November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

It’s Not Cute

| Aurora, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(At my store we sell a brand of clementines known as ‘Cuties.’. Sadly, this is kind of a common occurrence.)

Me: “Sir, would you like your cuties in the box or in a bag?”

Customer: *takes them out of the box and hands it to me* “This is for you, because you’re such a cutie.” *winks*

Me: “Um… thanks…” *smiles awkwardly and finishes the transaction* “All right, sir, your total is [amount]. Would you like any help out to your car tonight?”

Customer: “Will you be the one helping me out?”

Me: “No, that would be him.” *points to the male courtesy clerk*

Customer: *face falls* “Then, no.”

Her Logic Isn’t Adding Up

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Math & Science

Me: “All right, your total comes to $26.48. Will that be cash, check, or card?”

Customer: “Card, please.”

(We finish the transaction. When I hand the customer her receipt, she squints suspiciously at it.)

Me: “… Um, is something the matter?”

Customer: “That doesn’t sound right. It’s too high. You must have overcharged me.”

Me: “Well, let’s take a look at your receipt. This item was about $10, these two were $5, this was $3, and this was $1. And there was sales tax, too. It can add up quickly.”

Customer: “I don’t believe your math. You overcharged me! This is way too much for what I bought.”

(I pull out a calculator and add each item’s exact price together. I also calculate sales tax and add that to the total, which comes out to $26.48, the exact amount she paid.)

Customer: “No, you added wrong! I don’t believe your math!”

(I add everything again, slower.)

Customer: “I don’t believe your math!”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. I’ve just proved to you that I charged you the correct price. If you’re not happy with your purchases, you can return them here.”

Customer: “No, I need these things. I’ll take them even though you overcharged me!”


, | Fort Collins, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(Two girls order a foot-long and split it. One of them wants mayonnaise and the other one doesn’t.)

Coworker: “Do you want me to wrap this as two six inches?”

Girl #1: “No, thanks.”

(They take the sub and leave. About four minutes later, they walk up with a bite taken out of one half.)

Girl #1: “You didn’t put mayonnaise on my half.”

Girl #2: “You put mayonnaise on my half.”

Me: “Did you try swapping them?”

(The girls blink, look at themselves, and then at me.)

Girl #2: “Oh, my God. I’m an IDIOT!”

Girl #1: “I’m SOOO sorry for this!”

(They walk away laughing.)

Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

, | UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(Four months before this, I broke my leg very badly while at university. I am currently working in a shop at home over the holidays. I’m at the checkouts and see a lady with her arm in a sling trying to cut in front of a very long queue.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. The queue starts over there.”

Customer: “I was standing in [other queue] for ages before someone told me it was a self service!”

Me: “Sorry, but all these people have been queuing.”

Customer: “It’s a bloody outrage. Your signs aren’t at all clear!”

Next Customer In Line: “Oh, just let her go.”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “I’ve got a sprained wrist. You people have no idea how much pain I’m in! I shouldn’t be treated like this! I’ve a good mind to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Actually, I do know. Four months ago, I broke my leg in six places and had to have several operations to fix it. I’ve been walking on it for less than a month. In order to fund myself through medical school, so I can be a doctor and help people, I’m spending nine hours a day standing on my feet serving customers who can’t do anything but complain.”

(The customer looked ashamed, mumbled a ‘sorry,’ and was polite from then on, avoiding the angry glares the other customers in line were giving her.)

Soldiering Through Bad Customers

| Westminster, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Military

(I used to work full time at a large retail clothing store. I am now in the military and when I take leave, I come back and often work a few days during a week.  A man and wife come up to the register.)

Me: “How’s your day going? Did anyone help you find everything?”

(I always ask because I don’t really have a quota I need to meet.)

Husband: “Oh, it’s going. No one helped, but we found everything easily.”

Me: “Sorry about that. Glad you found everything, though.”

Wife: “Do you make commission?”

Me: “Nope! But most of the employees have sales quotas they have to meet.”

Wife: “You don’t?”

Me: “No, I’m part time. I actually have other goals in mind.”

(The husband half laughs at this point and looks right at me.)

Husband: “Oh, do you actually have high dreams for yourself?”

(His wife chuckles, so I straighten up, stop scanning things, pull out my secondary wallet carrying my military ID, with ‘specialist’ listed as the rank and my military police badge and slam it on the table.)

Me: “Actually, I’m in the Army. I am here on leave and I can’t stand to just sit around. My family is working, so a few days each time I’m back I come here to work. I have been on details I’m not allowed to discuss and you will never learn about from the news.”

(The husband literally looks straight down and slinks a little.)

Me: “Not to mention while I’m doing this, I’m about a year and half into my bachelors of science in criminology. But, hey…” *I go back to scanning his items and putting away my wallet* “…it must be extremely nice for someone like you to enjoy being here so casually thanks to people like me.”

(During the rest of the time I scan the items, neither person says a word.)

Me: “That will be [price]. We can do any credit card or cash.”

(The husband says nothing and simply hands me his card politely.)

Me: “All right, here you go! Continue to enjoy the rest of your day!”

Husband: *in a hushed voice* “Thank you…”

Me: “You’re WELCOME. For everything.”

(I continue with the polite tone and smiling, and then call up the next customer.)

Next Customer: “THANK YOU!”

(The customer shakes my hand and we talk about his time in the Marines during Vietnam. I made sure to give him the 10% military discount.)