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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Ironic That She Wants A RACE Car

    | Barrie, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work at a fast food establishment that gives out toys with their kids meals. This particular month, we have dolls, or toy cars. There are four dolls in the set; two are white, one is Asian, and one is black. On this day, we only have the black doll in stock.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like a different doll, please.”

    Me: “Sorry, those are the only dolls we have available right now.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? I can see one right there.”

    (The customer points to the toy display case.)

    Me: “Those are for display only, sorry.”

    Customer: “Open your f****** case, and get me another doll! I don’t want my daughter playing with some n***** doll!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we really don’t have any other doll. If you like, hang on to it, and come back next week when we get our new toys. You can switch it then.”

    Customer: “Not good enough; I want a manager!”

    (I go into the back, and explain to a black staffer—who happens to be built like a tank—what is happening. I ask him to go up front and pretend to be the manager.)

    Coworker: “My employee explained the situation. What would you like me to do about it?”

    Customer: *turns red and looks completely terrified* “I’d like to switch this for a car, please?”

    Using Her Outside Voice

    , | USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Top

    (It is very early in the morning, and most of our customers are elderly folks coming in to drink coffee and socialize. A very sweet older customer comes to my register.)

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am! How are you today?”

    Customer: “My aren’t you chipper in the morning! I’m doing pretty good this morning dear; how are you today?”

    Me: “I’m just great; thank you for asking. How can I help you this morning, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Well I’m not too hungry just yet, so I think I will just have one small coffee for now.”

    (I ring her in, and tell her the total. She begins slowly taking coins out of her purse, so I turn to make her coffee. I can hear her mumbling to herself. I assume she is counting, until I return with her coffee only to catch the tail end of a string of obscenities.)

    Customer: “D*** f****** dime! Where the f****** h*** is a penny! Stupid little b******!”

    (I am dumbstruck as the sweet little lady continues to mumble to herself while counting out her change. Finally, she finishes counting and she notices the look on my face.)

    Customer: “Oh my, I wasn’t speaking out loud again, was I?”

    (I nod slowly.)

    Customer: “Oh, goodness! I’m sorry you had to hear that! I wasn’t saying anything bad about you; you’re such a sweet girl. It’s just I’m so d*** old and I can’t f****** see. It’s just so frustrating! Well, have a great morning dear!”

    Sewing The Seeds of Anger

    | Belgium | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (I started sewing a few years ago, and got good enough at it to make most of my clothes myself, which has resulted in a wardrobe consisting of some unusual prints. A regular customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “I love your dress! You’re always wearing such special clothes! Do tell me where you shop!”

    Me: “Actually, I made this one myself. Thanks for the compliment!”

    Customer: “Really? That’s great! Can you make one for me?”

    Me: “Um… I have never made anything for someone else, and besides, I don’t have any of this fabric left, so I’m afraid I can’t do that!”

    (The customer suddenly gets angry.)

    Customer: “Now that’s just rude! Why would you do that? You’re just making pretty clothes for yourself so you can tell other people they will never have them!”

    (The customer slams the money on the counter, and leaves in a huff.)

    Bad At Math But Good At Infractions

    | Ventura, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Math & Science

    (My mom and I are in line at the register. In front of us is a customer with clearly a lot of things.)

    Cashier: “Okay, your total comes to $15.31.”

    Customer #1: “No, that’s not right. The dog food and water comes to $8.00!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry; let me try again. It still comes back to $15.31.”

    Customer #1: “Look, you stupid b****! This should all come to $8.00! Old hags like you shouldn’t be f****** working today. You’re too stupid!”

    (The cashier is in tears. My mom overhears this, and walks up to the customer.)

    My Mom: “Now you listen, little brat. This woman has been polite, calm and patient with you. Just shut the f*** up and buy your things! Maybe if you had the intelligence to check the prices instead of relying on others, you wouldn’t be in this situation, would you? I’ve had an awful day, and I don’t want to spend the next ten minutes listening to your God-d*** mouth!”

    (The customer remains silent the whole time. He buys his things and leaves. We walk up to the register.)

    My Mom: “So, how was your day?”

    Cashier: “Great! Thank you! I’ve been really stressed out. I really needed that.”

    Me: “If you lived with us, you would hear a lot more than that!”

    (We share a laugh, and the cashier gives us a discount on our things on behalf of my mom shutting the customer up!)

    Digging A Conversational Hole A Rabbit Could Fit Into

    | Germany | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I am checking out a young couple’s weekly groceries. I overhear their exchange.)

    Girl #1: *puts massive pack of batteries onto the conveyor belt*

    Girl #2: “Wait, that’s really expensive! What do we even need batteries for?”

    Girl #1: *glances nervously at me* “They’re for the TV remote.”

    Girl #2: “Oh, I didn’t realise the batteries in the remote had run out. Do we need that many though? I mean what else do we have that even uses batter— Oh…”

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