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  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    When Intelligences Cancel Out, Part 2

    | Lawrence, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I work as a cashier. At the checkout, the display on the cash back screen shows the amounts. Underneath is a large “No Cash Back” button, and below that in the corner is a small “Cancel” button.)

    Me: “Your total is $25.88.”

    Customer: “This will be debit.” *swipes card* “Oh, I hit the ‘Cancel’ button.”

    Me: “That’s okay. You’ll need to swipe it again.”

    Customer: “I don’t get why you can’t make this clearer! I don’t want cash back.”

    Me: “Then you need to hit the button that says ‘No Cash Back’, not the ‘Cancel’ button.”

    Customer: “That’s just dumb! Why don’t you make a button that just says ‘Cancel’ if you don’t want cash back?!”

    Related:
    When Intelligences Cancel Out

    To Conjugate A Thief

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

    (Although I don’t look like it, I am fluent in Japanese and Korean. I am working at a register, checking out a Japanese family that is buying snacks.)

    Father: *in Japanese* “Son, when the cashier isn’t looking, put the candy bars in your pockets so we don’t have to pay for them.”

    (Hearing this, I add the candy bars to the purchase. The family pays and leaves. Two minutes later, the father returns.)

    Father: “Why did you charge me for four candy bars?! I didn’t buy any candy bars! You just charged me to make extra money! I want to see your manager!”

    Me: *in Japanese* “Maybe you should come up with your plans to steal 89 cent candy bars BEFORE you come up to the register.”

    (The father was stunned. He apologized and left embarrassed.)

    Your Mood Speaks Volumes

    | Berlin, VT, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (A customer obviously having a bad day comes through my line. She throws her stuff down on the belt.)

    Me: “Did you find everything—”

    Customer: “JUST DO YOUR JOB!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    (I give her the total, and she all but throws her money at me and rips her change out of my hand.)

    Customer: “TOOK LONG ENOUGH!”

    Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

    (The next day, the same customer comes through my line. I greet her and start putting her items through.)

    Customer: “Look, I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I was having a bad day and had no right to treat you that way.”

    Me: “That’s alright, ma—”

    Customer: “NO! IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT ALRIGHT!”

    Mother Doesn’t Know Best

    | Kentucky, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (My mother and I are on a drive to Florida when we stop at a small gas station. A customer and her six- or seven-year-old daughter walk away from the restrooms to the counter.)

    Cashier: “May I help you?”

    Customer: “Your bathrooms are DISGUSTING! Let me talk to a manager! They make me SICK!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the manager isn’t in right now. Would you like me to file a complaint?”

    Customer: “No! I want you to clean the GODD*** BATHROOMS!

    (At this point, the little girl is trying to drag her mother away and is telling her to calm down. The cashier is clearly shaken and on the verge of tears.)

    Cashier: *tearing up* “I’m sorry, but that’s not my position, and the janitors aren’t in right now. Is there anything else I can do?”

    Customer: “NO, GODD*** IT! JUST GO CLEAN THE D*** TOIL—”

    (At this point, my mother has had enough and speaks up in defense of the cashier.)

    My Mother: “Look. She has told you she can’t clean it. She has offered solutions. Now use the dirty toilets or you can leave! You don’t have to be such a b****!”

    Customer: *taken aback* “Well, I…I…HMPH!”

    (She storms out, dragging her kid by the arm. After we leave a second later, we see the woman and her little daughter in the parking lot.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “Goodness, Mommy! you didn’t have to be so mean to that lady. She was crying!”

    Do As I Say, Not As I Don’t Say

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout

    (I’m cashing when an elderly customer comes to the till.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: *mumbles*

    Me: “Do you have a rewards card today?”

    Customer: *waves his hand indicating no*

    Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

    Customer: “Look, just stop asking questions. That’s what they do at [competitor], not here!”

    (I’m a bit shocked, but I put his groceries through the till in silence.)

    Me: “That’ll be [price].”

    Customer: *says nothing while he uses his debit card*

    Me: “Have a good night.”

    Customer: “It would be better if you weren’t so rude. You need to try and interact more with customers!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    Do As I Say, Not As I Say


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