Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Marriage Of The Undead
    (1,837 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    How The Cookie Crumbles, Part 2

    | Welches, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids

    (I am in line to get cookies for my second grade class that I teach for the last day of the semester. I am rather thin, have blonde hair that’s very long and dyed, and I have high heels. I am speaking to the clerk.)

    Me: “Hey, can I get these for my class?”

    (I’m pointing to a selection of pink writing icing. The customer behind me suddenly speaks up.)

    Customer: “Stupid blonde w****!”

    (The clerk and I look at him.)

    Clerk: “Please don’t use that language in here, sir.”

    Customer: “What? She is! Oh, little miss b****, what’ve you got there?”

    (The customer points to my grocery bag.)

    Customer: “Oh, let me guess! Lipstick and eye makeup, and daft things to go in your sissy blonde hair! Skinny underwear, and big bras, tampons and oh—let me guess, a massive box of condoms!”

    Me: “Listen to me. Firstly, this is not my real hair. I’m actually a ginger, but to avoid confusion with another person at work, I dyed it blonde. Secondly, I’m buying cookies for my second graders. Thirdly, I am a virgin and have a Bachelor’s Degree. Fourth, although I am about to marry someone, I am, like I said, a virgin.”

    (The customer walks out without buying anything. By the way, my class enjoyed the cookies!)

    Related:
    How The Cookie Crumbles

    Lack Of Register Does Not Register

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Top

    (We’ve been having some problems with one of our registers. It is the first one you see when entering the store, and is often assumed to be the one to use. Today, it has been taken apart, and is being worked on by one of my managers. Parts are all across the counter, and several signs are post staying the register is out of order.)

    Me: “You know, I will laugh if a customer comes up and starts unloading their stuff, expecting you to check them out.”

    Manager: “The register is taken apart, the screen is off, and there are three signs saying this is out of order. I doubt anyone will be that stupid.”

    (A customer walks up literally right after my manager says that, and starts unloading and pushing parts out of the way.)

    Customer: “Why is this counter so cluttered!?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, this register is closed; we’re doing maintenance on it.”

    Customer: “Don’t be lazy!” *continues unloading*

    Manager: “Ma’am, please go to the other check-out. [My name] will be happy to help you.”

    Customer: “No! I came to this one, and YOU WILL help me!”

    Manager: “Once again, ma’am, this register is under maintenance. I can not check you out.”

    Customer: “Lazy ungrateful brat! Get your manager!”

    Manager: “I am the manager on duty. One more outburst like that, and I will have you leave the store.”

    (The customer mumbles something, and storms out, leaving her items behind. My manager turns to me.)

    Manager: “Alright, you can laugh.”

    Chose A Bad Example For A Bad Example

    | AL, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

    (Customer #1 is a young woman, with two children under the age of three. Customer #2 has a daughter around age 12. Customer #1 is checking out.)

    Customer #2: “How can you live with yourself? Having two children at your age? You’re a disgrace! I bet my tax dollars are paying for those groceries! People like you shouldn’t be allowed to shop here. You’re a bad example for my daughter!”

    Customer #1: “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m 27. I went to a private college with a scholarship, graduated, and then became a kindergarten teacher. After teaching for two years I got married, then had kids, and my husband makes enough saving lives as a firefighter and a paramedic that I am able to stay at home with our kids. Now if that’s being a bad example for your daughter, I would love to see what you consider a good example!”

    Customer #2: “Uh, well you didn’t look old enough to… um…”

    Customer #1: “I’m going to take that as compliment that living right has kept me looking young.”

    Body Language Lost In Translation

    | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (One of our new employees is dealing with a customer who is clearly angry, and is being physically aggressive and threatening. We are on the verge of calling security, but we can see that our new employee is still very calm. We hit the button when we see the customer lunge at her, despite the fact that she doesn’t react at all, and just stares at him. I run over to see what’s wrong.)

    Me: “Hi there, I’m the manager. Is there a problem I can help with?”

    Customer: “This white b**** won’t give me the sale price!”

    (The customer waves a sale leaflet from one of our competitors in my face.)

    New Employee: *still very calm* “I tried to tell him that isn’t our flyer, and we don’t even have that item, but he doesn’t seem interested in hearing that.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me, you b****! You just don’t want me to get this great price!”

    New Employee: “Sir, I have two things to say. Firstly, that flyer is from last year—”

    Customer: “How the f*** do you know?!”

    New Employee: “Because, it’s for a summer sale, and it is currently February. Second, if we had that item at a great price and you wanted it but could not find it, I would do my best to track it down in-store for you. If we didn’t have it here, I would call other stores for you. The simple truth is that we don’t carry that particular item.”

    Customer: “How the f*** do you know?”

    New Employee: “Because, sir, it’s an adult novelty, and this is a children’s clothing store.”

    (Security arrives and escorts the customer out of the store.)

    Me: “I don’t know how you were able to stay so calm! You almost sounded bored! I don’t think your expression changed the entire time!”

    New Employee: “Oh, I have a lot of trouble with body language. I figured out a long time ago that when I get confused, it’s better not to respond at all, because usually I laugh and it makes them angry.”

    (She’s now one of our area supervisors, and is actually better at handling the rare aggressive customer we get than our security team. This is because, apparently, a person who can’t be intimidated makes people uncomfortable.)

    Ironic That She Wants A RACE Car

    | Barrie, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work at a fast food establishment that gives out toys with their kids meals. This particular month, we have dolls, or toy cars. There are four dolls in the set; two are white, one is Asian, and one is black. On this day, we only have the black doll in stock.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like a different doll, please.”

    Me: “Sorry, those are the only dolls we have available right now.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? I can see one right there.”

    (The customer points to the toy display case.)

    Me: “Those are for display only, sorry.”

    Customer: “Open your f****** case, and get me another doll! I don’t want my daughter playing with some n***** doll!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we really don’t have any other doll. If you like, hang on to it, and come back next week when we get our new toys. You can switch it then.”

    Customer: “Not good enough; I want a manager!”

    (I go into the back, and explain to a black staffer—who happens to be built like a tank—what is happening. I ask him to go up front and pretend to be the manager.)

    Coworker: “My employee explained the situation. What would you like me to do about it?”

    Customer: *turns red and looks completely terrified* “I’d like to switch this for a car, please?”

    Page 129/224First...127128129130131...Last