowing it tonight because of the sale. I should go back in and get back to work. Have a nice night.”

    (I return, and my register is working properly. About an hour later, Customers #1 and #2 come back though my line. They set one of every drink we sell by the checkout lines on my counter.)

    Customer #1: “Pick one.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer #1: *points to Customer #2* “My husband told me that he talked to you on your break. You were very calm, and didn’t have anything bad to say. So pick a drink; it’s on me!”

    (One of my supervisors comes over and assures me it’s okay.)

    Me: “Okay, thank you. I’ll take this one.”

    (It turns out they were from the corporate office, and they gave my manager a great letter of commendation! I never volunteered for Black Friday after that though!)

    A Drought Of Nice Customers

    | Palmerston North, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (We are having a really bad drought in the North Island at the moment, so we have some serious water restrictions. It’s the top of everyone’s mind, and everyone’s talking about it.)

    Me: *to customer at drive-thru* “That’ll be [total].”

    Customer: “Okay, here you go. Wow, it’s going to be another scorcher today, huh?”

    Me: “I know, I’m just about to go do a rain dance.”

    Customer: “I know how you feel. We’re on tank water, and it’s running a little low for us.”

    Me: “Well, in town we’ve just got all the regular restrictions; we’re not watering and stuff. My mum’s so upset; she’s lost her entire veggie garden because she can’t water during the day.”

    Customer: “That must be pretty hard on her. We’re doing okay, because we’ve been so careful and everything.”

    (My coworker hands me her meal, and I hand it straight out.)

    Me: “Here you go, all done!”

    Customer: “Wow, that was fast! Thanks!”

    (I think she’s about to drive away, so I move to shut the window.)

    Customer: “Hang on! Can I see your manager, please?”

    (Confused, I grab the manager on the floor.)

    Manager: “Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “I just wanted to tell you how lovely it is to get a pleasant employee at the drive-thru window. This young lady has been talking to me the entire time I was here, and it made the time absolutely fly. You so rarely get pleasant people in the service industry. I just wanted to say how nice she was. Thank you, and have a good day!”

    (With that, she drives off. My manager gives me a thumbs-up, and I feel good the rest of my shift. Sometimes you get some good ones!)

    Reading Aloud Shouldn’t Be Allowed

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Top

    Customer: “I’d like to buy a dozen donuts.”

    Me: “Sure! What kind would you like?”

    Customer: “What kind do you have?”

    Me: “Sir, all of our donuts are on display behind me, with labels in front of them. You can have a look, and tell me what you would like.”

    Customer: “I can read! I want you to tell me what kind of donuts you sell! That’s your job!”

    (I turn around, and proceed to read each label aloud. My coworker at the ice cream counter watches and snickers. The man waits until I have read every label, and then makes his selections.)

    Me: “Will that be all?”

    Customer: “Do you have muffins?”

    (I gesture to the shelves full of muffins.)

    Me: “Yes, we have a variety of muffins.”

    Customer: “What kind?”

    (My coworker chokes with laughter. I turn around again, and read the muffin labels. When I finish, the man selects two muffins.)

    Me: “Will that be all?”

    Customer: “I think I’ll have some ice cream, too.”

    Me: “Okay! I’ll ring up your items here, and then you can go and make your selections at the ice cream counter.”

    (The man completes his order, then goes over to the ice cream section. My coworker is still giggling with his back to the counter, and hasn’t seen the customer yet.)

    Customer: “What kind of ice cream do you have?”

    Coworker: *stops giggling*

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