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  • Making A Mute Point
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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Gift Card And Ye Shall Receive

    | Texas, USA | At The Checkout

    (I’ve just finished a week of cashier training for a large retail store. This is my first customer.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you?”

    Customer: “At the end, I have a gift card I want to use. Is that cool?”

    Me: “Sure thing!” *rings up her items* “Your total is $10.97.”

    Customer: “There’s no way that’s my total.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “I said I had a gift card. Add it now.”

    Me: “Maybe I’m misunderstanding…did you want to purchase one and add money to it?”

    Customer: “No! I want to use my gift card to pay for my s***!”

    Me: *slightly panicking* “I apologize. May I swipe it for you?”

    Customer: “Ugh! No! I don’t have it here with me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you need to have it with—”

    Customer: *throws hands up in the air* “Forget it! I’ll go somewhere where they know what they’re doing!” *leaves without paying for anything*

    Like Her Hearing, Her Cents Comes And Goes

    | Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    Customer: “Hey, I believe I was charged the wrong price for this item. Could you refund it to me?”

    Me: “Oh, of course, ma’am. Let me just see the receipt and I’d be happy to.”

    Customer: “Here it is.”

    (The customer hands me a receipt that is over three feet long and totals over $300.)

    Me: “All right, which did you believe you were over-charged on?”

    Customer: *points out three items*

    Me: “Ma’am, it seems that you were charged an extra two cents for these two items here. Do you really want me to refund you the two pennies?”

    Customer: “YES! And to be sure I want you to return and re-ring my purchase to make sure.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (20 minutes later, after re-ringing her entire purchase, I let her know that she’ll be getting two pennies back.)

    Customer: “What?! Why did you even do that if it was only two cents?! How stupid can you be?”

    Me: “Um, ma’am, I informed you that you’d only get the two pennies back before I did the transaction.”

    Customer: “No you didn’t! I can’t believe the incompetence of the people working here!”

    (She takes her bag and walks out of the store, yelling obscenities the whole way.)

    Eau de Toilet

    , | Eau Claire, WI, USA | At The Checkout

    (I am ringing up a customer. While she is waiting for me to finish, I suggest that she tries our fragrances.)

    Customer: *sprays fragrance* “This stuff smells like a toilet.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer’s friend: *laughs hysterically*

    Customer: “It’s not a bad thing, though. It smells like a clean toilet.”

    The Year Of Spending Dangerously

    | Utah, USA | At The Checkout

    Me: “Since you’re using a credit card, I need to see your ID, please.”

    Customer: “Oh, for crying out loud!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we ask for ID for your safety.”

    Customer: *getting agitated* “Well, I don’t want to be safe, so just knock it off already!”

    Time For A Can Of Womb-A**

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (I’m seven months pregnant and am working the checkout.)

    Customer: “Oh, you’re pregnant! It’s a girl, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yes, she is.”

    Customer: “I could tell. Girls take all the beauty away from their mothers.”


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